A Dress My Husband Hates - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Inspiration

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

A Dress My Husband Hates

cat2

Veteran

I think I have finally figured out how I want to restyle my wardrobe this Winter. The inspiration was dressing to go out to dinner for our anniversary. I pulled out a dress my husband hates, a rust colored Elie Tahari silk maxi with a spaced apart floral pattern and weird cutouts at the shoulder. The only shoes that didn’t feel too fussy were some rust colored suede Kate Spade block heeled loafers, and I pulled out an old small whiskey colored faux alligator bag. And a quirky bracelet with brown stones. I ended up really liking the outfit.

I think the hated dress up challenge made me realize I can enjoy my existing pieces restyled to be more boho. I was thinking I would be giving boho a pass like I usually do, but I have a critical mass of velvet, paisley, corduroy, and suede that can work for my version of the look. Is bougie boho a thing?

18 replies

Latest reply was from cat2

merwoman

Veteran

I don’t know about bougie boho, but I am very curious to see this ‘hated’ dress! Your outfit sounds amazing cat2 and hopefully your husband gained a new appreciation for it.
Happy Anniversary!

Cookie

Veteran

Bougie boho (or what I have called “rich hippie” attire) is 100% a thing. Also dying to see the outfit.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I Googled it! But it came up with apartments. They looked interesting.
I am sorry he didn’t like the dress and hope you had a lovely dinner anyway, maybe if you did he will like the dress better!
Certainly sounds like you own some lovely items.

Lisa

Veteran

I'm another vote for seeing the hated dress. DH and I have very different styles so he rarely likes what I wear. But I'm the one wearing it, so I'm the one who has to really like it.

Dee

Veteran

Seems bougie boho is a thing in home decor but it could certainly work as a fashion style, I mean you've just proved it. I guess men have their style preferences too. Anyways, it looks like you've found a fun formula worth exploring with your current wardrobe, so I'd say enjoy.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

It is called bobo! Really! Definitely a thing and you should have fun with it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Bobo! I love it!

I also confess to loving the fact that you put on a dress your husband dislikes and discovered you actually like it yourself. I hope he changes his mind!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

The outfit sounds terrific, and what a great revelation it provided you! I like the idea of bougie boho, or bobo. I'd say, run with it!

cat2

Veteran

Thanks for the encouragement, and the bobo label. Now I will have a better sense of where I am headed. I don’t think I need to buy anything, just work with what I have, Somehow putting a label on it makes me start thinking about how to reshuffle pieces? And I might finally wear my jean jacket now that I have cords again and encouragement to wear flowy skirts with boots.

The husband still doesn’t like the dress. A couple of years ago I bought two dresses for a fall wine country wedding and he didn’t like either of them. I think we were both trying to figure out how to nail a still dressed up but less formal look? I am planning on just wearing them and hope wearing them with fall boots and a big coat for outdoor things lessens the pain for him.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I’m loving the sound of “bobo” and the restyled dress! The addition of boots, interesting bags, jackets, coats, loafers, and quirky jewellery, FTW!

It’s great that you’re having fun, and being creative with your style! It can absolutely help clarify your look when you describe it in a few words. Fab moniker! Please carry on

Suz

(website)

Veteran

The transition from work life wardrobe to retired wardrobe can take time. It's great when you figure out how to restyle items so they become wearable -- maybe even more so than they were in their first incarnation!

It could be that your husband is also struggling internally with this shift for himself (i.e. retirement etc.), and struggling to see the "you" he loves in your new or transitional look. Or it could just be that he's the type of person who is a bit resistant to change, period. Mr. Suz was, ahem, quite resistant to my style shift some years ago, or maybe just resistant to new styles I was trying -- or maybe both! But once he saw how much I was enjoying myself with my new style, he fully embraced the whole business. And started re-styling himself, too!

I haven't made exactly the same shift as you because I'm still working outside the home, and never held a big corporate job to begin with, so my wardrobe was always more casual. Yet I've still had to make a couple of transitions because of moves and changes in my various roles. And each time it has caused a bit of internal friction for me, and sometimes has taken me a while to figure out how I am comfortable in a new setting/ situation.

Also, YAY to a moniker/ style descriptor. For me, it definitely helps!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

More wise words from Suz!

I forgot to mention cat2, that while "bobo" is adorable, Bougie Boho has such a lovely ring to it! A glam Studio 54 descriptor

kellygirl

Veteran

I can relate to this! I try to limit wearing the things my husband dislikes to when he's out of town. He has gotten better about negative commenting though or his eye is starting to adjust. It would be fun to get a visual on your maxi but I can kind of imagine based on your description. Glad you're able to reimagine what you have. I'm working on that too!

cat2

Veteran

Oh Suz, you are so wise. Outside of work we had been doing preppy light to meet family expectations. Not serious preppy but Brooks Brothers and Ralph Lauren watered down preppy. It also worked for the golf resort corporate things I did. But we only have one member of that generation left, and she was the rebel. So we are both kind of revisiting what works for us for casual wear. And our events were mostly DC evening wear and so very different than what we are doing now. I have slowly been testing a less preppy set of brands out on both of us, but it’s a long slow process to turn an established wardrobe. He’s been gamely trying to figure out jackets with jeans, and I just realized how much of a shock to his system that must be!

Donna, I obviously empathize with the negative comments problem. It’s encouraging to know that maybe that gets better?

This is the first time I’ve had a clear direction that may give some of my magpie purchases over the years a through line.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I want to see the outfit too! Even just a flat lay?

Like Kelly, I tend to wear the things my husband doesn’t love as much when he’s not around, LOL. I make a special mental note when he loves something to wear it for our date nights.

I have gotten thumbs down from him on various pieces over the years — until I style them! He is not adept at visualizing things that are not in front of him, while I can see potential more easily. For instance, once he sees that I’m putting that more classic piece together with edgier or more unique pieces, he sees that it was a good idea after all. He’s not a fan of my oversized blazer, but in the context of a full outfit with other pieces he loves, I get a compliment from him. Haha!

Star (Lise)

Veteran

CAT2 how cool that a style direction is emerging from lesser worn items. Love that. Confirms the not to edit too fast line of thinking. As of last year I stocked up on black summer dresses. Not intentionally but they appeared while thrifting. My DH hates them. I have still worn them a bit but it has dampened my enthusiasm.

JANET my DH too has a good eye when an outfit is made but not always for individual pieces that have potential. Sometimes once I have styled a piece that he pulled up his nose at in the shop he will go as far as to say he chose it LOL. Unfortunately black dresses stay black dresses regardless of styling ;).

Cookie

Veteran

Ohh, Cat2, you are in DC? Yeah that is not the most boho environment, bougie or otherwise, lol. But that would just make me admire your style all the more!

cat2

Veteran

Cookie: I was working with organizations in DC and doing their galas and corporate charity events there, So I spent a lot of time in the DC airports with a frock in my carry on. I am in California.

Janet: I looked back at what I had been wearing in prior falls that had been better received and realized I had been wearing two slim lace evening gowns chopped down to cocktail dresses. So I think I will keep an eye out for something with a sort of similar vibe, but a bit more fun. End of season sales can yield some great evening options.

Lise: I am a big fan of not editing, as just when I think I will never find a match to an orphaned piece or want a style again, something shifts and I am really happy to have it in the mix.