a dress code for myself - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

a dress code for myself

jacquez

I was really inspired by a buzzfeed article called “Giving Myself a Dress Code Changed My Dang Life”. https://www.buzzfeed.com/rache......rmNjpE6d5 . I’ve been feeling unhappy with my wardrobe, and I realized recently that I just don’t love a lot of it. Part of that is because I need to have things in it that aren’t, well, lovable — I am a gardener, so I spend a lot of time in practical, completely unstylish gear. But my non-gardening clothes are a mess.

I’ve tried capsules, but they didn’t work for me, and I am not sure why.

So how to get from a mess to a dress code, without throwing out things and starting over?

This is the process I’m working with:
1. Decide on the dress code! I thought about what clothes I have that make me happiest, and noticed that grey jeans + striped tops are those things for me. I also love wearing an extra layer on top.
2. Sort through my wardrobe. Grey jeans + striped tops all go together and get a drawer to themselves.
3. Other jeans in good condition will stay in rotation until they get bumped down to garden jeans. Non-striped t-shirts get bumped down to garden clothes or loungewear (loungewear has been yoga pants + t-shirts for a decade).
4. Other trousers and dressy tops get divided into “I have a meeting in an office where jeans are not appropriate” and “dressed up”. These will all get hung up on one rack in the closet.
5. Top layer — I have a lot of cardigans, flannels, and hoodies. I’m dividing them up! Cardigans are “dress code appropriate”. Flannels are for working in the garden. Hoodies for loungewear or taking out the dog.

In theory, this will end up with the 4 largest drawers in my dresser being: grey jeans + striped tops; cardigans + flannels; garden clothes; workout clothes. And then, hopefully, a rack in the closet where I can just grab “going to a meeting” or “date night!” clothes without having to think too much.

I’ve set aside a big chunk of tomorrow to work on this, but I started by doing a rough sort on drawer contents and on the laundry I did yesterday. I quickly found two problems. 1) I have several striped cardigans 2) I am queer, and have a fair amount of related shirts. I found myself reluctant to consign these shirts to loungewear. I wear them frequently and love them. I decided to solve both these “problems” at once — those shirts “fit” into the dress code bc they’ll be worn with the striped cardigans. (Probably not in the summer, though. In fact I am wearing one of those shirts now, with grey jeans, and feeling happy.)

I’m really hoping that once all the non-dress-code clothes pass out of the wardrobe, I will get to feel like a million bucks every time I get dressed. (Except for garden clothes. No one feels like a million bucks in those.)

Dressing

32 replies

Latest reply was from Stagiaire Fash

Sheila

Veteran

Sounds like you have a great plan! Everything sounds logical to me, so I will be looking forward to your report about how it went, once you’ve got things sorted out.

ETA: I also read that article and, while her preferences would not work for me, I totally resonated with what she has done. Might try this myself, based on her ideas.

Anonymous

Congratulations on your hard work. It sounds to me that in no time at all you will feel like a million bucks every single time you get dressed.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

While I don't have a strict dress code, I do have a similar casual lifestyle and find articles like that to be somewhat helpful. I've been culling things I don't love from my closet over the past couple of years - sometimes it takes me a while to decide since many things were slightly dressier than my daily needs and I wanted to give them a fair chance. My system has been more about color - feel - fit. If I don't love a color (or pattern) I won't wear it no matter what, so those wrong to me colored things have been the first to go. Second is feel - for me it has to be soft, comforting and draping properly - anything fitted, slightly uncomfortable, rough, scratchy, etc. had to go. Fit is a bit harder because there are so many different types and I am sometimes more critical depending on my mood. I went a little overboard the last year or so on some boxy Madewell shirts for example - and now I'm not sure I love the style as much as I did. Two of them get the most wear (same shirt, duplicated) and the other three, not so much. Ongoing learning process.

Joy

Veteran

Why wait for the non-dress code stuff to pass out of the wardrobe ? Life is too short. Get it out of your closer now...at least a good chunk of it. You could make gardening outfits out of the oldest grey jeans and striped tees. If you like the look, get a blazer or 2 to dress up the grey jeans and striped shirts. Navy would be good. Try thrift stores, even the men's section. Another idea is a leather/pleather jacket. It could be something casual like a bomber or moto, of a leathery blazer.

SarahD8

Veteran

Fantastic. Your grey jeans and striped top formula sounds really nice. I love that the queer t-shirts and striped cardigans turned out to be problems that solved each other!

I like how you are dividing your clothes up by function/activity, it sounds like that will really simplify getting dressed for different occasions.

My wish for you is that eventually your garden clothes will make you feel like a million bucks, too. Maybe you will be able to slowly "demote" your gray jeans and striped shirts to gardening so that formula is used there too? Or if more specialized gear is needed, as your existing gear wears out you can search for replacements that are more in line with your dress code?

