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advice on a reward?

Mochi

Veteran

Hello, all. Long story short, I carelessly left some Bose headphones in their case by the baggage carousel after we returned from our vacation last week. We wrote them off as a loss, but miraculously someone did find them and mailed them back to hubby (he'd included business cards inside the case, very smart). The nice person included his name and address in the package. I googled and he is CEO of a corporate travel company in the midwest. I am really grateful to him.

What would you advise we do as a reward? I don't want to insult him. Hubby suggested a gift card to Starbucks (since he seems to pass through airports frequently). Many people like me hate Starbucks coffee, but would that do? How much for? Shipping itself could have surpassed $10, so I'm thinking something around $30? Or just a nice thank you note? I have no idea what to do. Thank you for your wise suggestions.

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33 replies

Latest reply was from Carla

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I think the Starbucks card is a great idea, along with a note. I'm not really a fan and got one once. Used it to get chocolate covered coffee beans. Mmmm. (I wouldn't go as high as $30 myself. Under 20 seems like a good thank you without getting into more uncomfortable ideas of compensation and such)

Mochi

Veteran

Thanks, Mo. Maybe you're right--covering his mailing costs with just a little extra to show our appreciation.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I'm with Mo. I think under $20 is good. And Starbucks has teas, waters, and fruit beverages... and cake pops. Mmmm..... cake pops.... So there are other options to be enjoyed

Gaylene

Veteran

I agree with Mo that the thank-you note is the real "reward" for the person who found your headphones. The Starbucks card is just a token to enclose with a "Please let me pay for your next coffee to show my appreciation" kind of comment; staying under $20 (around the cost of the shipping) keeps it in that category. What the person does with the card is his business...

I know I'd feel odd if someone insisted on giving me a monetary reward for something I did because I felt it was the right thing to do. But showing your appreciation by sending me a thank-you note would be a nice gesture.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I think I will go against the tide and suggest the $30 - those headphones weren't cheap; I gave a reward of $200 for the person who returned my iPad (around $600 to replace) - mostly because I was relieved!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am with the $20 to $25 club -- but the thank you note is the most important thing!

And wow - what a nice story.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I think the card is appropriate, and I would send a $20-$25 gift card.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I like the gift card idea. $20 is a nice amount for a thank you. How great that he sent them to you! Nice to know this still happens in this day and age. I am now going to make sure I put my husband's name and contact info in his headphone case because he leaves stuff on planes. All. The. Time!

Mochi

Veteran

Yes, I've had stuff returned to me much more often than not.

Janet, how do you get the stuff back then without ID? Or am I asking a touchy question In this case it was all my fault. I felt so careless. And I just assumed, Boston, forget it. But even in New York I've had my faith in humanity restored.

Thanks, again, everyone. lyn*, you sure do make an excellent point, too. I'm grateful to this person. He will rack up some good karma

minimalist

Veteran

Which model headphones? Mine are the 15s, and were a present from bf, so if you returned them to me, $50 is the least I'd send, on top of your shipping costs. Compared to what replacing them would cost me, plus the horrible feeling of having misplaced something of that value ...why skimp? I can think of several arguments against sending a cash reward, though.

What Gaylene said about a token of appreciation is at least equally valid, so a Starbucks card for $20 would cover postage; he'd likely give it to the assistant who sent them to you.

More importantly than either of those is what Suz said: a hand-written thank-you note.

Glad you have them back!

Anonymous

I agree with lyn*. Thirty dollars for the win! He can always regift if he chooses.

Archer

Veteran

Hi Mochie- it's hard for people from different contexts on these. I would say, without doubt, just a lovely card. I can see the dilemma is because I hope, like you do that we all just want the world to be grateful and kind and more altruistic. But it's hard to know which actions lead to this end if it could be based on ever so finely balanced social nuance. I'd like to hear what you do after all and why you chose that way. Pretty sure you will find your own best way....

Debra

Veteran

What a great story I think a thank you note, and enough to cover postage and buy a coffee is perfect. He is obviously a good person and returned them to you because it was the right thing to do. He just needs to know you appreciated his thoughtfulness.

Claudia

Veteran

I'm in the $30 club, or at least the $20-$25. Of course the handwritten thank you note is most important, but the gift card is a very nice token of his efforts and your appreciation and the airport Starbucks idea shows some thoughtfulness on your part.

donnat

Veteran

Definately in the $20.00 to $25.00 club. What a nice,honest person.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

The reason I would not do $30 is that it might be going beyond the 'covering one's cost and thanking with a fancy coffee' limit. This man is a CEO of a company, money is not hard for him to come by probably. It is ALL about the thought behind it here, in my mind.

