56 year old man with new baby - thoughts

deb

OK, I just need to run this past a few close friends. My brother has a 4 month old daughter with his new wife and it is so wierd. Now, I totally love my brother. we have always been close since he is only two years younger than me. But, 56?? I just do not understand.

Oh, His other two children are 26 and 28. Both boys.

13 years ago

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11 replies

Latest reply was from Isis

Raisin

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I sure wouldn't want to start over with a baby at 56! But I'm guessing his new wife is younger, maybe no kids, and he wants to make her happy. It's very nice of him, if that's the case, and I'm sure they will love the kid, but at the same time, gotta feel bad for the kid since his parents (well father at least) won't be "prime" for his childhood and may not be around for as long as one would like. It's a tough call really. But...New baby! Awww!!

13 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I guess it would take some getting used to, but it seems to be not uncommon these days, with remarriages, etc.

My stepsons are 24 and 21, and the 21yo was on a kick for a while that he thought his dad and I really, really needed to have a baby! Well, that would require some medical intervention and a lot of wishing at this point (as well as a lot of risk since I'm 47 and filled with uterine fibroids), but it did make me think about what a huge adjustment it would be to take on the role of parent to an infant at this stage in life.

Here's another perspective: I'm the late child of older parents. All of my grandparents were gone before I was born, except my maternal grandmother, who died when I was still very young so I have no memories of her. My dad passed away when I was 25, just when I was getting to the age where our relationship was becoming less of a parent-child dynamic and more equal. Dad was a pretty reserved man, so I felt like I was only starting to get to know him when I lost him. These are just a couple of unfortunate realities of being a child of older parents, but there are lots of good things too. I know my parents were thrilled when I came along, and they were much more relaxed in their parenting of me than my sister since they were older and wiser by the time I came along.

13 years ago

Veteran

I know several people in similar situations. It boggles my mind.

On one hand, I wish I knew then what I know now about kids and people and life. I think in some ways I would do a much better job.

But I don't have the energy either, and I really think my nerves would fray too quickly (life has frayed them pretty thoroughly at this point) and that just wouldn't be too easy on either kids or me.

I wish these people well, but I am so glad it's not me.

13 years ago

marianna

Veteran

I am a child of parents who had me later in life, too. My dad was 49 and my mom 40. My only fear is losing them early. Otherwise, they raised me well, and had a lot of patience and life experiences that I believe contributed to a good upbringing.

13 years ago

MsMary

Veteran

One of my closest friends started having kids at 50 and is now a happy dad of three teenagers in his mid-60s. It's not for everybody but as Woody Allen has famously observed, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Signed,

I'm 54 and am oh, so glad it's him and not me with that precious new baby

13 years ago

deb

Veteran

He is so cute with her, more so than I remember him being with his boys. I had dinner with them last night and he says she is not dating until she is 40, lol. I think my brother mostly refuses to believe is age. The aches and pains of getting older he does not understand. Last year his hips started aching when he walked and was told it was arthritis. He dismissed that opinion completely. It is so funny.

13 years ago

Mochi

Veteran

Your brother sounds like my cousin G. He just had his first kid last year at age 51! The rest of us aunts and cousins (that I have spoken with) think it's weird and kind of off. Although the kid is cute (have only seen pics), and the mommy is a bit younger than G (probably still around 40-ish, which is not that unusual anymore), I find it sad for all the reasons mentioned above. This baby has no older half-siblings, his cousins are both in or out of college, and at least on G's side there are no grandparents. So it's going to be him and his aging parents. G. also, I think, refuses to see himself as "old." My sister and I were kind of making fun of G because after the baby's birth, his facebook page had him going on and on about these concerts and gigs his band was playing in, and almost no mention of his new state of fatherhood!

13 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Well, you know, I see it this way: Babies happen to parents. Parents happen to babies. And the time you have is the time you have. You get what you get.

My DD is in truth my neighbor's granddaughter. A very tragic and difficult Halloween one year, and she came home with me.

13 years ago

Janet

(website)

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