2018 Resolutions - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Urgent

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

2018 Resolutions

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I've loved reading everybody's insights into 2017, and their resolutions and aspirations for 2018. Thank you for posting them - as a collective community, you never fail to challenge me, awe me, and inspire me with your wisdom and your creativity!

2017 has felt like a pretty good year for my wardrobe: for regularly editing and curating, for planning, and for moving forward. I sorted my color palette (I hope to have a post on my blog about that tomorrow), and I streamlined things with the intent of making the rest of my life easier, smoother, forward-moving.

When I think about my 2018 style goals, I realize that it isn't a stand-alone thing for me. There are a lot of things I want to accomplish this coming year...

For one... I see where the #metoo movement is in danger of faltering and ultimately not going anywhere. In 2018, I want to write about women's issues, I want to advocate for women. Womens' rights. Womens' equality socially, in the workplace, in our personal lives, sexually, intellectually. I want women to come together as a whole, to support other women, because how we treat each other... ultimately determines how men treat women.

For another, I'm starting to get a lot more artistic work, and I want my life - and wardrobe - and style - as streamlined as possible, so that I can get on with what I want to do. I don't want to sink a lot of time and personal anguish into what outfit I'm wearing.

I want my clothing to be comfortable, to be chic, to be sexy, to not be sexy, to inspire, to stand out, to celebrate, to conceal, to blend in... basically, I want my clothing to support whatever role I'm currently in for the day. I want my clothes to express who I am inside. I want to feel joy every time I put something on.

So that's my style goal for 2018. If I had to sum it up in a few short words: Streamlined, joyful and with a purpose.

Urgent

17 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Violettt

La Belle: that's awesome you're advocating for women's rights! Tell me, are you married?

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

No, divorced. I’ve been with my BF now for 7+ years; we refer to each other as life partners. ❤️❤️❤️ I think what will ultimately drive us to marry, will be healthcare costs. But we both really cherish what we already have.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Wonderful! As a professor, my research was into racism and anti-Islamic animus. I can’t wait until I’m working again—not as a prof, but I hope to also be fighting the good fight alongside you, on a related issue.

Will some of your artistic work be in support of women who’ve been sexually harassed or exploited? I think that is so important. Right now I’m afraid it’s in danger of blowing over. Some men have been scapegoated and lost their jobs, even when they were doing good work, but so little was done to make clear what men should do differently, how that kind of thing is baked into the way our society works. And so you get men refusing to have lunch with women co-workers, because they don’t know how to conduct themselves. I don’t know how to address that head-on, in a didactic style, but maybe you could, through your art.

By the way, I read an interesting piece recently on Stage Door and reviews of it, which apparently missed the role the producer’s lecherousness affected the central women in the movie. If I can find it again, would you be interested?

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

My apologies in advance, because this really is a conversation for a different forum - but my focus and determination came out of this: I've recently interviewed a number of women - some were unwed mothers, some were their adopted children, who eventually located their birth mothers. In both groups, these women range from their late 20s-to early 70s+.

The mothers were women who found themselves pregnant as younger teenagers and young women, shamed, and hidden away. Women who were sent away from their own families to have a baby, kissed their babies goodbye and given a closed adoption that they had no real say in. Women who were assaulted or seduced, by young men of their own age, or much older men. Women who were shamed, and treated as if they had done something worse than murdering another human being - as if giving life to another human being is a terrible terrible thing. Women who were/still are 'shielded' from any objectively useful sexual education or any true choice in what happens to their bodies.

In December alone, I have heard half a dozen stories, which makes me believe that this has been a far more common occurrence than I ever imagined. I call them The Hidden - the women that we - our collective American society - have been shaming and hiding away, for many generations.