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I'm in agreement with those saying you should get your gardening gear capsule set to where you feel good in it too. Who says you can't be a stylish gardener?

LaPed

Veteran

I think this is a very smart approach. I totally appreciate having segments of your wardrobe that emphasize function over form. And I also suspect that if your gardening clothes *work* for you in terms of fit/comfort/features then they are providing a happiness factor based not on how they look, but on what they do. I spend a lot of time in gear and as long as it fits well I don't sweat too much over how it looks. I don't adhere to a dress code myself, but I can see why it works for many. My only "rule" is Don't Wear Gear Unless Necessary. This allows me to choose the most comfortable, functional gear without worrying about whether or not it's stylish enough.

I am also a big demoter -- I know many on here don't do it as much, but for me, it jives better with my ethics than throwing things in the trash, or dropping them off at Goodwill or similar, where they already have more cast-offs than they know what to do with. And it makes me more accountable for my purchases if there's no "easy out" when I get sick of wearing something.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I wear rough clothes most days but always make a point of changing out of them at the end of the working day into something nicer even if it’s still very casual.It makes me feel better about myself so I applaud your efforts to allow yourself some non gardening wardrobe space and it sounds like you ve made a very good start.

3style

Veteran

I have mixed feelings about this. I think that what I find is that when I shift gears and wear something different than the kinds of looks that I’ve been wearing for a few days, it helps me to approach problems in a fresh way. Conversely, if I feel like people are starting to pigeonhole me in a way that I feel is limiting, I find it useful to wear something a bit unexpected.

However, I do think it is useful to think about: “would I like several similar items to the one I’m looking to purchase which is in front of me?” And if not, then it probably isn’t important enough to buy.

I’m at the point in my life that I’m just not super interested in unique items, or wardrobe variety for the sake of variety. It’s more about versatility. For example at any given time I might always wear a top as part of a certain combination, but when something changes, then I want to be able to wear it in a different outfit.

Anonymous

Wow I just love this plan!
I am inspired!
I think, like you, I am quite a uniform dresser (more so in the winter).

Figuring that out and then focussing your energy and budget towards getting great specimens in your categories (like grey jeans and striped tops) is an excellent idea. I think it will bring you lots of wardrobe happiness.

Bonnie

Veteran

I really liked that article and reading about your plans. I need to give this some thought and try to implement a plan that would work for my life. Thanks for sharing.

jacquez

Hey all!

So far I have determined that I own exactly 0 striped, short-sleeved shirts. It's running in the high 80s(F) around here lately, so I've started building a shopping list for myself. Keeping in mind the desire for a smaller wardrobe overall, I've decided to get 5 short-sleeved striped tops and commit to doing laundry. The short-sleeved Breton top from Boden is the front-runner, right now. I love the colors available.

The gardening wardrobe -- well! I'd love it to make me feel like a million bucks, but I have technical requirements for it that means everything that isn't relegated jeans & tees comes from places like Duluth Trading Company. I can be more choosy about what I replace from there, though -- I've noticed that I preferentially wear my olive gardening trousers, for example, and the blue and tan ones almost never. Eventually there'll be relegated grey jeans in there. (Possibly tomorrow. I'm not sure about one of my extant pairs.)

I have one more load of laundry to finish before all of my clothes except what I'm wearing right now are ready for me to sort them tomorrow!

Short Sleeve Breton

View Info

Top Pick

2

Aida

Veteran

Sounds like a great plan to move forward! I'm with Joy though: I vote, if you are able, to remove the halfway pieces now and just get going with the things you really love that suit the dress code. You could always separate those pieces to their own section, so that if necessary you can go to them, but it's VERY freeing to just get that stuff out so you can move forward.

Like the Season

I'm something of a uniform dresser, too, although with a more variety than you're talking about. Anyway, the concept resonates with me. Thanks for sharing your plans.

I first learned about the uniform style of dressing from a co-worker more than 20 years ago. Every day, she wore a white button up and tan khakis, but the cuts of the shirts and pants varied widely. Everything was high quality and fit perfectly. I was fascinated by her distinctive style and how put together she always looked -- somehow never boring despite the repetition.

rachylou

Veteran

This is really what I do for the bakery... altho I’ve always called it uniform dressing...

jacquez

Wearing today: a lightweight linen-blend long-sleeved striped tee w. welted seams & a dropped shoulder; grey Levis. I thought I would hate these jeans — they were buried in the back of a drawer and why would I do that with grey jeans if they weren’t terrible somehow? But they fit nicely and I like them a lot. I guess they just got lost!

