28 and feeling like I'm dressing to old already? - YouLookFab Forum

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28 and feeling like I'm dressing to old already?

old-grey-mare

I'm hoping you guys can help me figure this out. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my style. I like to look put together, but I want there to be an ease about it. I'm 5' 2 and hourglass, so I feel like everything has to be structured. I love the look of flowy blouses, but feel like they'll look terrible on me without the added structure. But the structure feels out of place outside of the workplace. I feel too overdone on the weekends, like it looks to fancy, which then makes me feel older than I am. Like this old lady going out in her Sunday best when all the other women my age are way dressed down in flip flips, jeans, & a forever 21 top. Am I alone? And it doesn't help that I'm in Arizona, where casual is king (except for Scottsdale). Any one else experience this, or have any advice?

Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from old-grey-mare

Jyoti

(website)

Veteran

I dress a lot more 'fancy' than my peers. I don't really bother too much anymore about feeling overdressed compared to others, but in order to make the look younger, I often add more edgy pieces, like something made of leather or denim. I wear younger shoes, like giant heels or blingy sandals. And I load up on the jewelry-- I'm a fan of arm parties, big cuffs, and statement necklaces.

I think you can still do structure without it looking like a work outfit. Pair that pencil skirt with a tank or a sleeveless flowy blouse tucked in and top it off with a giant necklace. Or wear a fuller skirt rather than a pencil skirt; I find that silhouette inherently more casual. Wear things that don't fly in the workplace like shorter hems, crazy patterned and coloured tights and sheer items. I think the best overall advice I have is to add something trendy or edgy as mentioned above.

As for flowy tops, I find the best way to rein them in (I'm 5'1" and a pear with hourglassy tendencies) is to pair with super skinny jeans or pants or to belt them.

Hope that helps! Please do let me know if you want me to elaborate on anything!

Clarissa

I feel you on the flowy blouses not looking good. Just try to belt them at the waist or pick one that goes in at the waist, or tuck it in at the waist. Although, I wear loose shirt sometimes, but I make sure I'm not swimming in fabric. As an hourglass and a teenager I find it hard to wear flattering clothes for my body type and be on trend, but I find cute things like fit and flare A-line dresses and fitted tops that are cute and look good on me. For your age, my sister is 29 and shops in juniors. That might seem too old to you for doing that but she is too tiny for women's and still looks in her early 20's. I think she looks cute and age appropriate when she wears a fitted top to show off her waist and above the knee shorts (denim) with wedges or a cute A line dress a few inches above the knee. Still causal and young but no cut off shorts and crop tops that the high-schoolers wear

Laurenlaurielala

Hello Starburst,
I really identify with this too.

My body type doesn't really suit unstructured clothing and I often want to be in clothes that seem more dressed up than what other girls my age are wearing. For reference, I'm 26, and have felt like this since I was a teenager.

I am glad that fashion has really embraced dresses since about 2005 (in casual Australia). I wear a dresses in most situations because they are more comfortable for me than pants with my waist-hip ratio.

I try to find dresses in casual fabrics in styles that suit my figure. For me, this means no blouson style tops or gathered skirts. Pleats that stay flat are preferable.
I also think that Angie's "Pink ladies in the park" post had a great casual look that could work well on my curvy figure - a tailored shirt in a casual fabric and bermuda shorts.

I also agree with Jyoti that wacky/ fashiony patterns can be your friend and help you look casual. Your choice of shoes can do a lot too. I see girls in my city wearing structured clothing like tailored shirts and peplum skirts with Doc Marten boots, and that really loosens up the vibe.

I am also on a style journey - I don't have many clothes and I am researching and building up my summer casual wardrobe, even though it is still winter here. It would be great to see you in the looks that you love wearing and see how they might translate to a more casual setting.

Also, Imogen from inside out style has some good posts on casual looks for curvy frames.

Anonymous

Hi Starburst:

My body type is quite curvy. I used to be an hourglass but as I get older I am developing more of a pear tendency. It is a preconceived notion that hourglass figures should stick to form defining clothing but no, loose fit items can look as fab, as long as you stick to a soft fabrication ( so the blouse or tops moves revealing your shape) and at a size big enough to make the look intentional, yet not too big it looks boxy. Don't feel limited by the waist defining preconceived notion.

As far as dress down looks that are age appropriate, look thru the archives. Angie has several casual outfit ideas that work across several age groups.

Jenniferblue

Starburst,

Maybe you're at a style crossroads and growing into the fact of your body shape.
You certainly can look, fab and flip floppy!
What are some of the old feeling items that bring you down on the weekends?
Probably if you get your casual style figured out (less expensive) you feel happier and
have more fun with your style.
Examples?

