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A complete change?

Hil

(website)

Veteran

Beware: loads of naval gazing ahead.

Has anyone here gone through a complete change in their style? For example, from conservative to really edgy or vice versa? Maybe from urban prince to romantic bohemian? Or do you think your personal style is something innate that just tweaks as you develop? And if so, what were the reasons for the change?

I have been mulling this over for the last few weeks... Wondering how people perceive me and my style as opposed to how I see myself and whether I could completely change my image. Trying to figure out why an edgy cut or colour makes me happy and why I feel most me in shades of black and grey.

Today, someone at our running club commented on how hubby and I are polar opposites. Bearing in mind that they only ever see us in gear, I'm not sure if her judgements could be based on anything other than my tattoo, hair colour and tragus piercing - she was saying that I'm such a rebel as opposed to my conservative husband.

I think looking a bit (but not a lot) different was something I always tried to achieve... I wanted to identify as an creative. But for some reason, now - and maybe it's the nature of my new(ish) position in an insurance company and no longer doing many freelance art jobs and or doula work - I'm feeling a little at odds with myself.

I was walking through the mall today and looking at different clothing stores and pondering whether I could ever completely change my appearance.

General

16 replies

Latest reply was from Hil

Thistle

Veteran

I think you might have a bit of cognitive dissonance between your perceived self (artist) and your work at an insurance company. That can definitely affect your style, or how you want to look, as you are trying to convey your inner self.

I cannot say for others, but my style tends to be dictated by my job and then my regular life. In my youth, I worked for Ernst & Young, a very conservative public accounting firm. I wore suits, heels, and everything in my life was dry clean only. Even my weekend wear was a lot dressier than it is now.

New job, marriage, a baby and a lot has changed. I am not sure I would even consider a job now where I had to wear suits every day, much less skirt suits. Even my work clothes are at least hand washable. Life is different now.

But, I have always been a bit conservative at heart. Maybe even a little preppy, so dressing like an accountant doesn't conflict with my inner self.

Perhaps you could start small. Add a bit of black, or some rocker pieces. See how they make you feel and see if you can work them into regular rotation. If you like them, and they see regular use, add a bit more.

As Angie says, style is a journey not a destination. As you change, so will your style.

rabbit

Veteran

I think my style has more evolved than done a 180 degree turn in a short time, but it's been very different during different eras of my life. I generally do respond to the environment I'm in, and my style develops in that direction. So for me it went from late grunge/hipster tomboy, to right now, a much more feminine polished look with more trendy elements. I went from almost never wearing skirts outside of special occasions, to almost wearing a skirt daily.

For me creative/artistic identity is not static, it's an evolution, and it's not about what you wear but where your interests lie. For some folks, having a separate work and weekend style does it, for others evolving a shadow style for awhile and seeing how that feels works well. If I was in your position I'd basically allow myself to experiment in new directions but also keep tabs on how I feel. If you don't feel great in a style that meshes more with your new work, try to adapt/work with a style that feels more you rather than giving that part up.

Anonymous

It's interesting that you define your new positon as "in an insurance company", rather than by the type of the position you have. Perhaps it's the thought of working at an insurance company is what's giving you grief. All companies employ creatives, accountants, techies, etc., so is it that your actual position is non-creative? Or that you have a creative position in a traditional company?

Also, I wouldn't put much stock in others observations about who/what you are unless they know you very (very) well. I find most people feel the need to put others in boxes. I guess that's how they keep the world sorted.

Can you change your image/style? Of course! Somewhere on the interwebs (it may have even been on YLF) there was a post about how to change your style, either do it little by little or go all in at once. I'll look for it and see if I can find it to link to.

shedev

Veteran

You could try a work capsule.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

It sounds to me like your style has been about expressing your individuality and perhaps as you have matured, you have more comfort with who you are and no longer need to express it in your style.

I may have misread your intent, but I understood that you felt that you wanted to change your style and not that you thought you needed to change your style because of your employment.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

I think consciously changing one's personal style is sort of like turning a ship... It takes time; you have to set your sights on a new goal and allow for some velocity of time (and money!) in the equation. There's the fantasy that we could wake up with the blank slate of a new closet filled with perfect unworn clothes... But if we're still following older patterns in our choices, our mistakes, biases and oversights will follow us. You might start small, asking yourself how do I want to look, right now, this moment, this day and then tweaking what you have with a different pairing, a new shoe, an unexpected hair silhouette that takes you closer. If a formerly beloved piece of clothing now feels wrong ask yourself what substitute piece would feel right. Look for pictures that support your ideas. I think people should revisit their style every 5-10 years to make sure it is still a match with their inner life, their work, their body & age, etc. The best kinds of personal style, in my opinion, are those that appear effortlessly fluid, improvisational and playful. They look like a sort of visual conversation between the external realities of culture, fashion and commerce and the inner life, the integrity, the wit of the wearer. It's that synthesis that makes us individually interesting & unique.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I have not made a dramatic change, personally, but I think it's pretty common for people to make a change like you're describing when they leave school and go to work. Especially graduate school, where there may be more of an investment in a certain style. One man I knew in grad school comes to mind; he had wavy hair to his waist, dressed very hippie-throwback with a red bandanna around his forehead. And when he went on the job market for academic positions in English, he cut his hair into a style that worked well with his waves, and wore suits. He did not go for the tweed with elbow patches look, but he went for a pinstripe suit in a modern cut. He was still kind of a style rebel, in that he dressed more fashionably current than the stereotypical humanities professor.

