As usual, Gaylene makes excellent points. None of these things are simple or only two dimensional - there are scores of considerations to take into account for each action.
I think that probably the best action any of us can take is to be more mindful of our wardrobes and to purchase less and use what we have more. If a synthetic item lasts longer and looks better for a longer time (some of them are like that while others are not), then it might be a better choice for some individuals.
As for fabric softener, typical versions would not be used by vegetarians, as they are made from tallow. Indeed, I worked in the paper industry for many years, and fabric softener sheets smell like rancid fat without the overwhelming scents they use (because that's essentially what they are). They do coat the clothing with a layer that makes them slightly water resistant, they can often irritate the skin, and they can make soft handed cottons pill. I won't touch traditional fabric softeners with a ten foot pole myself, friction or not.
ETA: I lied. Fabric softener sheets are excellent for repelling rodents, as they won't come near the stuff, either. If anyone has areas that they want to keep pests from entering before they have a chance to repair/fill them up better, stuff them with a few dryer sheets. They will keep mice, other rodents and bats away - some insects, too!
