A bit of a vent ... suddenly jobless - YouLookFab Forum

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A bit of a vent ... suddenly jobless

Helena

Veteran

Hi friends, I've been a bit absent lately but reading along with interest and enjoying following along with what everyone is up to!

This is just a quick vent and maybe you might have some advice or similar experience to share ... I will preface by saying I am well aware of how incredibly lucky I am to be in the situation I'm in ... so I am keeping this in that perspective. Still I need to work out my plan forward ...

I've had an AMAZING part-time job for the last ten years, working from home with a former colleague who started her own data analytics consultancy. I've basically been her jack-of-all-trades assistant, doing everything from content creation, basic analytics, course creation to general admin tasks. It's been a great gig that is sadly ending soon as she's moving on to the next phase of her career, which will take her into a corporate setting.

While I know I have a lot of skills, because of the nature of the work, I have breadth but little depth, and so I'm a bit neither-here-nor-there in terms of qualification for a lot of the jobs out there. My pre-kids career as a client manager at a data/marketing firm ended just as social media started taking flight, so it's an entirely different world today than it was. Not to mention, with hub's job, we've come to rely on my flexibility and availability to hold down the fort on the home front.

Anyways, I'm not sure what my next step will be - whether I'll try for something in a corporate setting, or try to land another, similar client (I'm not the entrepreneurial type, so I'm not too keen on trying to line up multiple clients for this type of work). Although I am incredibly privileged to have these types of choices available to me, it's a funny feeling to be almost 46 and have no solid career path ... frankly I've never been a good career manager and always sort of 'fell into' things rather than mapped a path proactively. Thank goodness that income is supplementary, but I also highly value making a financial contribution and knowing I could go it alone if I ever had to (not to mention setting an example for both DS and DD).

Anyways, that's my vent ... with kids home for summer and out of school indefinitely, I'll take some time to re-evaluate what I can do, what the family needs and how I can feel valuable within myself, too. If anyone's found themselves in this situation, I'd love to hear how you mapped out your next steps.

Thanks for letting me vent on that! xoxo

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29 replies

Latest reply was from Minaminu

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(You know. I thought you were a part time teacher!)

Dearest, Helena, that's a big change, and will take time to get used to. Hang in there!

First, as you mentioned, you don't need to figure everything out immediately. You can thankfully take your time, and continue to sort out the all important home front.

Do not underestimate the need for a "jack-of-all-trades assistant". Those are very valuable and important people. And I know you are very capable. Extremely eloquent.

The trickier part is the part-time option. Lots of people want those - especially women - and I don't know if Canada is set up for that? Hopefully! The US is not, for example. But in Western Europe - like in the Netherlands - part time jobs are much more part of the culture for all genders because of the way the countries set up their social democracies, unions, economic support structures, taxes, and work week hours.

It might be time to do some courses, explore what you are interested in, and begin putting onto paper what is important to have in your next job. Here to help you brainstorm

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, I understand this. I’ll be honest and say prepare for a tough road. This happened to me with technical writing - I have breadth, but not depth... am not an engineer or a scientist. My forte is really a nebulous thing, process and systems but without being a degreed scholar in it. I fell into baking... it was a hobby job, to fill in contract gaps and it provided me with some movement (tech writing is so sedentary, it’s bad for my blood sugar and back). It’s far out of my box, and was a suggestion from my mother. I’m actually still officially a part-time baker, but the bakery job has taken over because my current tech writing gig IS the bakery. It was HARD I tell you, to come up with baking and harder and harder to find tech writing gigs that fit. I should go get another degree, but don’t want to be an academic and certainly don’t know what subject. I don’t want to be a lecturer in tech writing.

My oldest, bestest friend is a doctor and she is also in the same position. Pretty hard now to find a part time medical job as a nephrologist. She had one and the position was cut. It’s been a couple of years and she’s still searching. Her kids are at that age - and in this current covid world - where she really needs to be home.

Sal

Veteran

That is a change Helena - and it sounds like the job has served you well.

My take is that your skills are very needed for many businesses, and lots of businesses relish part time staff. I think these positions can be found by word of mouth rather than advertising though.

I am pleased you can take your time and not rush into things - and if you wanted, it could be a chance to retrain.

JAileen

Veteran

You sound like you would be incredibly valuable to the right company/person. Take your time looking for the right job. Wherever you land, I sense you’ll do fine.

