...and not even any pictures at the end of it to reward you! Sorry about that. Pandemic times and all (full-length mirror is now located in husband's place of work, really put a damper on outfit snaps).

Spending vs. budget:

Despite all the ~waves hand in general direction of 2020~ I did continue to shop this year. Partly hope/rebellion? Partly force of habit, as others have suggested? A little bit of both, probably – aided by the fact that even pre-COVID, I was mostly shopping secondhand online, a strategy that in contrast to brick and mortar browsing has not been much disrupted by the pandemic. Aside from underpinnings and shoes, both of which I often buy new, at least 90% of my purchases this year were secondhand.

Overall I spent 62% of the budget I set for myself at the beginning of 2020. I was under budget in all categories except cold season everyday clothing, where I spent 150% of the amount I had set aside. On one hand it’s good news that this category is my natural shopping focus, since it is my dominant wardrobe need as well. On the other had my intent this year had been to beef up some other categories in which I’d been under-buying. (There was a long stretch in the middle of the year when I was not great about keeping up with my wardrobe tracking and spending, so this picture really only became clear to me now as I did my year-end review.) I do think that paradoxically, setting a budget is a good strategy for me to increase attention to areas where I under-buy.

Purchases vs. priorities:

Setting out detailed purchasing priorities (and “do not buy”s) at the beginning of the year was a new strategy for me in 2020 and it was hugely helpful. It helped me focus on areas I wanted to expand (such as more tunic-length tops, especially light colored ones) and replace items that were starting to get worn. I also did fairly well with avoiding the things on my do not buy list, yay! I will say that I do tend to buy knitwear, especially my beloved cardigans, even if it is not specifically on my priorities list, ahem.

Wardrobe numbers and churn:

Churn was fairly high, with 43 items added to my main wardrobe (excluding gear, pj/lounge, and wardrobe basics), and 23 items discarded (a few more moved out of my main wardrobe to my holding zone). (This does not include what I refer to as “failed purchases” – a hazard of online secondhand shopping. I did keep an eye on those but am not discussing them here.)

Most of the increase occurred in my summer wardrobe, which grew from 53 to 67 items. All other categories, including gear/pj/lounge/basics, are within 2-5 items of where they started 2020. I thought this was interesting because I had designated 2020 as a second “wardrobe building” year but in practice when I brought something new in I often used it as an opportunity to let go of something that had been a placeholder or that I knew wasn’t quite right. (Actually, this is probably appropriate – because I wasn’t starting my “wardrobe building” from zero, I was starting with a pretty generous amount of clothes that I knew weren’t very deliberately assembled or well balanced.)

The increased summer numbers are to some degree intentional, as this was one of my neglected categories. However I am not sure my shopping here was very effective. Frankly my summer wardrobe is still a bit of a mess and I think there are a lot of items that I’m not really that keen on.

(I think this is basically the old “you can’t buy what isn’t there” problem combined with “yes but you can’t really force yourself to like what you don’t like either.”)

Interestingly, when I look at how long discarded items had been in my wardrobe, the largest number by far came from 2019. Most of these are “not quite right” cold season items from my first year of wardrobe building. I do have a specific sense of where these fell short and can see how that knowledge guided my purchasing this year. Hopefully that learning curve will result in better purchases for summer items in 2021.

So what about this “wardrobe building” business?

In my 2019 wrap up post I said that after a year of wardrobe building I felt I was halfway there and wondered if I would get to the end of 2020 and say I was 2/3 of the way there. Well, no. Certainly there are some categories/capsules of my wardrobe that are weak, and there are things that I would really like to add but have struggled to find. But overall I’m not sure this is too different from the normal sort of flux that all wardrobes go through.

One thing I noticed this year that made me think I’m in a different place than where I started is that I no longer find myself wearing items on repeat that aren’t quite what I want to be wearing (what I have in the past referred to as “essentials of convenience” but might more plainly simply be called placeholders).

I think that on some level the idea of “wardrobe building” was a kind of psychological trick for me to justify shopping, with an idea that it would enable some future, better, more virtuous me to avoid shopping, owning things, discarding things, etc. An odd epiphany that has come out of this discombobulated pandemic year is just how much shame I harbor around my
interest in clothing and style, and the shopping associated with it.

Looking ahead to 2021

So, one of my priorities for 2021 is to try to let go of some of that shame. What if I just embraced the fact that, hey, I love textiles! I love them as physical objects, I love the history and stories they contain, I love playing with pattern and texture juxtapositions. What if my challenge is simply to try to care for and do right by my clothes and the body they adorn?

Ok sounds nice but what does all that mean in practice?

I do plan to continue to track spending and items purchased. I am setting my total budget at the same level for this year although in some cases the specific category allocations differ. I’m going to try very hard not to get wrapped up in numbers and absolutes and black-and-white thinking. I’m going to gather the information I need to notice when I’m straying from the path I want to be on, and gently course correct.

One of the things I really want to prioritize this year is sewing. I KNOW I could solve my summer tops problem as well as beef up my pj/lounge capsule this way, and it would be a much better use of my time than endlessly shopping for things that are just not there. Also, get those “projects” and alterations out of my “inactive” wardrobe category!

Also I had intended for accessories (mainly jewelry) to be an area of focus last year but did not follow through on that. I kind of forgot about it to be honest. But it was a good idea! I am renewing my commitment to developing my jewelry wardrobe this year.

Most importantly, wear my clothes! I have to admit this has been a struggle this year because of pandemic disruptions. I must, must MUST plan outfits ahead! Otherwise I will never get out of my sweatpants. Plan a week’s worth of outfits on Sunday and then choose one and lay it out the night before.

In terms of style, I find myself really drawn to new and more dramatic silhouettes. A cape style cardigan! ¾ sleeves over long sleeves! A midi length bubble skirt and stompy boots! In reality, my outfits became even simpler this past year, a lot of jeans and a pullover, even coordinating a top and cardigan often seemed too complicated. Plus, what I’m drawn to doesn’t mesh well with my lifestyle or environmental norms, even outside of pandemic times. I am not sure how to square that circle. Perhaps some tentative experimentation, always keeping an eye on what I will really wear.