2023 and 2024: On fruits and ducks - YouLookFab Forum

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2023 and 2024: On fruits and ducks

cat2

Veteran

What a weird year.

On fruit: I have always been a pear, but menopause had added broader shoulders and more chest, and then in the latest confusing development over the past few years I lost volume in my derrière. So for the first time in my adult life, I have the same number size jacket and pant. I figured out that with this configuration, oversized things and things without a defined waist make me look like a box. Before they made me look like a messy pyramid.

With the size changes I had been remixing current jackets with 2017’s pants. I decided to invest in my current size pants and dresses; 2017 me only had black and navy pants, not very many jeans and only DC
appropriate cocktail and black tie dresses. I didn’t increase my overall piece count, but I did completely blow through my budget adding color to my summer casual pant mix, adding jeans, adding more casual evening dresses, and replacing some really tired and very dressy clutches.

On ducks: My duck feet, after being the same size for decades, decided to spread out a bit just at the toes, and I am currently trying to figure out which shoes can be stretched and which need to be donated.

On 2024: I will likely be seeking new shoe brand recommendations for even duckier feet, and I still need to add color to my casual winter pants (currently all black), and add some holiday appropriate pants. Hopefully there won’t be any other major changes, but I have hit the shrinking years for women in my family, so next year I may be posting regret for having invested in my current sizes…. Or we could be back in a City and I’ll be regretting all the color….. Or we could have fled to the mountains and the only good dry cleaner is a three hour drive….. I’m sure there will be something.

General

14 replies

Latest reply was from cat2

DonnaF

Veteran

Nothing is wrong with color! (says she who wears so much black and gray that others make comments when she wears a bit of color now and then.) Maybe you could experiment with subtly patterned bottoms like quiet plaids and the like?

IMHO footwear and comfy feet should be your first priority. Inserts like small heel lifts can make shoes with loose heels fit. Brands like Miz Mooz use very soft and stretchable leather. “They” say that Doc Martens stretch and mold to one’s feet so that they’re the most comfortable footwear on earth. Don’t believe “them”.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

There is always something! Life changes and body changes = wardrobe changes and some years the changes are significant and unpredictable.

It's interesting what you say about the "shrinking years" for women in your family. My mother gained weight around menopause and then lost it (permanently) and I seem to have done more or less the same. My shape also changed some, partly due to menopause and partly due to exercise changes. It was indeed confusing for a while. I find it easier to fit pants than I did in my teens/ 20s and some of that is due to the body changes and some due to the changes in fabrics -- that little bit of stretch in most things can make a big difference!

Are you enjoying your new colourful bottoms? I hope so! I have found that I will easily wear blue, grey, or white bottoms and I will also wear patterns, but it is a rare solid colour pant that I will enjoy. My new and new-ish red and burgundy bottoms are a big exception. I tried other colours over the past decade and all were a flop -- but these ones seem more "neutral" in a weird way. I say weird, because I did try olive (yes, a neutral, right?) and for me it has always felt like a colour and I just don't reach for it.

I have no suggestions for footwear, alas. I think our feet just get fussier and fussier as we get older and it is a constant shopping adventure.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Yes Cat2!Some one who is articulating what happens past a certain age although l nearly stopped speaking to you when l heard that menopause has given you broader shoulders and a bigger chest,all it’s given me is a bigger belly!Then add on all the lifestyle changes.l ve just given up for the moment am sticking to a few tried and trusted favourites and selling a lot of clothes at the moment.Fun isn’t it?But l agree with DonnaF,a nice colour is always cheering.

Sal

Veteran

It is hard to predict isn’t it - I don’t know what to recommend!!

It sounds like you know what you want - I also default to black pants but have had success with chocolate, rust and olive recently. For me it is having a colour that works with my other neutrals like black navy and blush.

Joy

Veteran

Color: I find it hard to find now. During the pandemic so many stopped making colored things and stuck to neutrals like black and grey. Same with footwear. I can not seem to replace booties because of color, even colors that worked as neutrals are not available in my size, like burgundy, olive, or navy or metallics. They may be available in very small sizes but not midsize. Good luck. I keep getting smaller with age and can no longer reach some kitchen shelves. Be careful about shoes. My feet shrank and now I don’t know what size to try. I may be back to pre-pregnancy smaller sizes or narrower widths.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

That's a lot of change! It sounds like you are clear on what you needed and wanted, to navigate the new you and wardrobe requirements. I am not sure I quite have that level of clarity at any given moment--haha! I enjoyed your insights and humor. As Suz says, "there is always something!"

