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Loving something but NOT Loving it in Outfits

Chris987

Veteran

I thought I’d start a discussion on this based on a recent experience of mine. I’d love to hear how others feel about this.

I've felt this way about two different pairs of sneakers.I love them alone, love the idea, they seem to check all boxes, and they are super comfortable, but I just don’t like them in outfits.

I recently went through this with these camel colored Josef Seibel ones. I love the color, they look great on my feet, and they feel soooo good, but when I try to style them with an outfit it’s a huge fail. They are too tomboy, or something that I can’t quite figure out. It’s not the white sole that’s the issue, I like white soles on other sneakers. I even found Pinterest outfits for how to wear them that I though I liked and tried. I love camel as a neutral color. Just NO. Returned them. I also have black Eccos that I would describe the same way. I do wear these at home but don’t like to wear them out anywhere.

It’s such a bummer because they would be perfect travel sneakers.
Instead I’d rather use my grey borns or Nike sporty ones. So I’m listening to my feelings on this even thought my mind can’t quite figure out what is wrong so I keep repeating

Finds #1 and #2 are the ones I didn’t like; the black ones I own and the camel ones I returned.

Finds #3 and #4 are sneakers I do like and do wear. The Nike's are running shoes but I wear them as regular shoes for walking around all day.

Ecco 'Soft 7' Sneaker

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Josef Seibel Caren 01 Sneaker

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Børn Børn Tamara Perforated Sneaker (Women) | Nordstrom

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Nike Air Max 1 Ultra 2.0 Running Shoe

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Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from Chris987

RobinF

Veteran

That’s a bummer, I love the camel ones. I have had that happen too, something I think is going to be perfect that just doesn’t seem to work. Sometimes my eyes need to adjust to the look but that doesn’t seem to be the case here since you wear other sneakers. Usually when that happens to me I also return if I still can.

Bijou

Veteran

Chris I perfectly understand this, because I feel the same way about fashion sneakers, most do not work for me either. I came to the conclusion that they were too Tomboy for my style. I prefer something pretty or with a touch of glam. It was frustrating, because I see other forum members make beautiful outfits with their fashion sneakers, but on me, it just felt wrong somehow.

I have the following sneakers and they work when making outfits. The blush ones in Finds #1 has a silver glitter top - they are pretty, the Paul Green are floral design with ribbons and the black ones have crystals - so they have a glam element to them too. The grey Nike's have fun colours and I co-ordinate them with matching bright colours.

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Anonymous

Maybe its the laces-grommets? The first 2 shoes have contrasting grommets (1) and laces (2) whereas the second two the laces blend with the shoes.

That's what bugged me the most about my (passed on) galaxy print Vans. I tried changing the white laces for black, but the white grommets really bothered me. I wore them max of 5x and felt like a poser every time My regular trainers all blend together, and while I don't wear them outside the gym, they're not so bad.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

I hear you. I’ve experienced similar with a pair of golden tan monk strap oxfords. I love the style, they fit well, and are comfortable. When trying with outfits, they feel very masculine, and they don’t match my other things. My neutrals are mostly gray, black and navy. My winter colors are deep greens, purples, dark reds and blues. I feel much better in black or gray oxfords or loafers, or even brightly colored tennis shoes.

I do feel more successful wearing them with dark wash, long, medium-flared jeans, button shirt and more structured jackets. Then they can pass more as booties, though they are not.

Maybe it’s because I never wear earth colors like browns, tans, beiges, and the color is definitely in the brown shoe zone. Maybe that’s why your caramel colored shoes felt off?

hereforthecake

Wow. I am so happy you posted this, because I thought it was just me!

I have a similar issue, in that I love the look of sneakers with dresses, skirts, pants or even just with jeans....but I don't like them on me! I can only wear them with workout clothes.

I try to wear them with all kinds of outfits, but I feel sloppy and somehow childish...?

Maybe because I'm short, or maybe it's just a hangup of mine, but I can't get past it.