Joy

Veteran

As a 71 year old, I can say, yes, it was a very common occurrence. We were duped in so many ways, including legalizing abortion, which really makes things easier on the men and puts it all on a probably very young women. We were promised that all children would be wanted and cherished. Ha! Child abuse is more rampant than it ever was. I grew up with many children from an orphanage in my classroom.
The heros and most emotionally healthy today are the brave young women who had the courage to keep their babies and raise them alone. Rejected by family and society, they did the unthinkable. Friends who had abortions have never gotten over it. It changed them, and, in many cases ruined their lives. They were usually put up to it by boyfriends who did not want to marry or pay child support.
La Belle, I applaud your work. We have a long way to go. Very young girls need to know that they have the right to say no, and to hold a man accountable if taken advantage of.

cindysmith

Veteran

I think your goals for the year are great ones! I look forward to seeing how you interpret them for your wardrobe.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Joy, I’m not sure if you intended to slight women who have given children up for adoption or not. This can also be seen as a brave choice, in a time when abortion can “make it go away”. I very much agree with you on the hollowness of “pro-life” movements that are not concerned with a child’s well-being once that child has been born.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I must address this:

First... this is not the forum to have this dialogue, and I promise to find a place where anyone who is interested can discuss these issues. If anyone knows of a good forum (Quora? Reddit?), please PM me.

But if this conversation continues here, it should be moved to the Other Topics section. Angie or Greg, can you move this thread? Or if this is too much for YLF altogether, let's delete this thread.

I cannot emphasize this strongly enough:

Every opinion here is valid. Every viewpoint is valid. Nobody should be made to feel small, for expressing their honest feelings. It is in this kind of dialogue, where we come together and being our work: to come to intelligent, rational, compassionate ways to make all women in this world feel empowered, secure, safe, and welcomed in all stratas of society.

So please, everyone, keep your conversations compassionate, kind, and as non-judgmental as possible. Because if we argue amongst ourselves, without working towards effective change, what we are really doing is keeping ourselves down.

Lots of love for all of you this New Year! xoxoxoxoxo

Lynn

Veteran

La Belle- Bless you for the work that you do for women. There are so many ways that women have been/are boxed in, judged, discounted.

Your wardrobe goals really speak to me. Can I adopt them? I have become interestedly interested in minimalism in the sense of having just "enough". "Enough" yet to be determined and my main goal this year. So streamlined and with purpose are really helpful to think about.

Joy, yes! Thank you for that. I so often forget about the emotional aspect of dressing when caught up in planning.

Happy New Year

madeline

Veteran

2018 resolutions: wear what I HAVE, donate what doesn't work, no random purchases!
2018 style goals: comfortable, professional wardrobe with one quirky twist for every outfit!
Wish me luck!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

... And now we return to the style part....

Madeline: I'm going to adopt your resolutions too! Especially the No Random Purchases. (I capitalized that because I'm hoping that will give this a bigger presence in my mind).

Lynn: I chose 'joy', because I realized that I only really think about making festive clothing choices between Thanksgiving and New Year's. It always feels so good, why am I not doing this with my outfits the other 11 months of the year? I feel like Ms. Mary is my inspiration here, she always looks joyful in her outfits. And Angie, who always radiates this specific inner peace and energy with her outfit choices. I want that for myself.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

LBD, your comments about Angie and MsMary echo my own long-range goals here. There are several other people I think of that way as well.

Anonymous

LBD -- your post was powerful. I have followed the MeToo Movement closely over the past few months; I had not been aware of a weakening. I will watch for that and do my part as well.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

LBD --- you are wonderful and your post is important. Thank you! It is interesting to consider how one's work and research as artist/ activist intersect and how to dress for these roles. I would love to further that discussion!

Lynn

Veteran

Thanks for the Boost LBD. Much appreciated. Thinking about joy in my clothing has set off lots of other thoughts regarding my wardrobe (and larger issues). Will muse on it a bit more than maybe put myself out there with topic post. I am one that has to ease my way into new things

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

A beautifully articulated post. It screams the need for authenticity. I'm on that page too.

rachylou

Veteran

Excellent motto, La Belle.

(And yes, Joy. Absolutely. Being a woman is not a disease.)