Lisa

Veteran

I'm often one of the more dressier people in a room and that doesn't bother me. I like the fit and fabrics so that's what I wear. I do prefer to mix up a dressy/work piece with something casual such as jeans on the weekends as others have said. Or perhaps you can find items that have the vibe of dressy but the casual aspect as well, such as a blazer but in a knit material instead of a woven crisp blazer. Or a button down shirt with a little wrinkle to it or a plaid print instead of a solid or pinstripe. As far as flowy blouses, I think any body type can "break the rules."

DeclawedJaguar

Veteran

How about finding your go-to flattering silhouettes in more casual fabrications? For example, I love midi pencil skirts, and found a jersey one that flatters while having a more casual vibe. Same with toppers: a jean jacket has the structure you need without being too dressy. And like Zap said, flowy fabrics are you best friend.

I am also an hourglass that has had trouble dressing my body without being too va-va-voom or overdressed. It is possible, though!

old-grey-mare

I just love this site for all of the great insight! Thanks everyone for all of the great suggestions. Jenniferblue, I think you hit the nail on the head. Until about a year ago, I had no idea about dressing for my body type, and since then I've reined in my wardrobe so that the looks are much more figure flattering. But I think that now that I've done that, I find myself looking at looks that I know won't be the best for my shape, and wanting it anyway. But I guess that's what style should be about, not always following the rules! I'll try to take some pictures tonight of looks like I feel odd in on the weekends. And like I said, summers here in phoenix are pretty rough, 115 degree weather makes anything but shorts and a tank top feel ridiculous.

DeclawedJaguar, that's a really good idea about getting the silhouette in a more casual fabric. And Laurenlaurielala, I hadn't really though about shoes, I have really pronated feet so my choices are always so limited. I just discovered Clarks which have been a lifesaver.

And I'm thinking that I may have less of an idea of what my style is now that you guys are asking questions (and in my head I don't have answers). I love bold colors (jewel tones are my favorite), and big statement jewelry. But really, aside from that, I don't really know. The practical, analytical part of me wants a defined style, and I do think I tend to like dressier pieces. I think part of it is that I don't want to look like I'm trying way too hard, and I guess that's what I feel like on the weekends. Even though I'm not, if that makes sense. I want a relaxed fanciness, and maybe that just has to do with finding pieces that are easier wearing (unlike a polyester dress that I wore the other day that 1. didn't breathe at all, and 2. had me tugging at the neck all day because I felt like my bra was showing). This turned into a much longer post than I thought, but maybe you guys can make sense of my thoughts. I'll take some photos tonight of the items in question. Thanks everyone for all of the input so far!

Anonymous

I'm a 5 ft. 2 in. hourglass, and I can sooooooooooo relate to your dilemma. Others have offered great suggestions, so I will only add that I'm now 50+ years old and no longer worry about dressing better than most everyone else. My figure doesn't do casual well. As Angie has so wonderfully demonstrated in her pics, it is possible to wear a tailored outfit and make it look more casual (dressed down, so to speak). Think about what belts, shoes, jewelry and handbags you have and how you can make your dressier outfits more casual. And you know what? Others might wish they had your body and your clothes. You never know. Hope this helps!

Anonymous

I feel you. I am an hourglass, too. I don't dress va-va-voom siren, so quite a lot of what you hear works for HG figure is NOT how I'm interested in looking. Sometimes I wear jackets, but for every day they are way too stuffy (literally and figuratively - I feel smothered in them) for my style. I am not corporate, I'm a Pastor's wife. I do still need to look great since eyes are on me. These days I wear cardigans for a finished look , without the "suited-up" look. I used to run around town in jackets, button downs and heels - a lot of fussy clothing - and I felt out of place, too. Not necessarily out of place in my surroundings....out of place in my skin! I wasn't dressing for ME! I was following the rules I'd seen on WNTW. It takes a lot of soul searching to learn what really works for YOUR body, mind and lifestyle. Don't dress for anyone else, that just isn't fun or beneficial. Not to mention, it's an expensive mistake!

rae

(website)

Veteran

I also love structure and also have a very casual lifestyle outside of work. It's harder in the summer like this, but one thing I like to do is trade in blazers for motos, field jackets, casual vests, etc. A button up work top can also be switched with a soft silk or linen shirt, which feels more casual.

Gaylene

Veteran

First of all, realize that you are getting advice from someone 35 years older than you. Now that I've put that on the table, my advice is to take advantage of your youth and wear whatever pleases you and makes you feel wonderful.

