I actually find such comments helpful and even bolstering, even if (or especially if) it comes as a blindsider. Even though my first reaction may be defensive, I appreciate the help in the end.

It means I may not be communicating my style goals well or not realising them. Both can be improved.

It also means someone has taken time to try to put themselves in my (very differently sized) shoes, with whatever degree of success. And often also means they have been watching me long enough to get somewhat of a handle on my preferences! This warms the cockles of my heart.

Keep on keeping on, Una, please. (Everyone else too.)

Gaylene and Marley, you know, I thought that too---then decided it wasn't such a bad thing as it reassures those feeling shy or sensitive or beleaguered that we *care*. Many of us need that from time to time, from strangers and nit just friends and family.

I like this kind of feedback. If a fellow YLFer knows my style well enough to examine a new piece and determine if it's my style or not, I feel like I'm getting advice from a trusted friend. And if the new piece is a departure from my style, this kind of feedback can lead me to think about whether this is a potential style misstep...or maybe a new direction I'm headed.

No worries here! "It doesn't seem like your style" is welcome advice in my book, Una.

It doesn't bother me if someone says this. It's up to me to weigh it and decide what importance I'll give to that thought. I find it useful information. Sometimes it's a valuable reminder that will help prevent me from going off the rails. Sometimes it's just a reflection of that person's particular bias about me or the style aspirations I've named. And sometimes it's a clue that my style is evolving. I might not have seen the signs yet -- this person does.

Oops. I've been on vacation this whole week. just saw this thread. I may have tried to sound funny somewhere Rae and tried to come up with a new moniker for you albeit in a lighter vein.
I think the problem with print as opposed t voice is that a lot of what we are trying to 'say' can come off sounding different than our primary intention.

Deb, I actually meant the opposite. I have always found it confusing and less constructive to get a comment saying something, is not UWP... Because at that point so much gets lost in translation of these made up terms. There is no universal UWP or 00noir definition after all. I DO find it really helpful If someone who knows me says it does not look like me.

ok I think his is what I said ( quotes below0and Rae you seemed ok with my comments...phew. I tend to focus my comments more on fit and style rather than style aesthetic. So I dontt really fixate on or remember most of our monikers!

"I love both outfits. Let the style shift happen subtly. don't overthink it. you have great style and will ease into your new direction. Let fashion be your therapy- you have a lot going on. just enjoy and let be...... the butterfly will emerge...at her own pace...in whatever new avatar....from UWP to .....unknown as yet. (UAY). "

Sorry Una to usurp your thread for a bit. I love suggestions and constructive criticism and also a more general " something seems off but I cannot quite figure out what it is". Nothing is constant. let alone style. pigeon holing someone as UWP or ALGO or whatever stunts growth I think. As Angie says have fun above all. Even if it ain't your regular style, your work out style, you vacation style or whatever.

I think about this, and like to give "outs" when I comment about something not seeming to be a person's style. On the one hand it's good to leave room to grow and sometimes people need to let the true self show. On the other, for example, I'm personally working on developing more consistency and integrity in my "fashion messaging."

I mean, I like to make up outfits because I think they'd be pretty or striking, but they don't always have anything to do with me and my life.

Una, I really appreciate members pointing out any and all things I may not be considering. When I posted a K/R of very comfortable quirky black shoes, I needed to be reminded that they weren't really my style. Now I am relieved that they have been returned. One can decide for themselves whether or not to take advice. I tend to get blinded by comfort or a great price and need honest feedback. I think most people on the forum want that or they wouldn't be asking.

I try to be honest and helpful. If I feel I know the person's style well, I will speak up if I think a potential purchase is not going to work. Other times, I try to suggest an outfit remix, I figure I'm always looking for new ideas, maybe they are too. At the bare minimum I try to pick out what I like about the outfit so the person knows what is working (color, fit etc).

I love this kind of feedback (if only because it implies that I have a style - even though I'm not sure what it is)! Like so many others have said - what's said here is almost always said in kindness and with good intentions, and it's really really useful when people can be honest in a kind way. I love that about this forum.

And I know I'm one of the less "I have it together" members, BUT, for me, it's so very helpful that people here are willing to put the effort in to help me learn. That's what I'm here for

I'm guilty of having some recent meltdowns over comments. Mostly it was outward and wrongly directed workplace stress. Also I finally stated I didn't think my commuting outfits needed to be perfect or entirely me every time.
I have a such a strong style personality that I take many comments with a large grain of salt.

Haven't been around much the last couple of days - but I REALLY appreciate the honest and helpful feedback Una is talking about! It is so very helpful when forum members take the time to post and offer suggestions and observations about individual pieces and combinations that would never cross my mind. I'm still fumbling around with my wardrobe and don't feel like I have yet found my style - maybe I'll actually develop one at some point