Are my shoulders narrow ? - YouLookFab Forum

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Are my shoulders narrow ?

Dolores

Hello,

I would like to get your opinion about something !
I am talking about body dysmorphia and insecurities so I would just like to put a trigger warning just in case as I really don’t want to hurt anybody !!

First, let me tell you I have always been very hard on my body. I am really trying to be less obsessive and more kind toward myself, and somehow I made great progresses
Sometimes, there are some relapses though and I get obsessed about a body part

I guess I am posting again because a friend of mine made a comment on my body and that made me spiral into self-deprecation

She said I had shallows shoulders compared to my hips and now, my brain make me feel like my body has weird proportions (even though I find plenty of body shapes gorgeous)
I know these are just thoughts and I am working on paying less attention to them.
On a former thread, you told me I was an hourglass

I just wanted to post some pictures for reassurance I guess
Just to know that my body does not look disproportionate ?

In the mean time, don’t worry, I am really working on this with my therapist.
I have come a long way already

Thank you, please don’t be too harsh

And again, I hope I am not offending anyone …

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Body Type

20 replies

Latest reply was from Dania Leu

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Dolores, I don't know what "shallow shoulders" are. I'd take it as a compliment and shrug off negative intent! People don't realize what's coming out of their mouths, sometimes.

I see a very pretty and healthy body with beautiful proportions! Your shoulders are dainty, your waist narrows, and your curves are fabulous! Allow body confidence to shine through as you hold your head up high and appreciate the miracle of your body

Echo

Veteran

And HERE is the reason people should never comment on someone else's body unless they are specifically asked. I am so sorry your friend was so rude as to comment without your consent.

Your body is beautiful and perfectly proportionate. Your shoulders look equally as wide/large as your hips, and your waist is smaller. You are an hourglass, no question about it.

And while I realize it is so much easier said than done, no one can make you feel insecure without your consent. Of course, this is why you are working with a therapist. But please don't let one passing comment from a "friend" destroy the progress you have made. And next time someone makes an unwelcome comment, do not be afraid to tell them, "I would appreciate it if you did not comment on my body. I maintain it the way I see fit and am not seeking advice."

The Cat

Veteran

You look well-proportioned❣

Perhaps you need better friends.

Kate

Veteran

In no way is your body disproportionate. You have a lovely shape. I have no idea what shallow shoulders even means. Try to dismiss it. Why people feel compelled to comment on other people’s bodies I will never know. Just say thank you with a big smile, and put your discomfort back where it belongs—on the commenter.

JP

Veteran

You have some very wise advices above, read them again and again...
You have a very beautiful and well-proportioned body. I'd love to have that body and perhaps your friend does too!!
As The Cat said, you probably need new friends. I have no idea what 'shallow shoulders' mean, did you ask your 'friend' what that means? If she meant narrow, I would say definitely not narrow. I think you do have an hourglass shape.

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Dolores

Oh I definitely meant "narrow" or sloped. I think it's the autocorrect, sorry

Thank you so much for your kind messages, I will read them again and again when I feel the need. They're really helpful ❤

Angie, thank you ! So I don't necessarily need to wear clothes that visually widen the shoulder line ? I have been obsessed with off-shoulders and bateau necklines ever since... I have already purchased two sleeveless tops like this, lol.

Echo, thank you so much !!
I completely agree. It's rude and unnecessary to comments on someone's body. But at the same time, I am sure she didn't mean to hurt me, that's why I don't resent her for this.
I am sure she would be mortified if she knew how upset her comment made me feel.
You're right, if that happens again, I will answer like this

The Cat, maybe I do :p

Kate and JP, she indeed meant "narrow" shoulders. Thank you both for your kind reply
I admit that did cross my mind. She's insecure of her body as well. She's slim but has shoulders that are slightly broader and more squared that mine. Her hips are straight. She's more busty that I am though, I think her body looks great

Maybe that's why she made a comment about my small shoulders in relation to my hips, basically saying I was a pear.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I feel better now, thanks to you

nuancedream

Veteran

Your proportions are very similar to mine and I have received unsolicited comments about my body quite frequently over the years. You are perfect just the way you are and no one's unwanted comment will change that fact.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Hi Dolores you look beautifully in proportion to me, like a gorgeous hourglass. It’s good to do the work on yourself emotionally though, with your therapist etc, as society’s expectations and other’s careless comments can do a number on our self-esteem- as witnessed by my recent very long thread about my grey hair when I was thought to be a grandmother of someone the age of my own children. The forum’s kind comments helped me a lot as well

morethanbeige

Veteran

I think you have beautiful proportions. I also know that we can sometimes be our own harshest critics. I hope that you can see yourself for the beautiful young woman you are.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Dolores, please wear and enjoy the styles you like with a happy heart! No need to visually widen the shoulder line. Youl look gorgeous

