Are people always that rude on the YLF facebook page? - YouLookFab Forum

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Are people always that rude on the YLF facebook page?

Aziraphale

Veteran

So last night when I couldn't connect with YLF, I popped over to the facebook page which I knew existed but which I had not previously visited, just to see if the problem was with my computer or if the whole site was down. I was surprised and dismayed to read some of the comments about Angie's outfit yesterday. Why do people think it's OK to be rude in cyberspace? Comments like "hate the bag" are inexcusable, even if you do in fact hate the bag. You wouldn't say it to a person's face, so why is it somehow OK to write them in the comments section? I'm all for constructive criticism, but geez. And Angie is so generous in offering assistance to others, and tactful with her suggestions, too.

I'm just venting.

General

15 replies

Latest reply was from

rute

Veteran

I'm not sure why but people can be mean and the facebook page has a different kind of readers, the ones that don't know Angie nor Angie's style.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You are sweet, Elisabeth. Thanks for the kind words.

This is the nature of facebook unfortunately and Rute is right.The readers on FB are a lot more anonymous and random. Hence the lack of tact. It is what it is. Fortunately, I am able to brush off those types of comments easily.

Anonymous

I read those comments, too. All I have to say is: consider the sources. Not exactly Anna Wintours-in-the-making.

*meow*

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I also popped over to the YLF Facebook page to see if I could find out if the site was down, and it helped to see a posting there saying it was a temporary problem with the server.

In terms of comments, I didn't read many - and I'm guessing that what rute suggests is probably very true. Different group of readers, and maybe some of them lack context? For instance, if I were to just randomly pop onto a website that asked for a quick 'yay or nay' vote on something - it would be easier to say 'nay' if I saw something that wasn't my style or if I didn't know about such concepts as 'de-bombshelling a pencil skirt' or (and this is new for me too) that flats are fringe in a good way

Mochi

Veteran

Yeah, I was indirectly referring to this...it inspired my thoughts on a comment tainting an outfit. I don't think most of the remarks were meant to cut, but were certainly insensitive and thoughtless...it is just not the same community as here, for sure.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Yes, it's true that commenters are a lot more anonymous on facebook, but still -- how is "hate the bag" not dismissive and rude, even if you don't know Angie? When would you say that to ANYBODY?

People are more prone behave badly when they're anonymous, I suppose, because they think they can get away with it.

It still bugs me.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Nancy, I just read your "tainted love" thread and put together the pieces

It's back to what is so very true: typing whatever you want from the anonymity of a keyboard feels very powerful. And people are attracted to power. It's one of the laws of human nature.

Nancy to answer your question on the other thread, the person passing the negative comment makes all the difference to me. I need to hold that person in high regard with respect to the subject matter. If it's Greg, the comment as a huge affect on me - although I still wear frilly stuff and shiny things despite my sweetie not liking those types of items.

Elisabeth, you win the cute award today

JenA

Veteran

I agree that FB/computers can de-humanize social interactions. As I tell my DD, if you wouldn't shout it or post it on the board at school, then don't say it online.

Angie, I'm glad that you can take it all without letting it get to you. That is such a good & healthy attitude -- and you continue to be an excellent role model.

And, well, you know what 'they" say.... (PLEASE excuse the crude language)
Opinions are like A@##%#@s, everyone has one.

ironkurtin

Veteran

People are just rude, I think.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08.....er.html?hp

I deal with this in my professional life ALL THE TIME. After a while you build up a skin, unfortunately.

Anonymous

Ahhh... I actually went to the FB page to look. Yes, the delivery sucked but hey, let's look at the positives. Angie has an amazing batting average and with reason. I can only recall one more instance where she had some negative feedback - highty questionable, of course, considering the sources - in the almost THREE years I've been hanging around these parts.
Angie, you rock!
Wear that blouse more often, I say:)

rae

(website)

Veteran

Wow, IK, that article is CRAZY! And the coach who harassed his female teammate would only apologize "IF" he had offended anyone? And he blamed his iniability to defend himself?? What kind of back-handed non-apology is that?

I noticed the comments on the FB page, too, and chose not to continue reading very far. That is the stuff I come to YLF to get away from.

So many of us look at dressing as a creative outlet - an art form. Artists have to take these blows as a given, I think, and just ignore them. The fastest way to make art nobody likes is to try and make art that everyone likes.

K. Period.

Veteran

O/T: Rae, I just love you. That comment on art, and people here seeing clothing as a creative outlet, was so perfect.

Back on topic: People are willing to be much ruder when they are insulated. Just look at how people behave when they drive. How often to you see someone you know turn into someone you don't behind the wheel of a car as they interact with other anonymous drivers? I've gotten some pretty interesting character lessons in the passenger seat. Facebook is the same.

Angie, I know you've heard it a thousand times, but I want to say again that it is clear that it is you and your attitudes that have created this incredible space for people to enjoy fashion. I am always impressed by how carefully people phrase their comments here so that what could otherwise be criticism is instead helpful and collaborative. And by how readily people join in to share the joy of a great find, a great outfit, or anything else going fabulously. This is an amazing forum. Thank you for creating this outlet for us.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Do you think the tide may be turning? With anonymous trolls now (finally) being unmasked and held accountable for their actions, I would like to think so.

Deborah

Veteran

I don't think I have ever commented on the YLF FB page but I had to after I read those comments. I thought they were rude and unnecessary! And sadly it appears to be the nature of Facebook which I am not a huge fan off:(

Anonymous

I don't do Facebook, and it saddens me to think that so many people in our society think it's okay to post rude comments. Just because it's anonymous doesn't mean it's okay, and it doesn't excuse the behavior. No one thinks of holding themselves accountable for their personal behavior, whether done publicly or anonymously. It's really sad.