AAARRRRGH nothing FITS! - YouLookFab Forum

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AAARRRRGH nothing FITS!

ironkurtin

Veteran

I posted earlier about losing weight and how it was sortof messing with my head and my ideas of my own body. Well, triple that! It's finally cool enough here now to wear my jeans. I own lots of jeans. I spend $ on my jeans. NONE of them fit correctly now!

Not only that, I feel like I'm losing my grip on how to put my stuff together. My outfits seem either all too big, or all too tight. How too tight? Well, yesterday I went to the movies wearing jeans like the below (in dark green) and a denim shirt *that didn't utterly cover my behind.* My husband kept telling me I looked fine, that we were "just going to see a movie, sheesh." But I felt a little bit trashy and not in a good way. Why didn't I just change? All my tunics now look like tents on me, and this is what I had. (I know some kind soul will tell me to belt my tops, but I don't belt; I have never liked how that looks, since I don't have a waist and all that extra fabric and stuff there... ugh.)

Man, why is this less fun than I thought it would be?!

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Dressing

22 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Parsley

Veteran

I guess there is a downside of losing weight and getting in shape, but I'd love to have that problem...

It sounds like you're going to need to rethink your wardrobe a bit to work with your new body. Yeah, it's work, but you'll look so good!

Can you take in some of your tunic tops?

Thistle

Veteran

Change can be difficult, even if it is good change.

Love your new healthier body, be patient with yourself and with it, and let the great folks at YLF help you relearn to dress yourself!

MsMary

Veteran

*whispering* Could it possibly be that you are looking for a reason to put the weight back on?

No? Well, then, get out there and shop! When I lost my weight it was a little disconcerting to lose some favorites, but the thing that more than made up for it was the fact that for the first time, almost everything I tried on looked pretty good!

And maybe spend some time thinking about how you WANT to look?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

It's inevitable that you need new clothes when you loose a lot of weight. Shop! You love to shop :). Help me understand what is upsetting you, Dana.

Also, did you buy those skinnies too small? How are they too tight for your new body?

ironkurtin

Veteran

Thistle - I think I do know how to dress myself. I just don't have the items now and am facing a whole big closet of nonfitting items!

MaryK - Ha! No, I don't want the weight back. I really like my new lifestyle a lot, including what I am eating. I don't miss my old body one tiny bit.

Angie - I guess I am just bummed that all the effort, not to mention the mucho money, that I put into clothing I loved is burnt. My husband is not supportive of more shopping and more money spent. (He actually said, "Get some overalls. They're adjustable!" and "I have duct tape!") So I have a mountain of clothes to move out, and the thought of another one moving in. Just. SUCKS.

My skinnies fit the way they are supposed to, I think. Except for being a bit too loose in the waist, which I am used to. I am not used to wearing something so formfitting without a looser item on top. I am concerned I looked skanky.

Jem

Veteran

I like Mary'K's advice. Maybe go try on some new clothes and see how you feel in those? It is frustrating to not be able to find anything to wear in your closet!

MsMary

Veteran

Can you consign or eBay any of your too-big clothes?

shiny

Veteran

Weight loss does mess with your head, and it can take a very long time for your brain to catch up. Please realize that, for awhile, you will be seeing a very different person in the mirror than everyone else is seeing.

I found it very helpful to apply two tactics, to speed this process along:

1) Shopping A LOT. Even if I didn't buy anything, the process of trying on clothes in various sizes and looking at myself in the mirror in the clothes with smaller size labels helped jolt my brain along.

2) Find a few trusted friends who will not lie to you. (Your hubby may or may not be one of these people). Have them point out women who are the same size and shape as you. At first, you will not believe them at all, because your brain has yet to catch up and you're still thinking and seeing yourself at your larger size. Eventually, it'll start clicking in that yes you are thinner -- like that woman right there -- and she is wearing a top that does not cover her butt completely and looks quite smashing in it. Not only that... but she's belting!

Re: the belting. I am only now accepting that yes, I really can belt, and yes, I really can tuck shirts in. Even into skinny jeans!! I hope soon to post some WiW proof. When I first adopted skinny jeans I would only ever wear them with a tunic or voluminous top, something long enough to hide hips/rear. I am beginning to realize I do not have to. I can tuck. Wow. But it's taken THIS LONG.

Prudence

One resource: http://www.alreadypretty.com/?s=weight+loss

Sally at already pretty.com has really great wisdom about dealing with a changing shape with love. This link is a guest post, but is the most recent one on the topic and a good introduction to the site.

Just remember, you are still the best of you.... even when the outside changes around.

ironkurtin

Veteran

MaryK - That's the plan. But you should see Mt. eBay piling up in my office. I am tired just looking at it.

Shiny - Thanks, that helps! But trust me, a cinching belt is not going to work on my frame. Not because I am heavy, just because it doesn't work on my body - there's not enough natural difference between my waist and my hips.

shiny

Veteran

Duct tape fixes everything! Your hubby is so cute.

siniestra

yard sale, flea markets or consigment stores your clothes or do a swapping party ...with the money u get you can start again sometimes i go to yardsales and flea markets i find a lots of clothes brand new with designer names and for a small fraction also im a sale savy lol ( name my self like that) cuz i get clothes that actually were 30 or more and i get it or 7 and really pretty you just have to be pacient shopping and you will score

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Ah! Now I understand. Thanks for explaining, Dana. It's hard to say goodbye to old faves because they don't fit anymore - to Mary's point.