Aquamarine

Veteran

I understand because I feel the same way. For me, sneakers with obvious laces seem to stand out too much. I look down and am not pleased. I think I just prefer a more streamlined look. I like columns of color, for example. I am on the shorter side too so it feels like too much going on and even juvenile.

I vastly prefer the Ecco Soft 7 zip to the tie versions.

Ecco Soft 7 Slip-On Sneaker (Women) | Nordstrom

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ChristelJ

Veteran

The sneakers in the first two photos seem to call more attention to themselves, maybe for the reasons suntiger mentioned. They become a strong element in the total outfit. I have this issue with metallic shoes. If they are closed toed, no matter how well they fit or how pretty they are, I end up not wearing them. They just shine too loudly for me, which is too bad, because I love them on others. Metallic sandals, on the other hand, work.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I had this same problem with these Rollie boots that I LOVED, but I just couldn’t get to look right in my wardrobe. I think some of it might be our eyes adjusting to a look that’s different for us, but some of it is also a gut feeling that something isn’t right. The trick is knowing the difference. If I’m being honest, I’m still not sure I made the right call sending these back, but I’d rather miss out on a good thing every once in a while than have something sitting in my closet unworn or, worse, send my style spiraling off in a direction that feels wrong.

Rollie Double Zip Genuine Calf Hair Bootie (Women) | Nordstrom

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Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Chris, apart from the colour, they don't feel different in vibe to #3. But they DO look different. Think you prefer low contrast laces and non-shiny leather for one thing.

Subtle differences can be important, so good job listening to your feelings. Life is to too short to not feel happy in an outfit

Chris987

Veteran

Wow, good to hear I'm not alone!

RobinF, exactly! Lately I'm only buying shoes from Nordstrom, Zappos, Macys or Lord & Taylor because they allow long return cycles. Shoes are too pricey to keep if they aren't right, and sometimes it takes me a while to decide.

Bijou, you've hit on something there. I'm thinking that maybe since my outfits are usually so casual, I prefer more polished footwear.(My version of your "glam".) I do generally prefer loafers or ankle boots or sandals to sneakers. I like the idea of floral sneakers!

Suntiger good point, I have wondered if the high contrast laces and/or obvious grommets were the things I didn't like...

cjh, I hear you, they feel too masculine. Camel WOULD go with my outfits, I do wear earth tones, so it's not the color that's the issue, except that maybe this particular version is too saturated/intense and the laces are too much contrast.

hereforthecake...I too am short, and agree that maybe it feels childish...I keep thinking of what my brothers wore when we were kids..although that look works just fine for many,,,..

Aquamarine, good point about high contrast laces. I think that's probably part of what I don't like. I like those zip eccos, good idea!

Chris987

Veteran

ChristieJ, great observations, I think I too tend to prefer footwear that is a softer rather than stronger visually in an outfit. I just got some softly metallic slip on sneakers that so far I like a lot but mostly with lighter colored outfits, I too am not a fan of really bright metallic shoes, but as you said sandals work because the skin that's showing tempers the brightness.

Jenn - you are so right. It's a fine line between adjusting to a new look vs. just not for me. I have learned that it's best to listen to your gut feel.

Angie of course you nailed it! What you said feels right - I prefer low contrast laces and non-shiny leather. I just realized that the camel sneakers were something I bought while I was looking for camel/cognac replacement loafers and/or booties, which I have had and love. Guess I need to go back to searching for them. I'll just consider the camel sneakers a useful/educational detour

Joy

Veteran

I understand how you feel. I do not care for sneakers because of their sporty vibe as I do not have a sporty bone in my body, also because of the laces and that they are often painful for the tops of my feet. I also love but seldom wear traditional leopard print. I suspect that snow leopard in whites and greys would be a better choice for me. I love leopard on others and get compliments when wearing it and like to wear snake print.

