2021 assessment - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

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2021 assessment

Lesley

Veteran

It's fun to read everyone's assessments, and actually helpful, because it makes me reflect on mine, too.

I can't say I bought a lot of clothes this year. The things I bought I have really loved—the pandemic has allowed me to lean into buying practical, comfy, everyday things that bring me joy on a daily basis.

The result is I have a glaring wardrobe hole, and that is stuff to wear when going out. I finally gave up the ghost and got rid of some dresses and things that I had bought probably 8 years ago now or more, because the fit is now off or it's just stuff I no longer enjoy wearing, and getting rid of it was definitely liberating.

It is increasingly hard to fill the hole, though, and the pandemic has exacerbated this, because I do so much less going out than before. I realized I had little to wear for fall when I went on a date night this fall. I live somewhere where fall lasts about 5 minutes. So I ordered a bunch of tops, didn't like any, sent them back... and by the time the process was completed, we were well into winter! So what's my motivation to shop for fall stuff? Meanwhile, next fall will roll around and I'll still have nothing to wear.

It's a bit of a pickle. I guess I should add to my style goals that I need to force myself to buy at least one item for that season!

Dressing

15 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Helena

Veteran

Very interesting Lesley! I totally relate to this too - I can't justify having much in the way of 'going out' stuff, and then when the chance to go out comes up, I have nothing to wear!!

My latest solution is to have a few versatile pieces (in terms of seasonality and dressiness) that I can 'dress up' - for me this looks like a few black tops, and a pair of dress shoes. I can wear these with jeans or even smart joggers and feel put together, with the help of some big earrings or something.

Dressy shoes were a major hole, so I've just bought a reasonably simple and not ridiculously expensive pair, and resigned myself to the fact that they will not get a ton of wear, and that is ok! I have few pieces like that, so it's worth it to have the ability to feel good on the odd night out. Perhaps a similar shift in expectation might help you - one or two nice pieces that you are content to wear a few times and then pass on as responsibly as possible?

Anyways, didn't mean to talk so much about myself there but hopefully maybe there is something you can relate to that might be useful in my rambling!

Lesley

Veteran

I totally do relate! Actually it's a great idea—I should reframe what I already have and just dress it up, rather than focus on the hole (or at least while I search for something to fill it!). Big earrings took a hit for me because of masks but I still do have fun necklaces.

RobinF

Veteran

Going out outfits is definitely a problem for me too. I have some tops bought for this purpose that are too hot in the summer but too cold in the winter and we also have a very short shoulder season, so these don't get worn. I like Helena's idea and will have to take a look at what I might have that would be able to be dressed up.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Lesley, your posts make me smile

I hear you on the lack of enough dressy in our styles. The pandemic is to blame! I am also looking for a few more dressy pieces. We can pop them on our 2022 shopping lists!

As for 5 minutes of Fall, focus on Summer and Winter. Buy dressy stuff for those seasons, maybe?

YES to setting two sets of style goals: Hot weather, and Cold weather.

I run cold, so I'm always looking for ways to stay WARM and dressy!

Dressy pants
Dressy boots
Dressy knitwear
Dressy coat
Dressy bag
Dressy eyewear (for me, at least!)

Add jewellery - you have the necklaces sorted - and Bob's your uncle. (Yes, I know you actually have an Uncle Bob too )

rachylou

Veteran

That IS a bit of a pickle with the buying process being so long. I have a few entire FFBOs I put together for going out a few years ago now because of this. Based on an analysis of what I’m most likely to do when going out. The most challenging situation is what I call Cheap But Not Sleazy, lol… festive yet not fancy or a special occasion per se - like not someone’s anniversary party.

Lesley

Veteran

Rachylou, please fill me in on the meaning of FFBOs... and I'm laughing at the designations. I think I'm good on the Cheap But Not Sleazy. I need just one level up, which is, I'm Actually Leaving the House and Having an Activity in Public! (Just below someone's anniversary party.)

Angie, I'm touched that you remember that Bob's my uncle.
Warmth is HUGE for me too. This is why when my guru Kim France posts about "party in a top" I email my shopping buddy and say, "I need more like 'party in a sweater'." I just have to be careful with that, because on the fall date night in question, I said, "A light cashmere sweater with nothing layered underneath will be just right!" forgetting that on a warm autumn night, even thin cashmere is still more than you need or want.

nemosmom

Veteran

Love your post, Lesley! I giggled at the lack of stuff to wear when going out. A step up from the "clubbing top" (for me anyway) but not necessarily church/temple appropriate. It's a struggle.

Now, I have a silk button up shirt and two satin blouses I keep hanging in the closet just in case -- but it's frustrating that the only interaction I have with them is when I dust.

Helena

Veteran

nemosmom, I almost spat my drink out at the dust comment lol!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Frighteningly I am tempted to spit out hackneyed advice about layering and interesting accessories! I think the prospects of going out have changed so fast I have style whiplash.

rachylou

Veteran

FFBO = Fast Fall Back Option,

Ok. So we’re talking like a dinner party with place settings? A nicer restaurant? A cloth napkin in your lap situation…? Haha… there’s a designation…

Sal

Veteran

I see some outfit lab posts ahead (rubs hand in glee - my favourite!)

I think refraining from shopping when you are not in the mood is wise.... so well done.

I think "dressy" clothes have changed so much now that you can take this in various directions from blazers, jeans and heels to dresses and sneakers to traditional LBD to more upscale sweaters and leather pants.....Might be fun to look at pinterest or even forum posts for ideas and see what appeals.

For that in between weather this year I found a blazer and a silky camisole the perfect thing with a great necklace. Sometimes flat shoes, sometimes heels....

Nitsirk

So I am inspired to reply with the thought of Angie’s concept of dress pants worn with more casual and interesting tops - like the concept of not relegating dressier pants to the “clothing for work” category. I don’t know how to find and link Angie’s post on that topic here but it wasn’t so long ago and might be inspiring for you for fall date night ideas. I am also thinking that Carla’s recent post with her beautiful green faux leather pants and thinner looking gold sweater would be great for this purpose. Just things that popped into my mind when I read about your quandary.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I have been chuckling (in recognition) at this post and the responses. When I lived in Ontario I had the "5 minutes" of spring and fall, too. One year I looked at my closet and realized I had no SHOES. I had boots, I had sandals. That's it. And then I realized -- I had no weather for shoes. Or 5 minutes for shoe-wearing. Ha! But of course, those 5 minutes were exactly when I needed something to wear for an "occasion" -- i.e. going to lunch or the doctor's -- even then my life was pretty dull. And I never had anything. Pfffff.

We all need some dressy in our lives. I, too, have a few silk tops sitting in the closet collecting dust. What to do?

Bijou

Veteran

Lesley, it is always great to see your WIWs and your use of colour is always inspired. I usually find that for dressy items, when I am actively looking to find something, it is hard. Rather, those special occasion items tend to pop up unexpectedly and I buy them and then hope I have something to wear them to.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I think it’s really good to assess the needs in a real world way, the way you are doing here. This year I erred on the side of getting some items for which I had no immediate need, and the occasions made themselves known… and then in the case of dashed Xmas plans, canceled. However, I now know I have the bases covered for the future, and in summer as well as winter. I did have to laugh at Suz’s comment, as I also have boots and sandals and almost nothing in between, except for sneakers and some old oxfords that are more classic than trendy. I have one pair of truly dressy heeled sandals, a strapped studded nude pump, and a couple of pairs of dressy heeled booties. If a dressy outfit doesn’t work with one of those options, it won’t get worn!