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2 years alcohol free!

Helena

Veteran

Hi friends, just sharing a happy milestone* - 2 years alcohol free! To make a long story short, perimenopause and alcohol didn't mix for me (migraines, anxiety spikes) so on the advice of a friend, I decided to try a 3-month fast and never looked back. For me, even though I wasn't a big drinker to start with, it's been a real positive, with better sleep, better skin and way more social confidence weirdly - I think I didn't realize that as 'the quiet one', I felt really pressured to drink more and 'be more fun'; whereas now everyone knows I don't drink so some don't invite me anymore (*shrugs*) and the ones that do I know for sure couldn't care less really, so I am more relaxed and therefore more fun And it led to a part-time job as well, and DH following suit (by choice no pressure for me whatsoever) about a year ago!

If you have any interest, here is a piece I wrote about my journey: https://www.somegoodcleanfun.c.....cohol-free

Hooray for me and hooray for all of us DYOT'ing in fashion, lifestyle choices and life in general! xoxox

*not for one second am I saying or implying anyone else should give up alcohol! It can be a fraught topic, but to me, like gluten, sugar, caffeine, peanuts and a myriad other things, what works for one body doesn't work for another. I celebrate this *only* because the cultural stream can be unsupportive at times and attaches all sorts of judgements and morals to alcohol in both directions, so to that extent, it is 'work'. I am very passionate about the idea that we should feel free to make the decision that works for us, no stigma either way xoxo

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46 replies

Latest reply was from DonnaF

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Good for you, Helena! Whatever works for body, mind, and spirit

Personally, I don't drink alcohol at all. Never have! I don't like the way it tastes, and I think I'm allergic to it. My mouth goes numb when the tiniest drop touches my lips or tongue.

Bijou

Veteran

Congratulations on doing what works best for you. My DH does not drink and like you found once he gave it up he felt healthier and happier, his reason was when our son was born he wanted to always be able to drive if we had an emergency situation. I enjoyed reading your article.

LJP

Veteran

This is a wonderful milestone Helena, and I salute you!

I have gone alcohol free for long periods over the last few years, but have slipped back into enjoying wine or an aperol spritz on weekends/vacations. I struggle with it because I know that alcohol is a known and proven carcinogen, and that no amount of it is healthy. Now that I write this, I'm not sure why I am giving myself permission to enjoy it - because I don't always do that (enjoy it). It's a sleep disrupter for sure, and does contribute to anxiety and depression if I drink more than say 2 glasses of wine.

Helena

Veteran

Thanks all! Appreciate it

Lisa - all I can say is, all those breaks do good things for your body so try not to think too 'all or nothing' about it ... for me, one glass was enough to trigger symptoms, so there wasn't anywhere to go but none from that point, but that's not true of many people for sure. There is a very big spectrum of alcohol consumption (and many other things) and we all have to find our own risk/reward sweet spot. By any metrics my potato chip obsession is not good for my health, but I am not giving up chips because I love them! Context is everything.

That said, if YOU are not happy with the role alcohol is playing for you, I would just say, keep mindfully experimenting with the balance ... as with everything it's all learning and a journey. xx

Anonymous

Congrats on your 2 year soberversary!!

I'll drink a couple beers a week, but am happy to know about interesting NA options, cause I can't stand soda (hate carbonation) and DH doesn't drink.

I discovered a brand of NA beer called Athletic Brewing, that even has a dark. It's thin compared to my usual craft beers, but not bad.

Recently at a festival, there were ladies making NA coctails, which were quite good, and another festival had some interesting lemonades too.

Kombucha has been a good alternative, as long as it's with regular sugar, not artificial sweeteners or stevia (which taates like artificial sweetener to me). Only 25-30 cal for half bottle, instead of 160+ for a good beer.

Helena

Veteran

Suntiger, Athletic Brewing is available in Canada now too, DH loves it! There are some great NA beer options ... I actually didn't drink alcoholic beer, but I now like some NA beers haha ... Corona 0 and Guinness 0 are both good I think (although I can only have 1 of either). What I've noticed is a lot of people having 1 alcoholic drink and then switching to NA ... I think it's great for people to have lots of options. Even drivers, etc. And of course when it's more of a mix, it makes life easier and more inclusive for sober-sober people too (i.e. where drinking would be detrimental to them vs. it being a lifestyle choice).

I LOVE kombucha ... I always have Remedy Kombucha on hand, it's so good.

The lady I work for is a mocktail expert and does some really fancy things but I can't usually be bothered #lazy ... I like ordering fancy mocktails at restaurants though, if they don't seem too sugary!

April

Veteran

Tipping my hat to you, Helena!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Congratulations, Helena! That's fabulous.

Looking forward to reading your article. I love wine but have been reducing consumption for all the reasons Lisa mentioned and have enjoyed finding some NA beers (at least in summer) and even (gasp) one NA wine that I can tolerate (most are horrible.)

