Am I too picky? - YouLookFab Forum

Shannon asked if she settled too easily. I'm afraid I'm the opposite...all PP and no P.

This week I have tried on and rejected:

A pair of black linen pants that was so wide legged I felt like an elephant...and I'm looking for wide leg.
A beautiful green t shirt that was so low cut I couldn't wear it without a cami and it is too hot to layer right now.
A green print top I was lukewarm about.
A peplum top and another print that was too large...no other size available.
Six bras that were uncomfortable.
A Zara top that was too large, too deep in the arm holes, and had a hole in it.
A Zara print top that made me feel like I was wearing PJ's. (I want to try prints, but keep feeling this way).
A Zara top that had a V neck practically to my belly and (see green T above). Definitely not pictured that way.

Lots of shopping, zero buying. I can't imagine settling for any of the above things, but I am just not finding anything I want to wear! In general, if the goal is to love your clothes, how do I get to "practical"?

12 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I don't see this as too picky Peri - especially when reading why these items were rejected. Why do you want to wear something that doesn't fit right, doesn't make you feel good and isn't comfortable???

Even in comparison with my settling too easy question, the items I ended up choosing still had to meet comfort, flattery and wardrobe compatibility factors.

texstyle

(website)

I have to do this all the time as I buy nearly all of my wardrobe online. It's frustrating at times to send 6 or more packages back in one day but it's worth it I guess knowing that I am not settling.

Thistle

All of your reasons were perfectly valid. I return at least 90% of what I order. I am waiting for Nordies to revoke my ordering priviledges!!

That said, every piece I have been keeping, I love and feel like it looks terrific on me. Worth the wait for the right pieces.

I have also learned certain brands and designers "get" my body better than others. I am hoping, with time, this will help reduce my returns as I will know how to order from the designers I like, and admire from afar designers I like but don't make clothes that "get" me.

Suz

Peri, this isn't being too picky. Not at all.

But online shopping can be truly frustrating this way. I have to do a lot of it, and I also make a lot of returns. I don't even show half the stuff -- no K/R threads when I am confident it's going straight back!

It's worst in the first year of rebuilding a wardrobe. You really need stuff -- yet so much doesn't seem to work! Later on, it gets easier to feel philosophical about it. And also, you start learning what works and doesn't work for your body, and, as Thistle says, which designers are good bets for your body type. This saves time and energy.

shedev

I don't think you are being too picky. I also think there are times when you will see a lot that you love and times when you will see very little.

Janet

Suz makes a great point about online shopping. I keep maybe 30% of what I buy online. It's good to be picky!

Glory

Oh Peri I feel your pain but you want to remain picky otherwise what was the point of the purge?
I have returned so much (more than 90%) that I am completely embarrassed to walk into a few of the stores.
You will find something!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

Nope, you're not too picky. This is your money! Why should you hand over your money for a piece of clothing that makes you feel 'meh' about yourself? I think (hope) at some point that retailers will realize that they can't keep going with the 'throw the spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks/sells' sales model.

I've tried on at least forty white knit or tee shirts in assorted stores over the past month, and I have not found one that fit the way I wanted. I would rather wait for a shirt that I am thrilled with, and keep wearing what I already have.

Anonymous

Au contraire! It's good that you rejected these things, but I feel your frustration at not finding what you need. I feel the same way whenever I shop retail. At lease you didn't purchase them because then you would have to return them.

As long as you are not having to "go around nekkid", you should take your time. It should be love when you buy something new! Pants are hard to fit. Comfortable bras are hard to find. Hang in there!

catgirl

I think you are spot-on.

My DH just had an epiphany about this - he had to return a defective jacket to REI, and we found two possible replacements. After talking to an SA, she convinced him to buy and take home both to try out. I seized the opportunity to point out to him that THIS is why I get so many packages and return so many things - because it pays to be picky and try as many options as possible. And he GOT IT!

Although now he wants to keep both jackets - HA.

T-Rex

On some shopping trips, nothing seems to work. On others, I find lots of things. I don't know how much of it is the merchandise mix, and how much is the mood I'm in when I shop.

Also, keep in mind that sometimes we need to get aquainted with a new style or silhouette before we can decide if it will work for us. Think of the shopping trips that don't result in purchases as "coffee dates" with various items of clothing. Over time, you will either decide that you really do like something enough to revisit it, or you move on and find something you like better.

Gabrielle

Active Member

I think you rejected items that were wrong, just plain wrong. If you had purchased them, you would end up being sad and probably giving them away. I salute you for not compromising your integrity and purchasing sub par items just be have something.

Keep looking, you have not found what works for you.

Peri

Thanks, ladies. I know I was right to reject those things...they weren't even close to anything I would want to wear. (Except the green T if I'd found it back in March). It's just frustrating to have $ and a desire to buy and not find anything worth buying! I'm running out of the first P so really I'm just P at this point!

There was a past thread with people saying they were uninspired this season, so maybe "these styles just don't get me." I know one major issue is that the bottoms I need are not the main trend, and so the tops in the stores are of course going to work with the main trend and not work with my bottoms. (Sounds funny! Isn't.)

But T-Rex...so funny about the coffee date!! I met my DH of 30 years in college so I have no idea of the trials of dating. This must be what it feels like! Just, where are all the good clothes instead of where are all the good men! Except I'm sure the dating is worse. Because when the best I can aspire to is "you look okay" my sweetest will still say I look fab.

DonnaF

Hang in there!!! I've gone for years without purchasing X, Y, or Z (in my case, dresses, sleeveless tops, and jeans), but thankfully didn't go nekkid in the meanwhile. The other end of it is whether to purchase if an item fits, flatters, and goes with the wardrobe but isn't on the *list*. Michael Kors striped T on sale, I'm looking at you! Just figure these things ebb and flow.

An item that makes you unhappy now will NEVER make you happy. The only exception is if you get an ill fitting item altered and the alteration makes it perfect.

Kristin L

I feel your pain. It's a pain in the bum to reject everything, especially when it should fit what your looking for. But think of it like this - If you spend $X on it now, and you never wear it or you find the perfect thing later, you won't have the money you need for the perfect thing.

But seriously, good for you that you've realized that you don't need to settle for something that doesn't make you feel fab or think "This is it!"

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