If you like structured clothes, wear them. But, if you're choosing them because you are trying to camouflage your body shape following "figure flattering" rules, then start experimenting to find what makes you feel good when you wear it. I'd advise using Jayne's "happiness quotient" as a guide to start discovering your personal fashion sense.

I've always loved Norah Ephron's quote:
“Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.”

Somehow, I very much doubt you'd ever find a similar quote substituting the words "structured suit" for the word "bikini"!

old-grey-mare

And I forgot to mention, DeclawedJaguar, your comment about feeling va-va-voom, I sooooo relate to this! I was just talking to my sisters about this. I'm the bustier, full-figured of the four of us, it's rather funny, we're all shaped totally different. The youngest is long and lean, middle is pear shaped, second to oldest is straight/athletic, and I'm the hourglass. Anyway, I had just been talking to them about feeling like I'm always showing off my curves. I don't want every outfit to be "bam! curves!", but the most flattering outfits are the ones that flaunt the curves. I know that I should just get comfortable with it, and others may want to knock me on the head for wanting to hide the curves sometimes. Maybe that's also part of it, in my head, a boom-boom-curves outfit doesn't feel as weekend appropriate to me (like a trip to the grocery store), so I'm left with nothing to wear. Oh boy, so many things to think of! Angie just needs to come to phoenix and help me figure this out.

rachylou

Veteran

Looking forward to your pics!

I look my sharpest in tailored clothing, too, IMO. And lived in Tucson for a couple of years (!) Anyways, I have come to really like cotton voile - very light and soft - for summer. It's a material that retains it's breezy air even with darts and seams.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

One word - belt! Go for those more voluminous tops or dresses, and either half tuck and belt, or with the dresses belt. This is a whole new concept for me - I did snug fitting clothes for at least the last 10 years. I am an hourglass, but not busty. Anyway, I never did volume in my clothing until about a year ago, let alone belts lol, and now I'm hooked!

Aida

Veteran

If you prefer dressier items, even on the weekends, then you should definitely wear them! I'd suggest wearing just one of your dressier items with otherwise casual items. Examples (you can swap all the long pants with shorter ones for your AZ weather, of course!):
- silk blouse with jeans
- buttoned up cardigan with trousers and loafers
- breezy tee with jeans and pumps
- denim shirt with sleek trousers and ballet flats
- printed tee with a crisp blazer and jeans and boots
- woven sheathe with a denim jacket and statement necklace

This type of dressy-casual juxtaposition is my personal favorite, and since my lifestyle calls for smart-casual pretty much all the time this is how I dress on most days. For example today I'm wearing a bright orange linen boxy button-up shirt, maroon short shorts, and bronze sandals; the blouse gives all the structure I need, even though it's boxy, and the shorts/sandals help keep the overall look casual (I'm 31, by the way).

old-grey-mare

Aida, I love that idea! I think that may be a really good way to go about it. I really like the idea of mixing the two, I think it will add a lot of interest. After I thought about it, I think that I made the mistake of being too tied in to my shape's rules, and even the idea of "being older" and not in juniors anymore. I think I lost some of the fun! I went shopping last night and today, and kept all the great suggestions from this thread in mind. I'm really in love with what I got, I know I said I would take pictures last night, but shopping took a bit longer than I thought. I'll upload pics this evening, so I can see what you guys think.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Just wanted to chime in because I'm around your age - I also like structured looks, but like Declawed said, try to look for some less-fancy fabrications. I have some softer feeling blazers for layering on the weekend, so I don't have to pull out my work blazers! As a plus, they scrunch nicer.

old-grey-mare

Ok, so it took me a few days to think of an example, but getting dressed this morning, I found one. So I dressed it down with brown sandals, but aside from that, I'm kinda wanting something with a little more "umph" to it. I'm fine with the look, but it doesn't knock me out. And I can't think of what I could do to pump it up and make it a little funkier for the weekend. The only thing I could think of would be to switch out the cardigan for something else, but I don't know what that something else would be. Or switch out teh necklace for something with more pop. Any ideas?

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Anonymous

I'm hoping others will chime in, but here is my initial impression:

The sandals, while casual, scream "old" to me. Yes, sandals are great, but not these particular ones.

The cardigan could perhaps be replaced by a cropped denim jacket or vest.

The necklace looks okay but a less chunky necklace might be better.

I love the dress!

I'm over 50 now, and the above ideas are what I'd do if I were you. Hope this helps.

old-grey-mare

Sandals are one of my issues. I have very pronated feet, so all of the sandal choices aren't exactly the most stylish. Even the best Clarks that I've found are never exactly what I would chose. Alas, support always wins when it comes to footwear for me.