A vent: wearing jeans for business casual

I worked a conference this week. Dress code was business casual. The venue was freezing cold - the thermostats were set to 40 degrees! After two days of freezing my butt off in dress slacks, on the last day, I decided to wear my dressiest, dark wash, COH trouser jeans. I figured -

1) Our executives were wearing dark-wash jeans (with suit jacket and dress shirt), so if they could do it, I could do it.

2) Angie has said that when done right, dress jeans can be dressier than dress slacks.

3) The attendees (our customers) were wearing a variety of clothes, from casual to smart casual - nobody was wearing formal suits.

I paired my jeans with round-toe patent red pumps, silk top, a sharp blazer, chunky pearls, and my nicest professional quality hand bag.

I walked into the conference and a colleague, who I was working with all week, gasped in horror! She proceeded to admonish me for my attire, saying that jeans were a huge no-no when meeting with customers. I do not have nice things to say about this coworker, as she spent the entire conference making passive aggressive remarks to me even before this moment. My heart sunk, and I felt horribly awkward and embarrassed....

I offered to go back home and change and return in an hour, and she said no way... I would just have to suffer the consequences for the rest of the day, when our bosses and show manager saw me, etc....

But here's the thing: she was technically dressed according to a business casual code, but I looked way more dressy and snappy. I don't mean this to sound arrogant - I think you will all understand exactly what I mean by that. Her outfit was comparatively boring, uninspired, and bordering even on frumpy and dowdy.

Outcome? Not one person, other than this coworker, commented on my attire - other than to compliment it. Nobody noticed I was wearing jeans. The show manager complimented my blazer. As the day wore on, and I realized I looked just fine to everyone else, I regained my confidence.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading!

15 years ago

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

Oh goodness. In business casual settings, dressy trouser jeans are totally appropriate. Some people just can't get over the jeans = casual physical labor type clothing.
Oh well, I'm sure you looked stunning and fabulous. Maybe the lack of other comments didn't go unnoticed with her?

morethanbeige

Oh, Shiny, thank you so much for that story. I'm sorry she made you feel awkward. That has happened to me too. Then I just think, maybe that person is having a really bad day and try not to let it disturb mine.

Kristen

Oh, that person has a lot of motivations and issues going on, and none of them have anything to do with the fabric of your pants. If you know what I mean.

Glad you realized that before the whole day was ruined! I am sure you looked fantastic and professional. Clearly no one else had a problem with it!

Louise

Sounds to me like a case of the green eyed monster and a bit of jealousy that she hadn't worn jeans too. There sounds like absolutely no case for her to comment on your attire if others where wearing jeans too x

Rosie

I completely agree with the ladies above! It sounds like you looked absolutely stunning and appropriately dressed. This was allll her issues, not your outfit at all.

I'm glad you received compliments and came out feeling lovely.

Did you go to the Baseball game?

Anonymous

Shiny there is no doubt that you have beautiful style and know how to dress. This other gal was picking on you for some reason, probably her own insecurities. I can't think of any worse thing to do than admonish someone for their appearance, just as they are going to go on with the job. She's got some issues to deal with. I hope you don't have to work with her again.

You sound like you were appropriate for the conference. As Kristen said, she must have her own demons to fight that had nothing to do with denim. Could she have been responsible for the temperature setting?

Angie

Fashion Stylist

I have NO DOUBT that you were one of the most stylish people at that conference in your jeans ensemble, Shiny. You have my full support with your decision to wear jeans because I know you'd have pulled together a killer outfit. AND, we can't function when we are freezing so honestly - your decision to wear jeans was in the interest of your company.

Unfortunately, your co-worker has larger issues she needs to grapple with. You were a scapegoat and that's awful. Sorry that you were left feeling bad. But chin up! You may even have set a trend :0)

Scarlet

Frankly, it sounds like you looked smashing, and beyond that I echo what everyone else said about jealousy.

Maya

If I were you I would be thrilled! Someone was actually jealous enough of how amazing you looked to try and drag you down. What an honor

On a separate note, am I understanding correctly that this is just a co-worker, as in someone of equal or lesser authority than you? Not a boss or supervisor? Maybe it's just because I am so junior level, but I can't imagine shaming/scolding someone I work with regardless of what I was thinking! It's the supervisor's job to bring it up (and hopefully they would do a more tactful job). That sounds beyond unprofessional.

JennyK (NC)

Active Member

I've seen enough of your outfits to have no doubt that you were one of the best-dressed people there. I'm sorry the co-worker made you feel awkward, but glad you were able to build your confidence back up as the day went on.

I was having a conversation with a couple of my coworkers just a couple of days ago about this very thing. Why would dark-wash denim trousers, a smart blouse, a blazer and nice accessories not hold up to any dress code when backless slippers, elastic-waist pants and a mou-mou would? argh!

Lisa

I also agree that this was probably a case of jealousy. Your outfit sounds fine to me and I bet it looked darn good in person too. Glad it didn't bring down your whole day. I would only worry about a dress code comment if it were from a superior or HR.

shiny

I knew you'd all understand! Hugs all around.

San, that was exactly my thought as well - how awful that she admonished me right as I was about to do my job. It was apparent that it was deliberate, intended to knock me down a notch and off my game. She had been doing this to me the whole time, in more subtle ways, but I kept telling myself I was only imagining. It is true I was feeling insecure, as it was the first time meeting my team, since I work remotely.

But, I did not let her get to me! Other than this one coworker, the rest of the conference went quite well.

Why did she do it... I don't know. It may have been jealousy, or her own insecurity. It was weird because the first day she and I hit it off great. Something changed overnight... and it was like a deliberate campaign after that. Very odd.

Maya, she is an exec admin, and I am a manager. Just a mid-level manager at the moment - individual contributor, don't have any direct reports at this time. So technically I am her superior but I hate that term. The reality is that exec admins have a lot of power and influence in our organization. It's very important to get along with them and have good working relationship, because they hold the key to accessing executives, and can make your job difficult if they want to.

She works for our VP, who I met for the first time and really admired. He is amazing. I had done a project for him this past month, and he gave me the most genuine compliment for it. I was glowing! He is just the nicest guy - does not act above everyone, if you know what I mean. This VP also has an exec comm, who just joined the company, and she's taking a liking to me, because I've helped her a lot to get up to speed and make the right connections. So it is quite possible this is where the jealousy was coming from.

kaycee

I would strongly suspect that you are 100% correct about the source of your colleague's jealousy. It is possible that your VP actually made complimentary remarks to the colleague about you and that has changed her attitude.
I feel so badly for you that her thoughtless comments (or probably NOT so thoughtless...seems like a deliberate attempt to sabotage your day) ruined the start of your day. Your outfit sounds stunning (and perfectly appropriate) and wish I could have seen pics!

Kristine

That's awful! I don't think she should have said a word unless you asked her opinion. It sounds like your outfit was perfectly appropriate and stylish. Next time don't offer to go back and change, just say "nonsense" and ask her to get you a cup of coffee.

chewyspaghetti

I am just so over people sticking their noses where they don't belong. You are a bigger woman than I am Jennifer, because I would have read her the riot act!

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