Bullet points.

• My mother had her repeat cognitive testing in mid-December and it did not go well. The neurologist faxed me her scores. I told my dad I had them and - curiously - he said nothing about it. Didn't ask for a time to discuss with one or both of them, just crickets. My sense: he can't face it.

• After six months, they gave up the idea that Mom could learn a smart phone and traded for a Jitterbug Flip 2. Which they are now struggling with - oy. My mother keeps turning it off when she just means to end a call, then my dad insists the phone is doing it on its own.

• They both believe that all of their old friends are dead, without actually checking. Several times I have googled around and found addresses and phone numbers for them of people who are - surprise surprise! - alive and well and often older than my parents.

• My mother turned over the checkbook to my father for his exclusive use, after she wrote multiple checks to charities they already auto-support. She seemed relieved to have done with it. (It was not my dad who took it away but I who asked her if she could just give the checkbook to Dad and then coached her down the hall to actually do it before she forgot. WHY did he not take it away - because he lives in fear of getting her mad.)

• They make it clear that their dog is more important than any person in their lives. In an odd way, I understand this - the dog never embarrassed them in front of their church by getting divorced - but at the same time they have made no decisions about care for the beloved one if they can no longer care for a 70-pound dog with hip problems.