Bonnie

Veteran

I like the Borns and Nikes a lot and the Ecco and Seibel not so much, too. I think it's because the first two pair are pretending to be shoes and it doesn't quite work. The second two pair cannot be thought of as anything but what they are. I like the look of sporty sneakers with a variety of outfits and the sneakers that try too hard to be refined just don't work as well.

LaPed

Veteran

I'll echo Angie and Bonnie. I think they nailed it.

The two rejects are both quite shiny -- maybe too bling-y or precious for your preferences? I bet a tan/cognac sneaker in suede, nubuck, or a more matte leather would be better.

And yes, the Ecco and the Seibel occupy that middle ground between sneaker and oxford. Since I'm usually using my footwear to create some juxtaposition in my outfit, these in-between styles are hard for me to incorporate. They are neither here nor there. I either want a true polished oxford or a true sporty sneaker.

Jane

Veteran

I am with you too. Absolutely. Then I find the whole thing of sneaks with tights confusing too. That said, I find that sneaks I can wear straight out the box. So, I am with you in the never-ending hunt for sneaks that work. I do find it easier if the sneaks are in a single colour (sole included if at all possible), but that is difficult to find I think. I think you have done well to hear your gut feel on this.

Chris987

Veteran

Thanks Joy. I do like sporty looks some of the time so some sneakers definitely work for me. I like the idea of white/grey animal prints as a softer and less bold version of cognac/black ones, and can see that working well for you too.

Bonnie that's a fascinating comment about the ones that "are pretending to be shoes". You are right that they look closer to oxfords than the sneakers that work for me. I've never liked oxfords at all, although of course lots of people do like them. I think I'll add that to my definition of what doesn't work for me.

La P, yes! I agree. And you are right that I don't usually like bling-y or precious, much like you I believe.

Jane - good comment about sneakers and tights. I am ok with wearing sneakers with sheer knee-highs if I'm wearing pants, but I generally prefer either socks (if it's not warm) or invisible socks for warmer weather. I don't think I have ever worn sneakers with a skirt or dress except in commuting to work on foot. Also I think you have hit something important about the sole of the sneakers being the same color as the rest - its' that low contrast thing that some of us prefer.

Sal

Veteran

Interesting thread - I know the feeling exactly and it is hard to put your finger on why. Great idea to get feedback from others to isolate those small things.

I can be a bit like this with jackets - I have a handful I like, but often don’t feel quite right at the time.

Jules

Veteran

I have changed the look of sneakers by swapping out laces for lower contrast ones. In general even though I love Converse which classically have a high contrast white lace, I’m always happier with a non-white lace - even something as subtle as a cream lace with a blush shoe, or most recently I swapped in a very pale grey lace on an off white leather pair. With darker colours I like dark tonal laces. Except I hate all black sneakers, lol! Something about 90s step classes...
Anyway I do totally understand choosing something that checks all the boxes but just not having that loving feeling in the end. Go with your gut. But my gut just got a lot better when I started studying fashion. There’s some sweet spot of over analysis and gut feeling! I don’t hit it every time.

rachylou

Veteran

Angie has such a Woke Eye. My thought was along the lines of them being too much like oxfords and not enough like sneakers.

You know where I have this problem... with my style, I feel I should be wearing DMs, but I look terrible in them. Unbelievably. They make me look short and fat, lol. And yet I love my combat boots. They’re not that different, but just different enough.

Chris987

Veteran

Sal, you've got it right, sometimes a thing just does not feel right even if we can't always figure out why.

Jules, interesting idea about swapping out laces. You make a great point that there is a sweet spot of over analysis and gut feel, and I guess most of us don't hit it every time except Angie who has become quite an expert through her years of doing this.

Rachylou I totally get what you mean. "feel I should be wearing *** but look terrible in them and love my *** instead".