About your age I quit my job and haven’t been back. You talk about being out of it...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Helena, this is hard, and especially so in a time of general uncertainty. There's just that feeling of "what now, what's going to happen" and no matter how comfortable you are overall, it can't help but eat at you a bit. Plus, we derive our sense of value and identity in part from our jobs. So even if the money isn't a huge issue (and it's always a bit of an issue, let's fact it!) there is still a loss.

I'm thinking that maybe your old boss will be a source of potential contacts. Knowing you (at least in your online persona) I am sure you are an amazing co-worker and colleague, and people who are detail oriented and smart and articulate are invaluable. I like the idea of maybe setting aside a few months, with intention, to think about your next direction. Maybe doing some of those career tests (they are probably free online these days) and/or taking a course or two and thinking about if there is something you've been dying to learn or explore or do that you might be able to get into with a bit of focused training and some luck.

Bon chance!!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Wow, what a blow to deal with in this already uncertain time. I don't have advice but wanted to wish you the best and send a virtual hug.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Oh, and can I just say what you call a vent is so polite and thoughtful! Not what I expected at all. Ha!

Runcarla

Veteran

What is happening to the clients your colleague is abandoning as she moves to a corporate job? Are there any opportunities there?

Echo

Veteran

I had been a SAHM for a number of years when I decided to go back into the workforce. I temped at a number of places, but finally went back to teaching. I am now working on additional certification to change lanes. Have you considered how your skills might apply to the ed biz? Do you have any interest in it? I mention it because it really is ideal in terms of schedules with children. If you work in the same district, you usually (not always) have off the days they have off, and work about the same hours they're in school. It was the only job I really could have, given that my Dh travels extensively for work (though he hasn't been gone for a long time!).

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I don't know if FlexJobs(.com) stretches to Canada but if they do they've got a lot of remote and part-time listings that are legit. Worth the subscription for a month to try it out. Things are more up in the air than usual of course due to covid.

It is really tough once you've been out of the full-time workplace (if I had it to do over I never would have gone freelance). As far as data analytics goes that area seems still really hot. If you can do some coding/macros, and show your work on GitHub or similar, I would think you could still be quite marketable.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Helena "frankly I've never been a good career manager and always sort of 'fell into' things rather than mapped a path proactively" describes me to a tee. I don't have any advice - I have worked in a hodgepodge of realms for years - but can offer empathy at least.

Bijou

Veteran

I would take some time off to explore what you are truly passionate about. There is the opportunity to take on some clients of your old business or move in a new direction. After so many years of doing things that other people think you should do, it can be hard to listen to your own voice about what you want to do. It will take time and real reflection. My guess is that you are very skilled and talented and can probably do anything when you put your mind to it, so narrowing down your options will be hard.

Having the opportunity to change direction can be invigorating. My DH decided 5 years ago to return to university and become a school teacher. Returning to study for my perfectionist husband was hard, but it has transformed him. He has a real passion for teaching and brings his life and practical experience into the classroom. Thanks to his students he is totally on top of Teen Culture. DS at 11 is impressed that he can have conversations with Dad about the latest memes and computer games, given Dad hears all about it from the big kids at school.

Chris987

Veteran

Wow, times are crazy enough without adding this. My career was totally in the corporate world, and I don't have kids, so haven't experienced your situation, but I can offer a few ideas for you.

"I've never been a good career manager and always sort of 'fell into' things rather than mapped a path proactively" I would suggest that "falling into" things is better described as "identifying and taking advantage of opportunities that cross your path", and that it's just as good and valid a way to manage a career as proactively mapping it out. In fact, taking opportunities as they come will also build your personal resilience better than mapping everything out will, and personal resilience is something we ALL need! The research shows that fewer and fewer people spend their working life at one company, one industry, or even doing one type of work, so you are right there with a lot of other people.

I would suggest you work on building/rebuilding your personal and professional network especially if you have not made it a recent focus. Not easy during a pandemic :-). Now that the weather is better you might be able to do a morning coffee with someone at an outdoor patio for example. (or ZOOM of course) I've done this from time to time and cannot tell you how incredibly valuable it is, no matter who the person is. The point is NOT to ask for a solution or job, but just to chat about your situation, listen to any advice offered, have a pleasant social time. Start with friends first if you wish, that's easier, and it may be primarily social. Then there may be business contacts who can only give you 30 minutes so you need to plan more for those. When I've done it, I ALWAYS came out of every session feeling better about something or with a new idea. And, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how willing people are to do it.

