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Always something more to want

ironkurtin

Veteran

I'm trying not to buy the things in my previous post. Trying to go through my closet and assess what I *need,* not just want.

But it's so hard to turn off the want. I'm so intrigued by the possibilities of what I see! Do I have an emotional complex or something?! Did my mother not love me enough? Am I trying to fill an endless pit of unfulfilled ambition with... things? Am I so trivial and shallow that I must constantly be stimulated by "new"? It's like I'm Madame Bovary online!

Any insights?

Shopping

14 replies

Latest reply was from Lisa

Vildy

Veteran

I think most wants come in through the eyes.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Totally agree with Vildy - I don't want what I don't see. That's why I cancelled all flyers in my mailbox and all store emails to my inbox. Dangerous and tantalizing devils they are...

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Agreed - stop window shopping online and you're likely to not have as big a desire. Give it a week . . . if you find that hard to do, maybe look into why a bit.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I am online 8 hours a day at my job and this is not a realistic approach, I'm afraid. Meditation maybe?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Virtually shop for others? Spend your time with a digital wardrobe catalog designing new outfits with your own clothes? God knows, it sure takes up time!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I usually bookmark what I like online, then not look at it for a week.

I avoid browsing when I am very tired :p

Vildy

Veteran

One thing that helps me a lot is the idea - maybe picked up from Man Repeller -
not to fall in love with a jpeg.

You know, it's like old time radio dramas. The listener has to bring a lot of imagination
to it. You visualize what they ideally look like, how they move, what the sets are like.
Some of the same with books. Very different from movies where they provide so much
information that they have to utilize all kinds of editing, music strategies to get you to suspend disbelief.

So when you see things online, you have an idea of it in two dimensions in the color scheme your monitor depicts and that's all. You supply the rest. The more you supply, the deeper you are hooked in. Also, when products are shown on people who look like you in any way, you are supposed to be more favorable to them.

Another thing is that women often want "help", or reliability in order to manage everything they want to keep going. So maybe examine some of your automatic thoughts toward the alluring products to see if they solve some problems for you.
"If I get this, I'll be able to..."

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Haha IK, I certainly can sympathize! I have tried so many times to be on SYC since Jan and it's totally ridiculous how lame I am! I did unsubscribe to all the store emails and sample sales. And this is partly why I am trying not to look at too many fashion blogs either. I think for me, seeing stuff here on YLF that Angie recommends or that other people look fab in is the most tempting. There's always a new wardrobe hole to fill!

I am going to try harder to focus on wardrobe remixing and maybe get into Stylebook. I have to say though, shopping for others is dangerous! Once Sveta was looking for a handbag so I posted about a Kate Spade sample sale and ended up getting one for myself (the grey croc tote). And recently machanteuse (Lori) was asking for dress recommendations so I posted several and ended up getting one for myself (the Tahari Asian-inspired one). I don't think I'd be a good stylist because I'd end up getting all the stuff for myself too! ;P

catgirl

Veteran

I totally relate. I think for me it is part of being obsessive in general. It really helps when I'm not looking around. Also I thrift as a cheap fix - sometimes I just feel this urge to hunt and gather... I'm also easily influenced, although less so as I've been getting positive reinforcement of my own style here.

Now I'm more inclined to narrow things down instead of jumping on every bandwagon. The purple Docs, for example, are very me. However, I also felt compelled by the Frye Julias after seeing them on Rae, but restrained myself because I could not see wearing them as many ways as Rae could! Often if I force myself to wait, the burning urge to seize an item passes on and a new crush arrives.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

What helped me was not to browse online stores for one month while I was at work. It was very hard. Now I've changed to not order anything until I get home. It at least gives me a few hours to think about it.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Well, I pawed through my summer wardrobe and I don't really burningly NEED anything, except possibly another pair of lightweight pants. Thinking about these - they're linen, with a bit of shimmer just for fun. Too much?

And for the linen haters, I don't mind wrinkles.

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Mo

(website)

Veteran

I love linen especially in hot humid climes. But are you filling the need to shop more than filling a wardrobe hole that's a few months away? Just asking to see if you are being honest with yourself as to your motivation.
I know I keep visiting a replacement cobalt blue top. It is a hole of sorts for me, but I won't really need it for at least 3 more months. So I'm really trying to just leave it alone. With the mantra that there will be other cobalt tops if this one sells out. It's hard. I know.
I like these pants, and I liked the zip back ones you showed the other day.

ironkurtin

Veteran

That's a good question, Mo. I'm sitting on these for now.

The issue with linen pants is that nice ones (IMO) are really few and far between. I like slim cuts and not wide-legs, and they can't be too cropped. So when I see a pair in a cut and color I like, I am very tempted.

Lisa

Veteran

For wants vs needs, I have been collecting images of things I want, and then I try to recreate the outfits if I have similar pieces at home. Or if it is a stand alone piece, I try to find something in my closet that is it's cousin and wear that the very next day. (ie. I'm really eyeballing the bright blazers and patterend blazers in stores right now, so today I grabbed on of my blazers and wore it with a patterend top, maybe not the same thing as a patterend blazer, but a similar vibe of wearing a blazer and patterns together.)

As for linen pants, I adore linen for warmer months so I am not help there, just an enabler.