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I absolutely don’t know what happens with sizing at different life stages! I see so many people at different ages and which way they may go as far as weight gain or loss still seems somewhat mysterious to me. Although I agree around menopause is a very common time to gain weight. I look at photos of both my grandmothers at my parents’ wedding when they were both in their mid 50s and they both look like little round balls- they also dressed so much older-looking than I did at the same age.
Sounds like this is causing you quite a lot of wardrobe churn. I had some when I managed to lose weight again over a 4-year period starting 12 years after menopause- but only a few bottoms really as most were elasticised and many still fit.
Do you mean the women in your family shrink in height or weight?

cat2

Veteran

DonnaF, thanks for the tip on the heel lifts, and good point about the kind of leather. So far my suede shoes have been the easiest to stretch.
Everyone: Thanks for the encouragement. I have added army green, chartreuse green and clay colored summer pants. Neutrals for others, I suppose, but strong color from my perspective. I agree with Suz that a lot of colors just don’t work for pants, but the mid tone colors work for me for Summer. I am still sorting out Winter but think burgundy, dark green, teal or eggplant might be fun; I had them each in suiting at one point. HEWIs, no doubt given the currently available colors.
Joy: Thanks for the warning about feet possibly shrinking back down again; I hadn’t envisioned that, and may tuck a couple of pairs of shoes under the bed just in case.
Jennie, my grandmother was one of those round ladies too. But my mom and much older sister, one very active in sport and the other quite resistant to exercise, both lost a lot of weight and muscle mass. The Ozempic bodies I see everywhere these days freak me out because they look the same way, like a lot of muscle was lost with the weight, and after a certain age it’s really hard to rebuild the muscle. Thus, my exorbitant spend on a sports club and Pilates.

Olive Green

Veteran

Cat2, we really do morph over a lifetime. I carry weight in the stomach, but still have a derrière, which my mom lost early. I don’t mind being a little heavier, because in my experience, being quite thin at this age (late 60’s) generally means frailty and a lack of strong musculature. I’d bow to Jenni on this topic, though. The expert advice around here has helped so much to get me to a happy place with clothes.
Dress for today’s body and lifestyle, not the one you used to have, or the one you wish you had! was key, and it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing, plus adding colour that you like! The colours sound a lot like mine, and it was so energizing to just go with visceral pleasure, rather than the supposedly pragmatic “shoulds”. Cheering you on!

Dee

Veteran

We all hear about the potential for our bodies to change after menopause but when it actually starts happening it can be rather unsettling. My stomach is where my issues are now and even some of the pants I bought last year no longer fit properly. Its challenging figuring out a wardrobe with all these changes happening as we age.

Sounds like you have a good plan moving forward, it might be different than what you've been used to but probably more realistic for who you are currently.

ETA: And OMG feet changes!! So many issues there, half my shoes/ boots are now obsolete to me.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Body changes post menopause are so weird and disconcerting! I no longer seem to gain weight on my thighs (the bane of my entire pre-menopause life!), but now around the waist and bust. So I’m less pear-ish than I used to be, too. Ironically, even though I don’t like the change, it makes finding pants a little easier. But my old button-front tops are gaping at the chest. I’m reluctant to get rid of them because my weight does fluctuate, and a 5-10 lb shift makes a difference… but I kind of hate having multiple sizes in my closet, so I’m thinking that simply embracing easier fits is the way to go — that way they accommodate me either way!

And yes…what is up with feet! All of a sudden this winter I am unable to tolerate some of my old boots that used to be perfectly comfortable. It’s mainly across the top forefoot of my left foot — where the widest part is. That is the larger of my feet (by maybe a half size), one that I broke something in many years ago when I dropped a heavy drawer on it. Meanwhile my heels seem to have gotten narrower, LOL.

I guess it’s all a process of adjustment. It sounds like you have a good handle on it. I’m also a member of the Pilates fan club — it’s not exactly transforming my appearance but it is making my core stronger, which is a very good benefit at any age!

RobinF

Veteran

Ah yes, menopausal body changes. I have always been thicker in the waist, seriously all my life. I remember once getting measured for a bridesmaid dress and there were three sizes between my hips and waist. That seems to just get worse every year, except now my hips are getting larger too but still generally a size or two behind my waist. Bust kept getting larger too but I ended up getting a reduction so that's now back to "normal" My family doesn't tend to shrink with age so I am not expecting that.

Sounds like you have a reasonable plan in place. Hope you enjoy adding color! It can make such a big difference and be lots of fun. I do love my neutrals but sometimes just crave a bit of color.

Roberta

Veteran

Its astonishing how much our bodies change when the underlying bone structure remains the same! My mother lost at least four inches over time, despite lots of calcium and walking twice a day (her only exercise, though). My waist has grown, but my behind and thighs are smaller?! I'm now quite a triangle, which on balance, I'm OK with. My bust has increased gradually despite weitght loss or gain. But who knows what the next decade holds? If this goes on, I will start toppling over.

cat2

Veteran

Everyone, thanks so much for chiming in! I think this thread proves Jenni right, that it’s hard to predict what is going to happen! Each of us has their own unique challenges and then what sound like similar shoe issues. My take away from your wisdom is to not invest too much in any size, so the surprises aren’t as painful. I do tend to stock up on things a couple of times a year, at the end of year and end of summer sales, but maybe I need to put a big Stuff Happens reminder at the top of my shopping list; I can safely delete No More Suits.