Take care! I'm sorry you are going through this.

Kari, big hugs, I'm sorry things are so rough. Please take care of yourself and get in to see the doctor right away. Or at least call and see if they can get something called in for you for the anxiety. I agree with everyone else--mental health is just as important to take care of as a cut or broken bone. Hope things look up for you soon!

Hugs Kari! Please make yourself a priority, no matter how hectic work is. When you're in the middle of it, it seems impossible but it is essential!!!

Kari, either you wrangle for an appointment or get a family member to wrangle. But get to a doctor. Like others have said, if these were heart attack symptoms, you would not fool around with them.

Is there a weekend clinic that you can go to as a walk-in as a stop gap ? And if your family's doctor can't take you, get a local referral from them. Please do it, Kari !

In the meantime, please call the National Mental Health Crisis Line at
Call 1-800-273-TALK
They can help you find a doctor in your area and give you advice on what to do and just listen. They also have a website called Mental Health America with a tab on finding help.

www.mentalhealthamerica.net

Sorry to hear that you are feeling like this.
Although there has been good changes in your life there was a lot of commotion involved and with the winter months that are not particularly sunny it is normal that you feel the after effect.

I would also recommend going to the doctor ASAP.

Big hugs to you.

So, so sorry to hear how awful you are feeling Kari. To feel like you just want to switch off all that is going on and just sleep is something I have felt myself over the years and it's not fun. I hope you can get some treatment sorted soon, be it medical or alternate. (((hugs))) to you. And you know where to find us all on YLF if you need some company.

Kari, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling out of control. I have often thought of you and wondered how you were doing and hoped that you had found a great new job and were happy.

We all have trouble at times and a lot of major change can make it feel so much worse. I know others have already said it, but please make sure you get to see a doctor for help and take care of yourself.

It will get better. This is just a blip and you will feel much stronger when you get through it.

((hugs))

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. Please use your friends and/or family to help you get an appointment with a doctor and therapist. This is not the time to do everything yourself. Your health, mental and physical, is very important.

Thank you for posting, Kari. We do want to hear from you. I'm so sorry to hear how overwhelmed you are. Praying for you.

Well, I got an appt. with new, local doctor. It's a couple weeks out but I know I can make an emergency visit with my normal doctor if I really need urgent care, and have hotlines booked into my phone so that if I need to talk ASAP I have a resource in my hand. It feels a bit better knowing there's a safety net in case I crash.
Talked with another colleague who's feeling much the same way. Love the job, but oh boy, it has been such a crazy busy season. It's starting to slow down gradually. This also tends to be the worst season for my seasonal depression to strike due to the lack of daylight, and working long hours in a windowless room has exacerbated that, even though I use a SAD lamp for light therapy. Today is a rare, sunny day so I'm sitting by the window to eat lunch. Every little bit helps.

Thank you for your kind, caring words. You have no idea what it means not to feel alone.

YAY !!! I am so glad that you have a plan in place.

Kari, I'm so glad to hear that.
Here's hoping that things settle down soon and you feel much better.

I am sooo glad you got in to see the new doctor. Just knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel can help. And I am glad you have the help lines. It is good to know that you have a safety net.

Know that we are here for you. And those long Seattle winters can be brutal. The complete lack of sunlight for weeks on end is so hard. Glad you have the light therapy, and yeah for a sunny day!

So glad you have appointments and a safety net. My experience supports Angie's wisdom that often, having plans in place makes a difference in and of itself. It doesn't fix the issues but it gives me a little boost to push through to the next step, and it makes me feel competent. I hope the same is true for you.

PS This thread is a great example of what makes YLF such a special place. There is tons of wisdom, understanding, empathy and excellent advice here, and not a single cruel or snarky word. This community is a true jewel.

Hooray! Kari, I'm so glad to hear you've start getting sorted out. Wasn't the light wonderful today?
xo,
Jenava

Ariadne, I couldn't agree with you more. The support and generosity truly bring tears to my eyes. It helps so much to know I am not alone.

I am feeling like the couple hours extra sleep last night, the routine of going to work today, comparing notes on progress of the things I've been stressed about with coworkers and realizing we are all in the same boat, and having backup plans in place have helped a ton. I feel like I can start to find my footing knowing that help and rest are coming.

