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An involuntary purge

MuseumGal

Veteran

OK here's the deal. Husband and I own a 3 bedroom house. Like many women, I have a bursting closet full of clothes. Two closets, actually, since I also use the closet in a spare room. However, for the last 7.5 years, I've been a graduate student ~100 miles away, and I also have kept a small apartment where I stay during the week. In January I will be closing up my apartment to go home full-time and finish up the dissertation writing. Of course I have accumulated a second wardrobe over the last 7.5 years.

The thing is I like my clothes. Most of them fit and flatter. But no one needs (for instance) 40 sleeveless blouses, even if they do all fit and flatter. I have no problem getting rid things that don't fit or look good on me. What I need is a strategy for getting rid of things that I actually like. I'm also a bit flummoxed on what to do with my dressier clothing (for teaching, conferences, etc.). I won't be using most of it for the next 6-8 months, but getting rid of all that seems silly at this point. Any suggestions on how to go about this rather involuntary purge?

Dressing

18 replies

Latest reply was from Laura (rhubarbgirl)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ah, what a challenge!

You will get plenty of good advice here.

You might try doing it in stages, item by item, or season by season, or capsule by capsule -- whatever makes more intuitive sense to you.

Here are a few questions to start: Do I love it? Does it express my style direction? Does it duplicated something that I actually reach for more often?

How many of these do I actually need/ wear? (Mo has a thread on how many items of clothing she needs that provoked some great discussion).

For the teaching/ conferences capsule, perhaps that is something you'll be able to store more easily in a separate closet or space until it is needed again. And in that case, maybe you can just hang onto thing until you have them back in rotation and can make a more reasonable estimate.

Adelfa

Veteran

I think Suz's question about duplication is really useful. Clothes can only have so many functions and within a functional group you will have favorites. Also, your need for a particular functional group will vary according to lifestyle.

"Sleeveless blouse" describes the structure of the item but not its function. I can imagine functions like "hot weather casual top," "hot weather dressy top," "cold weather layering shell," etc.

So for example in the category "fall casual bottoms" I have dark wash blue jeans, dark purple skinnies, oxblood jeans, cobalt jeans, gray cords, black ponte pants, and black skinnies. Need? I wear them on casual Friday and weekends. So this is a lot of items for just three days of wear. If I were trying to prune I would identify the most worn--the dark blue jeans and the purple skinnies, no question. Then I'd know which I might give up.

Good luck!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Great advice from Suz & Adelfa. I do what Adelfa does - identify when & how I wear things & keep the best.

The things I reach for over & over turn out to be trans-seasonal & able to be styled dressy or casual. So versatility is important to me because I want fewer clothes.

We are all so different. Only you know the difference between enough variety & sitting in the wardrobe unworn.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

This might sound daunting, but I would be inclined to bring all the stuff from the apartment to your house so you can see -- and then sort -- everything all together. I'd tackle it one item type at a time: pants, skirts, dresses, tops, sweaters, etc. This way you will really find out whether an item has a near-twin or is somehow redundant. Being able to try everything on while you purge is a good idea.

I found it very helpful to pull everything from each category out of the closet and sort it all on the bed (and/or any other surfaces in the room, especially when it came to shoes). You truly realize how much you have when it takes up space outside of the closet!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I really like what Adelfa and Caro say about function. This is how I'm building my wardrobe (I've had to build from 0 clothes up). In other words, I'm in the opposite position to you at the moment. Anyway...figuring out what I do and what feels most comfortable and stylish for these activities is the way I go about it. Function (and in my case, weather) first -- then, what are my stylish options in within that set of needs?

Adelfa makes a really good point that a sleeveless top is not necessarily a sleeveless top. There are dressy, casual, layering, stand-alone - - all kinds.

amiable

Veteran

I'm working through a similar (though less extreme) situation. Last night I read a series of posts - here - and started through the recommended activities. I think they'll help me a lot.

MuseumGal

Veteran

These are all helpful suggestions, thank you! I am definitely doing some less aggressive purges over the next two months (weeding out the things that don't fit or just don't get worn), and then once I have it altogether will be more aggressive. For instance last night I purged 2 coats, a rain jacket, and 3 blazers, leaving me with 11 coats/jackets and 9 blazers. This is just down at my apartment - I have more crap at the house. But it occurs to me just now that since I'm at my apartment more than at my house, maybe I should start up there, since most of that stuff (except my garden and house clothes) truly has not been worn much in the last 7 years.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I am following this thread with great interest. I am in a similar-ish situation myself - I have two big closets in my condo filled with clothes, and I spend most of the week at the BF's downtown, where I have gradually taken over about half of his space.

It is hard to get rid of pieces you really like, especially if you are like me, the Mother of all Creative Excuses. Even when you rarely wear the piece. I am in the midst of a HUGE debate with myself, about how I should overlook the fact that my striped Ann Taylor sweater (5% wool) makes my arms itch like nobody's business, and just wear it anyway, because it's so freakin' cute and I hunted for a couple of years before I found this exact sweater. Even though the last three times I put it on, I took it off within 15 minutes because my arms and collarbone felt like they were being chewed on by sandgnats.

Huh. Funny how you see it in print, and realize the irrationality of it all.

I would really love to hear your thought processes, as you cull. What makes it hard, and what is it that makes you finally say, "Nope. I'm good. Out the door you go."