Helena

Veteran

Suz there are some truly terrible ones lmao! But they are improving thank goodness! Even the LCBO has a decent one now (and some horrid ones lol).

I think the hybrid model (drink the alcoholic version if it's something you really love, AF for anything else) is the way it's all going to go in the long run. With religious, cultural, health and other statuses so different, a mishmash makes a ton of sense for most events and probably most people!

Minaminu

Veteran

Congratulations! Glad to hear it works well for your health and that it helped you gain more confidence. I have very little interest to alcohol, don't like the taste of beer but can happily drink a glass of apple cider or rose' twice a year if at all. As perimenopause is now starting, I am considering going teetotal due to the health benefits.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I’m glad you found a way to feel better. I like the idea of no judgement on what people drink or don’t drink.

Helena

Veteran

Barbara Diane, it's amazing how judged I used to feel. Now I realize it's because some people who drink think it's because I'm judging them lol. I am hopeful then next generation is going to have a far more relaxed attitude towards the whole thing! I know the older teens and young adults I have talked to about it definitely see it all as less of a big deal either way, which is wonderful!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

That’s fantastic, Helena! I have a number of family and friends who have stopped drinking for one reason or another, and I completely support whatever choice people make to improve their lives and their health!

I’m not a big drinker (anymore). But vacation was definitely a bit of indulgence — most days I had at least one drink, which is way more than my norm at home. I drank too much when I was young, in my 20s, and I just don’t even like to get tipsy anymore. Lessons learned.

Is there a link between migraines and alcohol?? My husband has intermittent trouble with migraines and now has some medication that helps when he feels one coming on. It would be interesting to track alcohol consumption with that. We do know that certain coffee roasts seem to be a trigger for him.

rachylou

Veteran

My uncle just sent me this thing about the ‘Asian flush’ being a sign of toxic poisoning. My mother’s side of the family. My father’s is hard drinking, or was in the old days.

I’m curious, Helena, about the cultural place of alcohol amongst those you know. Like how often it’s featured. In the old days, cocktail hour was definitely a thing in my world. Like little kids make the martinis or mint juleps for the adults… every day a party…

Bee

Congratulations! The fact that you’ve accomplished something so meaningful that brings you confidence and a sense of fulfillment is a milestone to proud of indeed!

I’m a lightweight myself and 1 or 2 flutes of champagne are usually enough for one evening . I also tend to sip on water in between rounds. There was a time in my twenties when I could finish off a bottle of vodka (usually mixed with diet fruit soda) during all-nighters… several times a week. But that was a self destructive phase I went through shortly after my mother’s death, complete with cutting and benzo abuse. I grew out of it as I learned how to better deal with my grief. It was definitely a learning experience that taught me to value my health and recognize my limits. Anything past slightly giddy/tipsy is a red flag to stop or slow down with a full glass of cold water. I have very low blood pressure so if the water makes me drowsy, it’s definitely time to stop and have a meal. My stomach tends to be sensitive so I find it difficult to eat and drink at the same time unless I’m just grazing.

Many of my friends are moderate to heavy drinkers, some don’t drink at all, a few have habits similar to mine and there’s no judgment on any part, at least none that I know of. If there is, I’m blissful to be ignorant of it. I used to be the shy, quiet one and that gave me the opportunity to observe and analyze social interactions. I learned a lot, and nowadays I much prefer to relax, participate and enjoy, even while drinking less.

Helena

Veteran

Janet, there certainly can be ... I also drastically reduced caffeine consumption to avoid triggering migraine. It's definitely worth tracking to see if there is a link (and if its a particular bev, like red wine for example, that does it).

Rachy, being a Gen Xer in the 'burbs, "mommy wine culture" really is a thing, as is the fear of judgement, and I think the two can be a bad combination when someone decides they aren't going to partake! For the most part though, my friends didn't care beyond the initial curiosity (one even admitted she wanted to figure out if there was more drama to the story than I was saying at first - there wasn't ). One friend got a bit weird but I just ignored it and she got over it eventually (but I still don't get the same invites I used to - which is fine with me). I think the main cultural note is that in my social setting and age group, the norm is to drink something, even if small quantities, and to not do that is "weird" and must have some big reason behind it; whereas I hope we'll get the stage where it's not given any more thought than when I order a decaf coffee while the others get full caf!

Bee, glad you're in a healthier place!

Helena

Veteran

Rachy, another interesting cultural note - in Ireland, which has been given such a stereotype about being a drinking country, no one cared a jot that DH and I weren't partaking ... once we were good for a chat and a singsong, I don't think anyone even noticed! Admittedly that's my family, not a representation of the country ... but with 140 family members gathered, it's not the worst sample either!

rachylou

Veteran

Way off tangent, but as a Catholic, Irish AMERICAN drinking culture is interesting to me. Drinking and tee-totalling, which can be very fierce. I’ve been on my share of pub crawls whence the two sides meet and confront each other.