Deborah

Veteran

Hil, great post and I am relating to what you are saying. I am hving a similar experience myself as I find myself perhaps ready to see another evolution in my style. I suppose the question I have been asking myself is can I actually create my own unique style based on what I feel drawn to, which in some instances are seemingly opposing styles.

Who are your style icons, and or favourite designers?

For example, I adore the style of Odyssey and Rick Owens, and the style of Anna Wintour and Chanel. (see pics) I pondering at the moment why it has to be one or the other. Is it possible to combine the two, thus creating your own unique style. I am wondering if working out the elements that make you feel like you and then working out how they can meld with your work appropriate looks might be helpful?

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annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I don't know if it still exists there used to a blog called This is Corporate Goth or Corporate Goth. Anyways it was style blog on how to dress edgy in a conservative office job. Might help.

Deborah

Veteran

http://corpgoth.blogspot.com.au

http://sophistiquenoir.com/201.....fired.html

Suzanne (ambergreen)

Veteran

http://corpgoth.blogspot.com/ This might be the one you mean, Anna?

Echo

Veteran

FWIW, much CorpGoth's style would not be appropriate at any corporate position I know of. It very much depends on where you work, and maybe my part of the country is more conservative than others. But overall she is too eclectic and not polished enough for work in banking, law, accounting, or most offices. Her blog says she works as a writer/editor and those positions are commonly more "arty" than almost any "corporate" position I know of (though perhaps there are different definitions of corporate).

tulle

Veteran

I don't know whether this will help at all, but I went through the September issue of Vogue recently, and tore out pages with looks that interested me. I divided the pages into 3 piles: the first held images that appealed to me in an inspirational way, almost as art; the second was made up of looks I might aspire to, but didn't feel quite ready to try; the third contained outfits I could imagine myself wearing right now--looks I want to find, or could put together out of things I own with a few new tweaks. This exercise is helping me pinpoint the shapes and colors that feel like me, the direction I'd like to go in, and some holes I need to fill in my wardrobe in the meantime. Catalogues would work for this project, too--anything with visual imagery that you can react to one way or another can help you define your new direction before you actually invest in new clothes. Good luck with your plans for a new look; I'm sure you can change things up pretty dramatically and yet remain your essential self.

Bijou

Veteran

I think you can change your look to suit your job and be true to yourself. At uni I was into the alternative look and then joined the workforce in an Accounting firm - and ended up as a Partner. Whilst I have a few classic suits in my wardrobe I also have some edgier, fun pieces to mix things up. There is nothing like throwing on an Alexander McQueen skull scarf to give a classic suit a bit of personality.

Style is an evolving process and I hope I am wearing different looks 5,10 and 20 years from now. Don't look back at the style you are leaving behind but get excited about the new you that is evolving.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

Sounds like a perfect time for some experimentation. I would just go play in stores and try on lots of things and see how they make you feel. Maybe take photos and peruse them later to see if indeed it is a direction you want to embrace. Don't ever lose your creative side, ti's too important!

Hil

(website)

Veteran

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your incredible wisdom and thoughtful responses. You've helped me begin to figure out what is going on in my head more than you realise!

I think Dianthus's diagnosis was spot on, perhaps as I'm getting older, I am feeling more confident and less like I need to prove myself as a creative and more free to experiment with aesthetics that appeal for whatever reason. Yet, I get this odd notion when I find myself admiring and coveting something more classic and conventional... I almost feel traitorous to my artsy self. How odd is that?

Henley raised an interesting point - I have worked on and off in the insurance industry for most of my working career. The last seven years however was a very casual mornings job to cover the bills while I spent time pursuing my creative and birth passions and raising my young kids. I always worked in the technical, core side of the business and spent most of the time wishing I were elsewhere. For the first time in my career, I'm enjoying my job. My position is fairly technical, but the company is small enough to be flexible and I have found myself involved in projects that do stimulate my creativity. I think that perhaps this realisation has lead me to the style crossroads I'm at.

Deb, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Your ideas for an analysis of my style icons and favourite designers is a good one! Ps I too share your love of Rick Owens and Odyssey.

I also really like Tulle's suggestion - thanks!

I haven't mentioned each of you by name, but once again thanks - all of your input is invaluable!