Sweet lady. You need clothes that fit! Rebuild your wardrobe over time and try to have fun in the process. It took Mary years to rebuild hers after dropping many sizes. I am sure that hubs will understand if you go about this process methodically and logically without breaking the bank. Perhaps start off with getting a tunic that you can wear with the new jeans.

The bright side! At least all your boots and sandals still fit

ElleH

Veteran

Dana congrats on your new bod! Jeans are not leggings & don't need a longer top but if you're not comfortable with them uncovered you could get a couple of cheap tunics for now until you sell your old clothes. I know it's time consuming to do eBay so maybe try consigning & then ebay the rest.

Can any of your larger jeans be worn as the slouchy skinny Angie posted about or a BF jean? Then you won't feel skanky. I don't find skinny jeans skanky. But I do find lots of cleavage skanky so each to their own.

Ariadne

Veteran

Aw, IK, even though I'm a bit envious because you're further along this weight loss path than I am, I totally get what you're saying. Sometimes I look in my closet and think "wow, I will be sad when this doesn't fit anymore" and worry about how I'll manage to replace my clothes. I think my strategy will be to purchase an ultra-minimalist mix-and-match capsule wardrobe, and then slowly build out from there. Something like 2 dresses, 1 pair skinny jeans, a ponte pencil skirt, 2-4 blouses and tunics, a jacket, a cardi, a couple of layering tees, and a pair of tights. Mix in your existing accessories and shoes. I personally would probably start off with the dresses and a cardi and jacket to top them off with, because I find dresses easier to fit and a little more forgiving (just in case your shape shifts a bit more, as some of the women in the transitional weight loss wardrobe advice thread I posted said happened to them).

Would your DH be OK with you buying 4-6 items that are mixable and fit really well, just to get you situated, and then go from there, adding a couple of pieces a month as your budget allows? Would you be OK wearing the same few great pieces over and over while slowly building your new dream wardrobe?

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I am having difficulty but for the opposite reason - weight gain! I'm distraught over favorites I can't fit into (esp. as the weather cools and I pull out old favorite winter clothes and coats). And, in my case, I feel guilty because I ought to lose the weight; it's not healthy and it's within my control. My head is a complete mess about it.

All that to say, I think it's interesting that any signifiant weight loss or gain does this to us if we've been satisfied with our wardrobe.

Unless you plan to gain it back (and please don't rule that possibility out - knock on wood - life happens) you'll need to make new favorites. You are going to have to shop within reason. If your ability to do so is limited then make each item count and buy what you really love or need!

One thing I've done is to "loan" out the items I can't bare to part with to family and friends who fit them - with the contingency that I may need them back and they are NOT to pass them on or git rid of them without my permission!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Jenava, I've done the 'loan' thing too! With suede pants actually, twice now. One pair too big the other too small. How funny. Having our favorites not fit anymore, not so funny

Deborah

Veteran

No advice but I feel your pain. I admire you having the discipline to loose the weight and get fit and healthy. The clothing thing is just part of the process and I know you will work through it... sucessfully:)

April

Veteran

You've gotten some good advice, IK, and I'm also wondering if you could find a couple of favorite pieces that are worth altering to your new size?

rae

(website)

Veteran

Years ago, my sister was putting on lots of muscle for sports, while I was losing my muscle after quitting sports. We didn't have the same taste in everything, but we were able to swap a lot of basics. Maybe you can find someone to trade with, so that your wallet (and DH, heh) don't feel the strain too much? The emotional strain of losing favorites is much tougher, I know. :T

Janet

(website)

Veteran

IK, I understand as I had some similar changes last year and spent a small fortune replacing most of my wardrobe. (Dog help me if I end up losing another 10 lbs and have to go down another size!)

But I'd like to suggest you spend some time letting your eye adjust. I seriously doubt you look "trashy" with slim jeans and a shirt that doesn't cover the tush. Seriously, if I can pull that off with my ample thighs, I'm betting it looks even better on you! I am wearing things now, months after getting used to a new shape, that I did not think I could wear when the weight loss was brand new.

Have patience and try things out. Take a couple of favorite pieces in for tailoring -- I think it's worth it. And celebrate the new, healthier, stronger you!

rachylou

Veteran

Losing weight can be upsetting. No one mentions it. My closet had me in tears when I dropped to 120 lbs - of course, this was not the positive kind of weight loss, but the you've-lost-all-your-insulin-producing-cells kind. Anyways, though, my clothes were falling off. I had to hold onto my waistband to keep my pants up to go to the mailbox. It was a struggle - pants in one hand, mail in the other, no hands left to open the door with.

My mom, bless her soul, went out and got me some things to wear so I could go out. But it was a total closet reboot and a huge under taking.

...Anyways, a good time to experiment with the minimalist wardrobe... because that's what happens.