Anonymous

I had tried swapping the laces on mine, but still wasn't happy. The grommets were still So White

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I understand and I think it's the "tomboy" vibe - at least that's how I feel with many sneakers. I *do* wear my white Ecco sneaks and slip on sneaks regularly and for whatever reason they don't give me that vibe. I also wear invisible socks as I don't like any of the sock showing. These are the ones I reach for most often. The blush have a slight gold shimmer to them. The white feel very simple so I guess not overly gearish or too tomboy.

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UGG Cas Exotic Genuine Calf Hair Slip-On Sneaker

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Ecco 'Soft 7' Cap Toe Sneaker (Women)

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Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I just got these in a narrow width. FIRST TIME EVER THAT SLIP-ON SNEAKS FIT!

I think they are prettier than the norm, hence they work for me.

Walking Cradles Walking CradlesOrleans

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Chris987

Veteran

Suntiger sounds like grommets are just not for you.

Good selection texstyle...and I agree yours don't look too "tomboy".

Nice Angie! Glad you found some that work. That shoe comes in lots of different colors...and I've heard good things about that brand.

Jules

Veteran

I like LaPed and Rachel's assessment of the Siebels too. I see why people like them, I like them in people's outfit pics, and I definitely see the utility. But I have never loved them either, and I think those posters nailed it: they are neither a sporty sneaker, or a dressy loafer. Neither here nor there, a middling compromise. I like them best in shiny metallics because then they have an element of pretty juxtaposition. In cognac they kind of remind me something practical like the Buster Brown's that my mother would try to talk me into as a child.

Anonymous

Fascinating discussion- and my eye picks out a few things with the Siebels that makes them different from the others.....and just *that* much less"fashiony' and modern . I'm not surprised these didn't quite feel right .

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Chris, YES. Bless the brand for doing FOUR widths. The cut-out detailng looks like pretty lace - and I might get the pink.

Walking Cradles Walking CradlesOrleans

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

I think I like what Bonnie said the best- sneakers pretending to be shoes. I also know I am with Jane and want the sole to be the same colour. This pretty much applies to all shoes for me. I used to wear chunky running shoes with ordinary outfits until about 10 years ago, but never liked how it looked, it was just a MOTG practicality thing. Since then I have only bought what I see as “refined” sneakers. I do want more lace-up runners as my last Reeboks died but will spend a while choosing!
My black Skechers shown actually have lace on them!

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

I don't like the Seibels on my own feet because they feel like baseball or bowling shoes. They make my feet feel short (which they are) and wide, or something. I passed on them when I tried them.

The Eccos are another matter for me. I do like those. But I don't mind shoes that call attention to themselves.

Also, I recently sent back a different pair of Ecco hybrid golf shoes that I had hoped would replace my worn out Ecco 8s because I just hated how they looked, even though they were in fact quite similar to my beloved 8s. I can't put my finger on what was different -- they were "fussier." Perforations, plus a weird sole, plus laces that felt bulky to me...

I think it's important to listen to your feelings; if you suspect you won't like it, you won't.

I bought (and am keeping) a substandard Fitflop silver sneaker as a replacement simply because the comfort factor is so high. I don't like how the silver leather is almost hologrammatic in the sunlight. But the shoe is so lightweight and good for my PF that I will use it for this year in the hope I find a better option later (and then can dye this shoe if it is still wearable.)

Finds 1 and 2 are my best beloved sneakers -- but the silver ones are worn out, alas.

Find 3 is the grey sneaker I replaced my silver ones with -- it's actually a darker grey in person and it is okay, but I missed the silver.

Find 4 is the Fitflop I got -- lightweight and easy to wear but...I don't love it. I will wear it, it won't go wasted, but I'm still on the lookout for a true replacement for my silver Eccos (no longer available in my size anywhere).

Find 5 is the one I sent back...

Ecco Soft VII Sneaker

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Ecco Soft 8 Sneaker

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Ecco ECCOSoft 8 Sneaker

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FitFlop K36 Women's F-Sporty Scoop-Cut Perf Sneakers

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Ecco Women's Casual Hybrid Perforated Golf-Shoe

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