Tbh, re mummy wine culture etc… that’s probably reason #506 why I’m not married with kids… it does take a village to raise a child, but the village scares me. I remember the ‘wall-to-wall carpet wars’ of the 80s… people get very serious about this stuff. I can’t keep up. I’m struggling with door handles for my patio doors and getting an electrician to come rewire a closet ceiling fixture. I do not joke. No one can come to my house!

rachylou

Veteran

Ok. Not in the pub, but trying to set off and go to one…

Helena

Veteran

Rachy, I do have to say some of those toxic elements of mom culture I have avoided ... thank God! My friends and are are pretty honest and have all seen each others messy homes I think once one person breaks the seal, it creates a safe space for everyone else too ... but if no one does, everyone tries to put a good image forward because every one else is! Luckily for me, I am not good at images - wysiwyg - I am a happy mess and I'm fine with it

Helena

Veteran

A lot of Irish Canadian culture is alcohol-centric ... I think that's pretty lazy though, and a triumph of marketing by the beer companies *thumbs down* I was raised going to ceilis and musical events, etc. where a lot of people didn't drink at all or very much, and it definitely wasn't the purpose of the event, so I always associated Irish culture with music and dancing rather than beer! That said, I love pubs .. I will happily sit in one and chat for hours if the atmosphere is good.

rachylou

Veteran

A real pub is less bar and more like an old fashioned coffee house where you could get a glass of wine, but with more substantial food. You just go and hang. That’s the way it was in England when I was there, off in the country side. Altho, bored people can get crazy… there was a legendary water fight in the local pub… lolol…

Anyways, the US doesn’t really have pubs. Someone here did a comic and was on the radio recently, mourning the loss of our coffee houses.

cat2

Veteran

Helena: Congratulations! That is a real accomplishment. I quit after reading one too many articles about the effect of alcohol consumption on dementia rates. I am still figuring out good alternatives; the site you linked to will be really helpful.

Helena

Veteran

Cat2, I work with that site as full disclosure (hence why my article is on there obviously!!!) but don't make any money off views or clicks or anything like that - don't want you to think I'm n
trying to promote it or anything like that. But it is a great resource and has links to lots of online stores and brands for yummy options

Sal

Veteran

Congratulations Helena! It sounds like this has been an empowering decision for you and led to confidence across your life. Well done!

My older son (21) has never drunk alcohol and has always been happy and confident in his choice. My 18 year old son (18 is the age here) does drink alcohol.

In our family and social gatherings there are always some not drinking - for a whole variety of reasons. I do know a few women who have found the combination with perimenopause or menopause and drinking to be awful which has led to them stopping drinking.

I drink a variety of alcoholic beverages moderately as does Jon. I usually have kombucha, ginger beer and soda water on hand as non alcoholic options for myself or guests and sometimes juice.

Helena

Veteran

Sal, what you're describing sounds like exactly how it should be ... Different choices, no stress! X

It really has been a confidence boost! I think because I had to stand in a decision knowing some (not many, but a few important ones) were judging me and just doing it anyways. A good exercise for me!

SarahD8

Veteran

Congratulations, Helena! I’m glad this has been such a positive change for you.

I recently cut way back on drinking. The main driver I am ashamed to admit was vanity: I wanted to lose weight (speaking of perimenopause) and once I saw the numbers it was clear that the amount of alcohol I was consuming was not going to fit in the calorie budget.

It turned out that making this change almost entirely eliminated my hot flashes. And has helped improve my blood sugar regulation too.

I enjoy the taste of alcohol and also the buzz, but the last few times I’ve had a drink it has given me a massive headache. So I may be on the way to being a very occasional drinker, which I definitely would not have expected a few months ago. We shall see.

Echo

Veteran

Good for you for making the right decision for you and your well-being!

I grew up in Wisconsin and went to the UW-Madison... which, if one knows anything about the states, really should say it all. Statistically, half of the top 20 drunkest cities in the US are in Wisconsin.
https://vinepair.com/booze-new.....one-state/

So, I was a heavy drinker for many years without even realizing I was a heavy drinker, as that's the culture. It is common here for people to go out to dinner and have two drinks while they're waiting for a table, two or three with dinner, and then have a dessert drink. That doesn't even count how often people go out for a "nightcap" after dinner. In other states, the idea of consuming five drinks or more while out for dinner would be ridiculous, but it is the norm here.

But Dh and I went low carb several years ago, and I dropped a lot of weight. Limiting alcohol intake was a big part of that. Now, Dh and I have cocktails while on vacation or at special dinners out (like for an anniversary), and that's it.

As Lisa said, alcohol is a sleep disruptor. And since I have mostly abstained, I have found that my mood, attitude, and overall health has improved. So bravo to you for doing the best thing for yourself, regardless of the social judgement that sometimes accompanies those choices.

anchie

Veteran

Congratulations! Stop drinking alcohol was my new year resolution for 2019 and I never looked back. Best decision ever. But 5 years in and I am still getting alcohol related presents like wine bottles and hard liquor wich completely baffles me.

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