I thought I didn’t like lightweight pullover sweaters, but 3 of them (none striped!) are in my favorite non-code items pile. I think this means that I should consider adding some lightweight striped sweaters to my wardrobe in the fall or winter.
I have a lot of things I never wear. NEVER. I have two cardigans I’ve had for two years and never worn, and three pairs of dress trousers still with tags on. I’m going to donate all of those. (There might be a matching jacket for one of these pairs of trousers in the closet, but I haven’t dealt with the closet yet.)
I do still own dresses, even though I haven’t worn dresses since the last time I was pregnant. I own four: a grey sheath dress, a maternity dress, and two dresses with bold floral prints. The floral print dresses I’m going to pass to my sister, and donate the other two.
I have a lot more office-appropriate clothing than I thought. I haven’t had an office job in a decade. I do, sometimes, have to look polished and professional, but I’m seriously thinking I should winnow this down to three pairs of trousers and four tops, because that’ll probably get me through a conference without having to do laundry in a hotel. I bet there’s more I haven’t found yet.
Why do I still own skirts. Why.
My underwear is good. I’ve been very aggressive about culling those for the past few years and I’m pleased with the results. I need to get more aggressive with my socks. My bras are a disaster area.
Why do I own so many slips. Why. I don’t wear skirts or dresses. Why, slips, why.
I found a striped shirt I own that I loathe so much that I threw it out. I have no idea why I bought it. It is the only striped thing I own that I do not love. My theory is that it is sort of like a sin-eater in shirt form.
I have 4 pairs of non-grey jeans that I like a lot. All are Lucky Brand. 3 are men’s 410s in dark blue washes, and one is a pair of women’s cropped white jeans that I got last year and wore constantly. I’ve put them in with the grey jeans pile…sure, they’re not grey, but I do love them. And it’s my dress code so I can change it up!

So far I’ve thrown out three bags of clothes that were un-pass-on/donate-able. Clearly it’s been too long since I brought EVERYTHING out into the light.

jussie

Veteran

Your plan sounds very practical. It’s such a great feeling once the wardrobe is cleaned out and sorted.
I’m wondering whether you may have too many pairs of jeans? Maybe choosing the 5 best pairs would be helpful to reduce the amount of clothing you’ve got, just to make things more streamlined.
Also, I’m wondering is there some way the flannel shirts might be useful still in the general wardrobe rather than relegation to gardening? I’m thinking you could wear them open over nuetral colour stripe tops, or possibly the queer tees, depending on colour? Or even under a puffer vest in winter. Also possibly open over solid colour tees, if you have any. Also, flannel shirts look good with just the collar and cuffs peeking out of a woolen sweater, or a lightweight sweater. Or under a cardi.
Also maybe as you like your olive gardening pants best- maybe you could try olive jeans as a part of your dress code? Olive kind of goes with every other colour so that could be handy.
Also I’m wondering if shorts will form a part of your summer dress code?
Good luck with it all- I hope you feel super refreshed with your organized wardrobe!

SarahD8

Veteran

This is great! Thanks for updating us with your progress. I find these sorts of posts so fascinating and great food for thought.

It sounds like you have your preferences and your needs well in hand. Your plan for conference/business clothes sounds perfect.

I do hope you find a way to wear those lightweight pullovers, since you love them. Maybe another variation on your code will occur to you?

cindysmith

Veteran

Dude, I can totally relate! I work in a produce stand, so I'm always covered in bits of vegetable and lots of fruit juice by the time I head home. I'm lucky if I get through a day without snagging a garment on a nail or screw or jagged chunk of wood, or get a hole eaten in a shirt by the boss's pet goat, and it's always a good day when I can head home with no goat or pig poop on my clothes. I've given up on wearing things that I love to work, and just wear things that I like but won't cry over when they get ruined (and they will).

I, too, was inspired by that piece, and I loved her color palette. That color palette probably won't work for my job, but I've embraced it for the rest of the week.

I've also been working from that uniform theory of dressing for a while now, although I hadn't had a conscious thought that I wanted a uniform. I just knew that, much as I love wide-leg pants, I don't reach for them very often because I tend to get them snagged on something or my feet get tangled up in all that fabric. So I don't buy wide leg anything anymore unless it is cropped or shorts.

Thank you for sharing your experience and process. I look forward to reading more about it as you progress, because it will help me work through my need for separate and distinct wardrobes for different functions in my life.

jacquez

@cindysmith oh arrrgh, produce stands! so messy. I run an edible garden and we do workshops and whatnot, and I'm also a permaculture designer with a traditional landscape that I'm slowly converting. One of my goals for the next year is to get a farm permit for my home garden and start selling the chicken eggs and excess produce! Garden clothes need to be able to take punishment and hold my smaller tools when I need both my hands, and every other characteristic is secondary. The Duluth "Dry on the Fly" line is excellent for lots of reasons but partly because the work I do & our weather means I get wet a fair amount, and having tough fabric that is still lightweight and dries quickly is ace. (Old jeans are for at-home gardening stuff like weeding, not heavy work; modern women's jeans just do not hold up to heavy work.)