I also try to remind myself that, unlike my last job where I was busy all the time year round, this business has a very definite peak season that is predictable. It will get lighter and I don't have to work as much as I've been doing for the past several months, and I work within a team that shares our load evenly rather than delegating responsibility to one single person. I still panic sometimes because I'm so accustomed to having to do everything alone.

So glad!

So glad you have something in place, sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is helpful in itself. Can you nip out during the work day to get a bit of fresh air? I have big windows in my classroom but still 'need' some fresh air, so I often pull on my coat and pop out to play in the sand tray with the kids. I feel so much better for a few minutes outside. Smokers get ciggy breaks outside so why not the rest of us get fresh air breaks x

Kari, I am glad you have an appointment, the first step to feeling better soon.

I haven't read everyone's responses yet but wanted to chime in as someone who is also dealing with simular issues. Yes, get thee to a doctor soon BUT I get that its also a stresser to go to a doctor...especially a new one. I always avoided going to the doctor because I was afraid of breaking down. But put that aside and do the following. Easy and you can do it RIGHT NOW.

Deep breathing. Deep breaths right down to the base of your spine. Go for a long walk (and breathe deeply while you walk). Walk with long steps and arms swinging. And breathe. Keep walking until you feel those good post-exercise feelings you get after working out. Increase your intake of Vitamin D....soothes the nerves especially at this time of year. Eat some good food.

And the second part of this process: acknowledge to yourself that you have been through hell. But that part of your life is over and you are ready to move forward. Its OK to acknowledge that you are messed up over that experience. Its OK to be a mess! Don't fight your emotions. They are valid and you are messed up for a very valid reason. Don't try and ignore those feelings. Its all OK. You are in a PTSD phase right now...and that's OK. Don't fight it. Acknowledge it. Feel confident that you are working through a process and this is all part of that process. And that's OK.

I have a lot more stuff you can do but these little things have really helped me get through some tough days. Yes going to the doctor will help but you can do stuff yourself to take control of the situation. Good luck...it's all going to be fine

Hi Kari, I just wanted to chime in and say I am thinking good thoughts for sweet, loveable you. I'm glad you have help and a plan in the works. In the meantime, in addition to the helpful advice you have already gotten, may I just add to drink a nice cup of tea and play with your dear rats. Chocolate also seems to help me, and it certainly helped Harry Potter. Big hug!

Hi Kari, I am just sending you a million hugs and I hope you know you are not a heel. I have been through the devastation of anxiety and depression and I know it is not easy. I am glad you are takings steps towards getting better. I hope you feel better soon.

ETA: have your doctor check for vit D levels. I was found to be severely deficient at the height of my crisis. I was given a prescription for a supplement and it helped a lot.

Hi Kari, just found this thread and read it all...so glad you are finding a way out of this dark moment and want to give you my hugs and wishes for all the best in 2014. You are such an important part of YLF and I do hope you will start feeling more relaxed and happier about your future. The days are so dark here in Seattle -- black mornings and even blacker evenings -- it does bother me quite a bit but I know in a couple more weeks there will be more light. I hope your light shines bright real soon!

Kari - I've been off the forum for a couple of weeks and am just catching up now and saw your post. I'm so sorry that you are struggling these days but I'm awfully relieved to see you now have an appointment and other strategies available should you need.

Hi Kari--sending more hugs and good thoughts your way. And virtual sunshine! Glad to hear things are looking up. I always enjoy your posts, and want all the best for you.

Oh, Kari - I have nothing new to offer but sending hugs and support. You will get through and we are here for you if you need words of comfort.

Kari, just try to remember one thing when work, life etc seems to overwhelm and crowd everything else like down time out. You are not depressed due to these pressures. They are not the problem so dealing with them or waiting for them to end will not necessarily sort it out. You are depressed because of the depression, and therein lies the key to a solution.

I second the vitamin D and some aromatherapy. Try a few different types out to see what works. I am lucky. My 'antidote' is vanilla. On the pulse points. For drinking, melissa is lovely and rooibos. And note that you may need prescription-strength vit D. And magnesium to support it further.

Kari, I don't think I can add much that other haven't covered but just wanted to chime in to say I really feel you here. The past few months I've felt my depression and anxiety creeping up when I'd been keeping them relatively at bay for a while. I am sitting in front of my SAD lamp, sleeping too much, trying not to be too hard on myself, checking my vitamins, trying to eat better...but all the little steps just feel so exhausting. I know I need some exercise but haven't even begun to tackle that yet. I will be thinking of you and everyone on the forum with similar struggles!