I just decided that next time I try the sweater, I'm going to take an Allegra first.

unfrumped

Veteran

MuseumGal, it can be so easy to lose track of how many pieces, how many dupes ( necessary vs. unnecessary) due to the 2 locations. I can have that problem just by moving off- season clothes out of my main closet, so I go back & forth about that, even. Have you thought about making a wardrobe list of every item? I did that, then my iPhone ate it, but it was pretty eye- opening.

La Belle, premedicating for clothing... nooooo! Step away from the toxic sweater!

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I would go through your clothes with a real critical and unsentimental eye... Are they really still in style? Do they fit your current (not fantasy) lifestyle, your style descriptors and your style aspirations? If they are dated, worn out or don't seem to fit like they used to, let them go. It will be freeing and liberating to have a better edited, more manageable wardrobe.
PS- if you haven't worn something in these 7 years... well maybe it's time to let it go?

Marlene

Veteran

I did something simular about 5 years ago. First I settled on a color palatte. And anything that was not in that palatte I let go. (I let go of an entire wardrobe based around brown and beige) Second I had a rough "style statement" about what I wanted to look like....anything that did not advance my style statement I let go. And finally, I let go a of lot of "just in case" items. This process allowed about half of my items to go. At THAT point I went through the "does it fit/do I like it/is it in good shape" process and honed it down to fit into the closet I currently have. My wardrobe is small enough that I don't have anything in off-season storage. And I have a certain number of hangers and if something comes in, one goes out. So I am managing to maintain my appropriate size. Whew!

Lisa

Veteran

I've been in this position. I think the easiest purges are to get rid of items that are worn out, don't fit, and are not your current style. Then it gets a little harder. For myself, next I looked at wardrobe duplicates (4 black sweaters, why do I have 4, do I really want to wear black 4 days a week?) and purge at least half of them (or all except one if you can be bold straight away, I had to purge slowly).

When I first started tracking what I owned and wore, I quickly realized I would often have far more items to wear for a given season, than I would have for length of that season! So then I shifted to purging items that went unworn in a given season. I wouldn't purge everything because that was too much of a shock for me, but I'd purge at least half of the unworn items. To help me purge I would select a favorite piece and ask myself, would I wear "the item up for purging" over the favorite item? All the no's were next to go. This helped me keep items I know I like.

I went from over 300 items to around 150 now and I live in a 4 season climate. It also took me at least 3 years to do this.

Currently I am still trying to purge but it's stalled at this point. By now I've been through my wardrobe enough times to know I do enjoy what I own, but I also still have too many items to wear them all so I just have to wear things out before I purchase any new items. My current focus is to get as much cost per wear out of an item before I purge it as I can so I'm focusing on creating new outfit combinations to remix old favorites.

Good luck with your purging!

peacechick

Veteran

Great advice here! I'm also trying to prune down my wardrobe. Sorting by seasons has helped, as I only have the right clothes hanging in my wardrobe. I find the act of storing and pulling out makes you look critically at what you actually wear, Also make sure you try everything on! Sometimes something you remember as flattering may no longer suit your style or may have dated quite a bit.

MuseumGal

Veteran

Wow, you guys are ruthless! I am impressed. Truthfully I don't actually want a minimal wardrobe - I do like variety - but I also don't need two full wardrobes (and don't have the space). Purging continues ... still working on coats and toppers.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

Somewhere I read about a method for weeding out clothes when you are having a hard time deciding what to keep. Of course, I can't find the link now, but the gist of it was to make a stack of all the items in a given category (say, blouses) and then start comparing them against each other. That is, take the first two items off the stack and compare them, picking your favorite. The favorite goes to the "keep" pile. Then compare the next item on the stack to the one you liked the least in the previous comparison, and put the favorite on the "keep" pile. Eventually you end up with a stack of your favorites and a stack of your least-favorites, which makes it easier to purge the latter.

Or at least, something like that! I'm sure there was a clever twist here that I'm forgetting.

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

When I was purging unneeded stuff from our house, the question that helped me the most was "if all this stuff went up in a flame, would I buy this item again, would I replace it?" If the answer was no, then it went.

carter

Veteran

My daughter's situation is a bit similar. She's a college senior. She still had a closet full of clothes here, but she also has a closet full of clothes there. When I was telling her about my big wardrobe do-over a couple months ago, she said, "go ahead and donate everything in my closet. If I haven't missed it enough to bring it to school in 3 years of trips home, I don't need it." There was quite a lesson in there for me as our guest room closets held my clothes from years ago that I haven't touched in longer than I can remember. Out they went.

If you don't want or need to be quite so brutal, just leave the items from your apartment packed away until you have worn and evaluated (keep/donate) everything in your home closets.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I got myself in a simiilar situation, although smaller in volume, when I was traveling for work a few years ago and staying in a hotel during the week. I would leave some stuff with the front desk on the weekends when I went home rather than haul it all back and forth on the plane. On the last week of my assignment when I had to bring everything home with me, I suddenly realized it wouldn't all fit in my luggage! I had to do some quick culling and I think my extra carryon luggage was a grocery bag full of stuff...

Everyone's given some great advice. Another strategy to consider is to rent some storage space temporarily, or store the extra clothes somewhere that's not your regular closet. Tat way you have the time to go through everything thoughtfully and not feel rushed. I agree withSuz about the for conferences/teaching stuff - while you're writing your diss you probably don't need that stuff much but there's no sense in getting rid of it if it still fits and is good quality,,especially since you'll likely need that function of clothes in the future.