You say you left the corp world just as social media was launching, implying that you don't know how to do it. Well, YLF is social media, and in a sense you are marketing yourself here! Not the same way you would for business marketing but there are broad similarities. If you use FB or Instagram you have even more social media skills. It's just a matter of figuring out how to re purpose them for a business setting.

Last but not least, my new favorite quote is something Martin Luther King Jr said

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

tolkitty

Torontogirl, I’m sharing my own story in case it helps in some way. After losing a job in my mid-40s I felt stuck in limbo: Still considered under-qualified for the program manager/director jobs I really wanted —but based on the breadth of my job history, employers saw me as overqualified for jobs that would help me move up the ladder. In frustration I stepped out of that dilemma by helping a local friend with her small business, an “interim” position that sucked me in for the past 4 years but barely paid enough to meet my needs.

Having turned 50 in quarantine, the current economic situation has now galvanized me to action!! I’m starting an online master’s degree program next month. It’s something I can work through at my own pace. I expect the student loan debt to be balanced by my eligibility for a higher pay scale. (Plus I found a program that is accelerated so I can save $$ by finishing faster.)

Besides degree programs, just know that there are LOTS of opportunities online for specialized training and certificates. Some are through universities while others are offered as “continuing education” through professional associations. For instance, my 70-something mother has taken 2 online courses in Intermediate/advanced copy-editing this past year and has started doing that while she works on her own nonfiction writing.

I also second advice other people have mentioned about networking, doing career/attribute assessments, and taking the time to figure out what direction you want to go in. It helps to be reminded of your strengths, so pick the brains of friends and former colleagues.

Good luck!

Helena

Veteran

You ladies are the absolute best; thank you so much xoxoxo I've read and appreciated every comment and made a list of action items to take based on all your advice. That should keep me busy over the summer at least

Angie, you are right! I did do part-time kindergarten and pre-school assistant teaching for two years (I kept the virtual support gig going too during this time - a side hustle to my side hustle ha!), and I came to the forum for help with supporting outfits as well as my very annoying dress-code for one of those jobs. In the end, with my Mom we decided the time was not right for me to be around a flurry of little contagious kids, and unfortunately it's a highly undervalued role here which I found a constant frustration (e.g. I was not allowed to speak directly to parents about their child, even though the classroom cycled through 3 teachers in 10 months and I was the only constant for that child, etc. - unbelievably hierarchical). I just thought, I'm too old for this crap!

Chris, I can't tell you what a healing comment that is for me. I've always been so angry with myself for the way I career-managed, as I could have (coulda/shoulda/woulda, I know) managed things in such a way that I would have an easier time after staying home with kids. This gives me some grace that I haven't had in my mind before. I am so appreciative of this xoxoxo

Thanks all of you wonderful ladies; very grateful to have you!

Joyce B

Veteran

I think most people “fall into things” even when they have relatively well managed careers. Chris gave a great explanation.
Do not underestimate your skills, you have worked in different fields and have valuable transferable skills that will help you more than you can imagine.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Wow, Chris is a job-seeker whisperer!! That was an amazing and insightful and powerful comment!!!!

Chris987

Veteran

Thanks TorontoGirl and Suz for the kind comments. I've been through a lot of job changes, most of them unexpected and a few that I planned....so I've learned a lot. Sometimes when we are beating ourselves up about something, we just need to re-frame the thing we think is "bad" into something positive. It's taken me a lifetime to learn that...and I still don't get it right a lot of the time. Wishing you all the best TorontoGirl!

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I completely understand where you are coming from.Its so difficult as a mum to find jobs that suit family life and family hours isn’t it ,so to lose one that did must be really gutting.It will get easier as the children get more independent although I know that’s not much comfort now!
You are a bright,sparky ,woman with a lot of life experience to to offer so don’t put yourself down.We are very good at underselling ourselves as women l find.The right job will turn up but for now just enjoy the kids,the time goes so fast(says she looking at the DD towering over her!)

nemosmom

Veteran

Oh Helena, what a challenging time for a challenging situation. I really admire your ability to acknowledge your gratitude - that really speaks to what an absolute gem of a human being you are.

Chris is absolutely right. Don't beat yourself up for what you did or didn't do while you were a SAHM, or for not proactively mapping out your path. You should not shortchange yourself or any skills you've developed along the way.