MsMary

Veteran

I'd say $20. Enough to pay for his mailing costs, rounded up by the price of a cup of coffee or a magazine. You want to avoid any suggestion that you are, in fact, giving him a "reward." I would even phrase it that way in the note -- "here's twenty bucks to cover postage and a coffee at the airport."

Debbie

Veteran

I think a $20 gift card and a note is great. It was a very nice thing to do.

Claudia

Veteran

I just don't understand how a thank you card and gift equates to a "reward." Someone was kind enough to make the effort to personally ensure you received a lost item back. After all he could have just dropped them off at airport lost or found, or left them with a security guard near the luggage and been on his way without a second thought after hoping that you'd get it.

I also don't think a person's job title or the assumption of whether they can afford something or not should have any bearing as far as the gift card amount at all.

Gaylene

Veteran

I'm finding the responses on this thread fascinating, Mochi, and can now see why you wanted to ask the question. I'll admit that my first reaction was that the concept of giving someone a substantial "reward" for behaving graciously seemed a bit odd. To me, a heartfelt thank you still seems like the most appropriate response, but I think I now can see why a young woman who I drove to the emergency room after she fell on an icy sidewalk offered me $40 "for my trouble". I refused her offer, but felt disturbed by the sight of the two twenty dollar bills in her outstretched hand because I'd hope that she would have done the same for me if our roles had been reversed. The money seemed to turn my desire to help someone into a commercial, profit-driven action--sort of like a taxi service.

Is it now common to give people money as a "reward" for small acts of kindness? Does the value of the item returned to its rightful owner influence the amount of "reward"? If I'm relatively well off, should I still take the $40 from a young student as my rightful compensation? The thread has given me a lot to think about...

Claudia

Veteran

I would be put off/disturbed and refuse a cash gift for directly helping someone like the injured person as you did Gaylene, but would you feel any different if the young woman found out who you were and sent you a thank you card and floral arrangement or a pretty scarf after the fact? Somehow the latter is acceptable and gracious -- and different than "rewarding" or paying someone off for their small acts of kindness.

If someone at the airport ran after me to hand me back my forgotten property I would warmly thank them, not hand them cash. But if what happened to Mochi happened to me, I would want to send a card and an appropriate gift. To me, for the return of an expensive electronics type thingy like the headphones, which are prime targets for theft, I sure would want to show my appreciation with a nice gift and card.

Mochi

Veteran

Thanks for all your compelling thoughts on this. I went to Starbucks and bought a pack of five gift cards, and programmed in values of $5 for each. So if the gentleman wants to keep any or all of them, or gift some of them, there's some flexibility. Of course I'll go out and buy a card tomorrow too, and write him a nice thank you note. To me this feels like a decent response. Plus, I'll try to pay it forward somehow, probably by donating some toys to my friend's company gift drive or something like that.

It's fascinating how fraught these things can be! And we're not even dealing with intercultural issues. Japanese people, for example, have coded/calibrated appropriate behavior around gift-giving, but it's complicated here too.

carter

Veteran

In addition to a handwritten thank you note and whatever else you decide to send, I would check his company website to see if there's a place for testimonials. Even though this is personal rather than about the company, a comment on the top guy's integrity can be a great thank you.

The other thing I would suggest is that rather than send the guy a "reward", send that money to some (local for him) charity on his behalf as a "pay it forward". If it were me, I would appreciate this more than a reward.

carter

Veteran

Mochi, cross-posted on the pay it forward idea. I like it.

Anonymous

A thank you note will suffice. I would personally feel insulted if I found some monetary retribution attached to my good deed. When I do something good for someone, my payback is the joy of have altered someone's life in a positive way. Not everything needs to be paid back in kínd. Pay it forward by doing something good for someone. It is not like you wrote on the case " If found, please mail for a monetary award", you know? lol. CEO or not, I think he would have probably spelled it out if he wanted his shipping money back. If you feel weird, I would add something on the note, along the lines of " I would like to reimburse you for shipping, would that be okay?"
I am glad you got your stuff back.

Mochi

Veteran

Wow, I did ask for everyone's thoughts and now I'm stymied! I think I will still send him the Starbucks gift cards (which are nice, easy things to regift if he wants) and mention in the note that I'd like to send a toy donation in his or his company's name to a friend's toy drive.

It's so complicated! But thanks, and I'm finding the different thought processes absolutely fascinating.

Anonymous

Mochi, I think you had hit on just the right solution. Lovely handwritten note + gift cards. I wouldn't make him respond to me about a donation. He's already gone out of his way.

You are thoughtful and generous. Rock on!

Anonymous

Ack, no need to feel stumped. I think the Starbucks cards are a great idea. You put thought in to this because you care.

Archer

Veteran

Of course there is always taking the giving of rewards to people for acts of common humanity and seeing how as a practice it actually leads to the decrease of this kind of behaviour. Eventually what we encourage proliferates. i.e. How many rewards did you collect on today?

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