How frustrating! I haven't had this issue near me, but most of what I consign is gear or kid clothes (and I think the bar for wear-and-tear, and also what's "in style" in these categories is significantly lower), and the occasional mistake purchase (usually final sale stuff, new with tags).
If you have the space, putting things up on eBay or Poshmark may actually be less of a headache than jumping through the consignment shop's hoops. Also, you have to decide how much your time is worth, because the returns on most consignments are pretty small -- I think for a lot of people it just isn't worth the work, so they'd rather donate and support a good cause.
It does bother me, actually, that a lot of consignment shops seem to be focusing on merchandise that is only from the last season or last year. Part of the reason I like to shop secondhand is because the quality on older goods is often better, or because I'm looking for a colour or silhouette I can't find at retail. A lot of consignment shops are starting to look a bit like TJMaxx or Ross, if you ask me -- just discounted fast-fashion, last season's cast-offs, etc. I get that it's all part of the accelerated retail cycle; people buy more frequently and discard more frequently, and it's reflected at every level of the fashion market...