Am I pretty?

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Con Con

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I feel ugly
Am I pretty?

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14 years ago

Urgent

12 replies

Latest reply was from rae

lyn67

Veteran

Dear Con Con!
Yes!!!! I can assure you are beautifull!! But hmm...I think also too young for trully believing it, if posted this question!!! :-((
For boosting and training your self confidence on body image please visit:
http://www.alreadypretty.com/category/body-image
There are lot of posts in that thread, please take the time to read:-))
Have a nice day!

14 years ago

Erin

Veteran

Absolutely! The problem is that it doesn't matter what we tell you. You are the one that needs to believe it for yourself. No one but you can really make that choice.
Does this make sense?

14 years ago

Sowmya

Active Member

Hug! You have a lovely smile...never ever think otherwise!

14 years ago

Astrid

Veteran

I'm sorry you're feeling that way! Everybody feels down sometimes and it's normal to have ups and downs, but in the end you have to get comfortable with yourself all on your own. You never should build your self-confidence on other people's (positive or negative) opinions!

I second the recommendation from lyn67 for reading up on body image on already pretty! There are some great posts there that may be helpful.

14 years ago

sunshine

Active Member

You are very pretty Con Con! Everyone feels not so great looking at times believe me. Count your blessings and know that you are a gift and life is a gift. Think positive and you will glow!

14 years ago

Kappy

Veteran

Of course you're beautiful. You have gorgeous eyes, great brows, a perfect nose, fabulous hair and a radiant smile. What more does a girl need?

14 years ago

rute

Veteran

Yes you are, but you need to discover that for yourself! Fashion can help you, you'll feel better when as you discover what suits you best, but all the work must start from the inside! You need to believe in you!

14 years ago

Irene

Veteran

I've been told I am ugly for a long time in my life. Years and years of stupid, senseless bullying at school took my self-esteem so low that it felt too far away to get back. But I did. I got it back and life is so much, so much, so much better now that I actually like myself, both in the outside AND inside. Of course I have what I call 'fat days' even though I'm fairly thin, because it doesn't really matter whether you are fat or not, or whether you are ugly or not, because it's something that you FEEL. I don't think there's a single person in the world who likes him/herself 24/7. And if she/he did exist, we'd be talking about a pathological narcissist without the capacity of inner exploration and self-criticism, which is something I personally appreciate in people. Ugliness or beauty is something extremely subjective, and I'm not talking of love alone. This guy in the street, you may drool over his looks while I might feel just indifferent towards him.
I won't tell you whether I find you pretty or not, and I don't think you will/should care about my opinion, anyways. Just try to love yourself on the whole, try to improve what you don't like and can be changed, and try to accept and like what you don't like and can't be changed. It's hard, and I think we all struggle with it, but there's no way around it. It's that or just feel ugly forever and ever, which will do you no good and which won't let you go on happily with your life. Take care and love yourself

14 years ago

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Third the recommendation for Already Pretty.

14 years ago

Kari

Veteran

Con, I think you're lovely, and I'm sorry that you don't see or feel your beauty *yet*. That being said - I think you are in high school, right? - I'm close enough to your age that I vividly and sometimes painfully remember how ugly and awkward I was convinced I was. I hope that does not sound patronizing. Sometimes we simply aren't ready to accept ourselves as beautiful, inside or out.
What I mean is that I look at photos of my high school self and am sometimes amazed at how beautiful I was compared to how terribly insecure I felt - I spent much of my time thinking that I was just an ugly, unloveable, horrible person, and I know now that wasn't true at all. I'm willing to bet that someday, you'll have those breakthrough moments, too. Or better yet, maybe you'll go through phases now where you love yourself more and are able to realize that you are a charismatic and attractive person.

Today, if you lined me up next to my high school self and asked most people to pick the "prettier" girl, based on looks alone, I'm sure that some people would pick my high school self - she's certainly slimmer, blonde, more demure. But my present-day self is much more confident and less insecure - and frankly, cares less about people thinking I'm weird - than I was in high school, and that makes me *feel* prettier. But that doesn't come overnight, and I still have a lot of work to do on liking myself inside and out. It's taking a lot of practice, and I'm still trying to banish the negative thoughts that run through my mind. It comes and goes. Some days I like my personality or my looks or my "inner Kari" more, and other days I'd still like to switch places with my best friend.

Another change - thanks in great part to YLF, I feel like I'm able to dress myself more successfully and purposefully than I did 4 years ago. I have a better sense of the messages that my outfits *and* how I carry myself can convey a message, for better or worse, about who I am. And again, that's taken a heck of a lot of experimentation, practice, and even failures/missteps - and I'm still learning! Actually, I think we all are, really - even the pros. What I love about YouLookFab's community forum is that we are all here to learn from, encourage, inspire, and help each other through our own style journeys.

I'd also urge you to review Angie's Individual Style posts - many of which discuss individual style journeys, and I find those especially inspiring reads: http://youlookfab.com/category/individual-style/
There are a couple great links on "dressing your best" on Academichic that I loved:
http://www.academichic.com/200.....your-best/
http://www.academichic.com/cat.....your-best/
And the body image posts on AlreadyPretty, which I see a few others have linked to, are marvelously uplifting and empowering.

14 years ago

Kari

Veteran

Oh my gosh, I wrote a lot. Sorry! Brevity isn't my strong suit, apparently!

14 years ago

rae

(website)

Veteran

Oh, my dear, you have no idea how gorgeous you are.

I once felt the same as you... for me, change took getting out into the world and away from some catty, negative influences and instead surrounding myself with positive people who have no interest in tearing me down to make themselves feel superior. YLF is a wonderful start - there are so many people on this forum that you just can't explain away compliments as "pity" or "accidents" as I was wont to do; instead you start to realize that the internalized feelings of ugliness were not based on reality.

I hope you can find a similar support group, whether it be here, Already Pretty, or anywhere. Big hugs to you!

14 years ago

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