View Info

RobinF

Veteran

I also read that article and was intrigued, but I didn't even know where I would start. Reading your experience is very helpful.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I love Duluth! My favorite (okay, and only) flannel is from there, and they're my go-to for layering tanks. It's almost impossible to kill some of their clothes. Perhaps you can create a gardening dress code, as well, as let that guide your future buying...something as simple as quick-dry pants + plaid shirt. Done.

I like the idea of a dress code, but I get bored of the same silhouette, so mine would be more in the form of strict color discipline.

jacquez

Folks, thank you all so so much for all the support. I am still not done — my lack of discipline as regards my wardrobe and its maintenance is biting me hard! I have one over-full laundry basket to sort through, still, and one rack of the closet.

Some of you encouraged me to just go ahead and get rid of a lot of the things I was relegating to gardening clothes. I was very reluctant to do that, but I took time to find and sort out ALL my gardening clothes and realized that I don’t need any of the things I was relegating, and I should just get rid of them. Done! I probably would not have done that without you-all pointing out that I ought to consider it, so thank you so much for that.

I like @jussie’s suggestion of olive jeans — if I get bored with grey, I will keep that idea in my back pocket. I love olive in general, but can’t wear it near my face or I look ill.

Re: shorts. I don’t wear them! I don’t know why, really, but I dislike them. I had two pairs at the beginning of this process but both of them are in the donate pile now. They’re in great condition because I’ve only worn them a few times since buying them 4 years ago.

All my current favorite lightweight sweaters are on the office-appropriate-to-dressy side, so they aren’t going anywhere — just being moved to that part of the wardrobe. I also have 4 really great dressy-dressy pullover sweaters, with shine and sparkle — 2 from Banana Republic, 1 DKNY, 1 Mango. Looking at them all stacked up together makes me so very happy. The DKNY one is scratchy against the skin, sadly, but I’m going to give it another chance, over a base layer, and if I can’t stand it I’ll donate it. It’s disco-fabulous and I hope I don’t have to let it go.

Aida

Veteran

Woohoo! Loved hearing those updates, great to hear that this is getting into high gear. Hopefully already working

Tina

@CindySmith -- Oh I totally hear you on the wide leg pants. I caught a pair with my opposite foot one day and fell down the stairs while visiting a client. Bruised the heck out of myself, and it was embarrassing as well. Guess who got rid of those pants?

jacquez

I had a busy day, so I’m going to finish up my sorting tomorrow. But I already have a drawer set up with the uniform in it, and it was so relaxing to just pull out an outfit and be ready to go, without any of the usual unhappy agonizing.

jacquez

I'm all done! That took much longer than I thought.

The final tally of clothes tossed for being too shabby to even donate was an embarrassing 5 trash-bags' worth. The donate & give-away pile was considerable, though!

I have a dress-code drawer all set up, and I'll need at least one more pair of full-length grey jeans -- but given the weather, I have til October to find them.

I bought three shirts (see finds) to deal with the dearth of short-sleeved stripes in my wardrobe, and next I have to buckle down and cope with the bra situation....

Tomorrow I'll see if I can get one of the kids to take a good pic of me all ready to face the day! Pics of myself never work out.

Thank you everyone for reading along! It was nice to share what was going on with people.

BP BP. Twist Hem Tank | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

3

The Cotton Boat Neck Tee

View Info

Top Pick

1

Short Sleeve Breton

View Info

Top Pick

2

Bijou

Veteran

I really enjoyed reading this post. When it comes to dressing for work, I like to wear a uniform. Working in a corporate field, I can add some fun, but not too much, as I prefer to not have to think about what I am wearing at work and just focus on the task at hand.

I had to laugh at your comments about slips. Some items just seem to multiply in our closets, I am sure. Time to ditch them all and enjoy the freed up space!

frannieb

Veteran

loved reading your process. The article was great.

I am moving and gaining a wonderful new walk in closet - I cant wait to do really look at all my clothes and really sort out my uniforms. It has happened gradually over time for me:
My colors
Black, gray, navy and burgundy and an occasional white/off-white piece - I have some other color in their but they seldomly get worn - like as in never and I should cull these out. Orange comes into play in the summer. I'm telling you it makes shopping easy peasy and honestly I can pretty much step into my closet and get dressed without even thinking.

keep us posted on you journey.

12