FWIW, I have narrow shoulders and wear strapless swimsuits, sleeveless dresses, boat necks, and off the shoulder tops and dresses. If I found a strapless dress I loved - I'd wear that too!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Dolores, read today's blog post

https://youlookfab.com/2023/06.....onfidence/

MsMaven

Veteran

Dolores, when I was a teen-ager I worried because I thought I had broad shoulders and looked masculine. My friend's Mom said I should buy some "Wate On," a product advertised in the back pages of women's magazine. I was very skinny back then. Later I got to worrying about my narrow shoulders and thought I had "thunder thighs." I was wrong in both cases.

Like others have said, you have beautiful shoulders and a gorgeous shape. Enjoy it. You look great in your outfit.

Dolores

nuancedream
Thank you so much
I am so sorry for the comments you got about your body
I really hope they didn’t impact your self esteem

JennyNZ, thank you !
I am happy that you found comfort in this community, it’s a great one
And I am sure there’s nothing wrong about your look and you have a lot to be proud of

More than beige, thank you, I am really trying
This website this really helps me : https://www.nationaleatingdiso.....-your-body

Angie, it’s so kind of you ❤️
Thank you !! I will read today’s post with attention but I am already really moved by your gesture, thank you so much
This community is a great source of support ! I really appreciate that you are so benevolent and supportive to one another, it warms my heart

MsMaven, thank you we are our worst enemies
Hope you are feeling better now

Bee

You have even and proportionate shoulders with a slight slope, which I find lovely and very feminine. I bet you’d look amazing in off-the-shoulder tops and sundresses with ruffled necklines.

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judy

Veteran

Oh people's comments! They have the power to hurt...but also, to heal! So good for you for reaching out here to get some needed love and support.

I read the 20 ways to love your body link that you posted. What a great list! That said most of what I wanted to offer to you, a radical way to step out of the mindset that says your body should be different, to accept what we have and to appreciate the body as an instrument rather than an ornament. There is also a book called The Body is Not an Apology, which was a total reframe of what a body is and what it is for. It explored that there are all kinds of bodies, and all bodies are valid, all bodies are beautiful, no matter how they look or how abled or disabled.

You've reminded me of some of the past remarks said by others about my body...whether it was knobby knees when I was a kid, or I also got the "narrow shoulder" one once too, as an adult. Before those things were said, I hadn't thought about it. Then they got in my head for a time. I now realize that what they said was more about them and how they felt about their bodies than it was about me and mine. It's like we can have an ideal of a body that lives in all of our minds...but THAT is what is narrow, not my (or your) shoulders! Of course bodies come in all shapes and sizes! I love that it is now considered impolite to comment on anyone's body, both positive or negative. As well it should be. Let's just behold each others beauty.

Here's a quote I love that I've shared on the forum before, that a dear younger relative heard on TikTok: "Our bodies are the least interesting thing about us!".

nancylee

Veteran

I see a beautifully proportioned slim hourglass figure, Dolores.

Lana

(website)

Veteran

Rude of her to say anything especially since it’s not true! Your shoulders look proportional to you hips and you have a BEAUTIFUL hourglass figure.

Style Fan

Veteran

People's comments can be so hurtful. Your shoulders look perfect for your body.

Bee

To think I quit swimming (the only sport I was good at besides equestrianism) because our housekeeper said I had “big strong shoulders”. I was 12 years old and had gone through puberty early, wearing bras and adult sizing by age 10. I was sick and tired of people saying how big and tall I was for my age. I absolutely hated being among the 5 tallest girls in my grade. Taller than all the boys. I especially hated it when they used to line us all up from shortest to tallest against the blackboard in order to measure our “progress” on the first day of the school year.

Imagine my relief when two years later (8th grade) I was among the 5 SHORTEST girls at 5’4 (163 cm) and haven’t grown an inch since. I still have pants from back then that fit me perfectly (although tops and dresses are a bit tight around my chest). I realize now that even for a middle schooler, a size 00 or 0 is still very small. But I still remember feeling extremely awkward in my own skin and somehow inadequate compared to my peers.

You have a lovely figure. Don’t ever let anyone tell you or make you think otherwise.

Dania Leu

You look very proportioned Dolores.

Your shoulders are not shallow too. Remember that your worth goes far beyond what meets the eye. You are stunning just the way you are!