I never have held a job doing what I went to school for, and I've stumbled into every job I've had. Having breadth but not depth proves not only your resilience, but your strong work ethic. The upside of the pandemic is that many more employers are open to and accepting of remote workers. And, depending on what the school year turns out to be this fall, lots of workers could be balancing kids and homeschooling; I would think that means there is some opportunity for employers to bring on help to share the workload. The fact that you don't NEED full time work could be a huge advantage for you.

There are a handful of remote worker job sites here in the US; I am not sure if they reach Canada, but it might be worth a look. Flexjobs, indeed, and themomproject are three favorites.

I have held corporate and various contract jobs while juggling family and home - don't hesitate to pm me if I can help - even if you just want to vent. Happy to help support you in any way I can!

Anonymous

I don't have much more to add that hasn't already been talked about here. I am yet another one who has bobbed and weaved throughout my entire career - and ending up completely outside my specialty . I have 10 years on you, so feel quite qualified to share that I had quite a few periods in my working life where I felt like I was completely mismanaging my career and thus not being as successful as I felt I could be. I've stopped feeling that way, but at your age, I did launch back into some grad level courses to try to boost my appeal to corporate employers ....having worked in completely NON corporate environments all my life.

I am of the opinion that in this economy, it is better to have breadth than depth - especially in certain industries. Being flexible , adaptable, positive and energetic goes a long , long way and can help you stay active in the workforce when other more specialized skills are difficult to transpose across different specialties. You'll figure it out .

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Nodding along with Nemosmom and Lisa, also -- I'm another who has "flexibly found" my job path vs. carefully planned for it and it has worked for me -- at 25, I never dreamed, for example, that one day I'd work for a fitness company, and yet I did, for a while...I've also earned a different degree in every decade of my adulthood (seriously!) and worked in multiple environments and have never regretted the time or the money I've spent on learning and development...

anne

Veteran

Sorry to hear about the job Torontogirl, and wow! Lots of constructive advice here!

Anonymous

I can totally relate! The only job I didn't "stumble into" was my 15 years as a self employed musician- but when I got burned out from that, I had no idea what I could do. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up- and I'm mid 40s. There are so many things that look interesting, so many directions I could go. It's not a stabile or lucrative way, but I'm ok with making new choices as new paths open to me. The important thing is that the bills get paid, have good bosses and coworkers, and I have a variety of things to do during the day. Now I have a full time, a part time job (both jobs are contractual), and a very large (and expanding) collection of hobbies

I did do employment services for 4 years, so would be happy to help you with finding the next direction on your path!

kellygirl

Veteran

Sending you a hug! I'm glad that you are in a position where you have some time to figure out what's next. You're not alone--I've been working for the same company since i interned there in college. It was supposed to be a place holder job--a paycheck until I figured out what I really wanted to do. Here we are 30 years later and I'm still not sure what I want to do when I grow up. Just trying to say that there are lots of us without clear career paths--who just kind of fell in to a job and rolled with it Good luck!!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

You’ve gotten such good advice already, and from much better sources than a self-employed artist who is currently seeing close to zero income, so I just wanted to offer my best wishes. I am confident you will find something new and better as you move forward!

Me, I could be a perpetual student. I have been tempted to go back to school yet again, just because I like it, not for any particular degree. I already have a bachelors, a masters, and was only 6 credits shy of an associates degree in interior design when my mom died. I never went back to school after that, as I launched myself into photography, and then got sucked back into radio work for a time. So clearly I have had a very unstructured “career” path for the last 20 years.

cindysmith

Veteran

Oh my god, I can so empathize. I have just "fallen into" my jobs throughout my life, and have no 'career's or even a 5 year plan. Sending you (((hugs))), because even though it's a first world problem, it's still a difficult to live through

Jules

Veteran

Since data analysis and coding have been mentioned, I will add that there are excellent courses available free online through resources like edx.org.
Eg. MIT’s intro to comp sci using Python:
https://www.edx.org/course/int.....gramming-7
I’ve taken this one and it’s comparable to any university programming class (I’ve take a few over the years!). The resources provided are good (video lectures, TA blogs, student discussion forums). If you have no coding background it will be challenging but you can go at your own pace and there are so many additional resources online.
Good luck with your next phase

Minaminu

Veteran

Torontogirl, wishing you all the very best for the jobsearch. A lot of interesting and useful posts. Take your time to think what your interests are and if you could developa career out of them. Coursera has been offering lots of courses online for free during the quarantine, ithis could be a useful starting point.