Wow, Emily -- I'm in awe of your mom. That level of self-sufficiency is definitely a little bit aspirational for me, but I doubt I'll ever get there. I can also understand how unappealing that lifestyle might become if you grew up with it and had no say in the matter. My husband and I both come from moderately frugal backgrounds, but it seems like everyone's definition of frugality, where they're willing to scrimp and where they're willing to splurge, is a little bit different.
Sarah -- I think you're right that Ann Patchett is big into restrictions/rules; she talks quite a lot about her Catholic upbringing and the emphasis on self-denial, lenten , so I think for some people that mentality is just deeply engrained.
Diana -- I think you are probably right about moderation, but I suspect there are also people for whom shopping is truly an addictive behaviour, and cold-turkey may actually be a more effective approach.
She's pretty clear that her goal was to clear mental space in order to accomplish more; to me, this makes sense, and it's a personal goal rather than a social prescription (I think altering individual consumer behaviour is a dead-end in terms of social change). Time is a valuable resource in itself. My husband pretty much never shops for this very reason: the money is less of a factor for him than his sense that there are so many other things he could be doing. That's definitely a very middle-/upper-class motivation for not shopping. Privilege of choice. I grew up significantly poorer than DH did, and for me shopping offers a lot more emotional resonance/fantasy-life/aspirational elements. I mean, I even love going to the grocery store, just to look at everything and feel surrounded by possibilities. I'm well aware that this is a ridiculous way to feel -- I'm just a kid in a candy store wherever I am.
She also talks about still buying books, since they're how she makes a living. So again, not total abstinence but evaluating priorities.
Rachy -- yes, the struggle to pay for experiences! I'm a millennial, and this is supposed to be where we're putting all our money, but I balk at the cost of a lot of events and exhibits. Plus, I live in a place where there are still enough free or nearly-free art events that I never feel like I'm missing out.
Sterling -- it's always interesting to me too. I'm forever trying to sort out my relationship to things, but sometimes true minimalism (donate all your books to the library! never buy a duplicate of anything!) really makes me gag, because it's so impractical and seems to not take into account that there are a multitude of ways to be happy. Having a few extra coffee cups in the cabinet, in case of unexpected guests, is probably not the thing standing in the way of one's happiness.
