While I only read the original thread but avoided commenting on it, I just wanted to say a couple things, and please know that these are just general comments not aimed as a criticism towards anyone.
First of all, thank you to Angie and Greg for really striving to create a positive space where we can openly discuss on-and-off topic issues - especially for modeling respectful communication, and making sure to quell anything that crosses those boundaries. Part of the reason I've stuck around so long is because I'm amazed at how the YLF community works so well to encourage positive interaction and foster supportive relationships.
I've seen an awful lot of other online forums that are rife with personal attacks/drama, or where the moderators have to be VERY heavy-handed to avoid negativity from spiraling out of control. While I know the two of you do a lot behind the scenes to make YLF work as well as it does, your IN-PERSON work of interacting with community members and modeling the type of communication you hope to see here is really effective. From my perspective you really are very careful about only closing threads that truly cross those boundaries - I can probably count the number of non-spam threads that I remember being closed on one hand.
Second, just a tidbit I learned from a former life as a college "peer tutor", when some of my feedback was given via email instead of in person: It's very, very hard to convey tone accurately online. People generally tend to read online documents quickly and skim content, and sometimes can misinterpret an innocent word or comment as an attack.
One method I used when I was crafting my feedback - as I wanted to be positive and encouraging, even if I was writing about suggestions or strategies for improvement - was to read everything I wrote in a moderately "angry" voice before sending it out. Now, I mostly read my writing in my head, but sometimes I used to even speak it out loud.
It sounds silly, but for me this was a filter for identifying potential innocent remarks that might be taken as super harsh criticism. I can't say for sure that it always worked, but it helped me feel like I was at least trying to create a neutral tone when discussing something that could be improved. I wanted to balance professionalism and helpfulness with wanting the person I was working with to have a positive experience - and want to come back.
I use the opposite strategy sometimes when I read terse communication online - blunt, one-line emails that a coworker forwards by cell phone; a "No thank you" letter from a potential employer. If I am feeling sensitive, I try to read the message instead in a more upbeat voice rather than in a flat or angry tone. It helps me from keeping my hackles rising too much - most of the time!
