1/4 shades of grey: my hair woes - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

1/4 shades of grey: my hair woes

catgirl

Veteran

I'm stuck in Boston due to the snow and can't even get out of the house where we are staying - so I finally have a moment to post for hair advice. Due to schedule issues, I have not been to the stylist since early November and my hair is now 1/4 grown out roots. Here's a picture of how it looks - the greys are ironically almost optic white.

I feel like just letting it go at this point and seeing how much it ages me. I am about to turn 49 but am routinely told I look younger. My nephew just said to me very sweetly, "why is your hair so white when you're only 30?"

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

General

53 replies

Latest reply was from kellygirl

catgirl

Veteran

Here is the rest of my post:

I kind of worry that if I wait till my face matches the hair I will age 20 years overnight. I am not overly hung up on looking my age but I don't want to look older than my age! I will probably continue to sport an edgy cut to offset the white.

All thoughts and advice and experiences appreciated!

old chic

You look great as you are, and I don't see the greys as a problem. But I also love your edgy, graphic cut -- and I think haircuts like that look most striking when they are one stark color, whatever that is. As to waiting until the face matches the hair, I think moving to grey or white at that point will actually make your face look younger.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I kind of like edgy colors on your hair to go with your clothes. Not a huge fan of the greys. Of course I'm 48 and hating any grey hair that I see ... I know many people work with the look very well.

Anonymous

I hate my white hairs, so I cover them up. I'm no help to you about deciding to go gray, as that's not my plan for the foreseeable future, and I'm in my 50s.

AM

Veteran

Highly personal. But it is only hair. I would probably grow it out just for fun ... I would be so curious to see these changes. I also love salt and peppa.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gosh. I think you look beautiful.

I am not much help on this. After debating (you might recall) and considering going grey last year, I decided in the end to wait; we let it grow out for about 3 months and it turned out there was not yet as much grey as my stylist had supposed, so it was just that sort of washed out dirty dishwater colour. Which is what I wanted to avoid. Silver's one thing, salt and pepper is one thing, white is one thing, but bleah is nothing.

Yours wouldn't grow out like that, and I think you'd look killer cool with silver or silver streaks...(very UWP) -- but I also fully understand the wish to maintain dark hair for a while, and it still suits you really well.

MsMaven

Veteran

Welcome to the "Should I? or Shouldn't I?" Going Gray Group.

I vote you keep coloring it for now and for another 5-10 years and see how you feel about it then. My opinion is that you don't seem to have enough gray or white hair yet.

Will it change how people react to your new "maturity" at work? My niece is a dark brunette who is going gray even though she's in her early 30s. She's letting it grow because she's and MD and looking older is a benefit for her. I have friend who is a therapist and still working in her early 70s. She's going to keep coloring it as long as she works--says no way will she stop until then.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

How are you feeling about colouring it? If you enjoy or don't mind the process then imo keep colouring while you can. You may get to a point where the colour starts to look wrong (that's when the hairdressers tried to turn me into a blonde, which so didn't work on me).

If the same happens to you, you will probably welcome the grey/white. It looks far better next to my 65 year old skin than any colour does

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I missed my last hair appt. due to the snow, and I'll be practically running there and pulling other people out of the chair this Wednesday. Going all gray is a very personal decision and some people look fabulous in that hair color. I think if you have cool tones to your skin and if it's coming in at a pretty shade then trying it out might be nice. But if it's looking all wiry and dull and resembles the color of dirty dishwater (like my gray does) then no way.

Classically Casual

Veteran

I like it! Mother Nature may provide you with a very cool stripey effect.

(Our dog has 3 colors of hair...more than one women has commented how expensive it would be to get those colors in a salon.). I quizzed random people when I was your age about staying natural. I didn't trust people who knew me to give objective advice. And most of all my job didn't require that I color my hair. So I've been steadily getting greyer for quite awhile.

You'll be striking no matter what you decide. And sorry that you're trapped by all the snow...

Sal

Veteran

Not giving advice on this one...only edgy cool haircuts can work on grey, black, blue or salt and pepper hair....

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I would say to try it. But I actually really do admire it when people have good looking styled gray or graying hair. Even more so than those who I can tell are obviously dying or bleaching it. But it's because once I learn of the health implications of things, it can ruin it for me. I don't really eat sugar or fried foods either. Or paint my fingernails. Or use commercial sun screens. I just don't like putting cancer causing chemicals on my body. Once I looked up the chemicals being used to highlight or color my hair I had to decide if it was really worth continuing. For me it didn't seem worth the health risks. Now whenever I see others who are dying their hair routinely I can't help but think of that.

So, I guess if there were some safer ways to color your hair (I've used lemon juice to lighten mine before but don't bother any more) then it would make it an easier choice to me. I'm not sure what's available for dark hair, other than Argan oil and taking magnesium supplements - both which are supposed to help with slowing down the graying process. And I use both and feel like it does make a difference.

Day Vies

Veteran

Una - I think you'll be fine if you let it go. I do think a razor sharp cut (medium length or super short with long angled bangs) is in order. I don't think gray hair ages when the woman in question hasn't let her personal style slide. Personally I think it can be a fabulously edgy accessory that says "screw you" to the status quo.

Anonymous

I envy those who can rock gray hair or even salt and pepper. I am not one of them. But looks great on you!

deb

Veteran

Una, you could really pull the silver/grey/white off. You already dress dramatically and I think it will add one more dimension to your style.

Elle

Veteran

I think your wait and see plan makes sense. You may like the way the gray comes in and keep it natural (saving big $$$ on coloring.) And if you don't like the look,it is easy to color again. It's all about how you feel...

Mochi

Veteran

You're in Boston? Get out of town! (Or not, apparently.) Not literally, right...a bit out in the 'burbs, right? This city is a madhouse this past week. We've been slammed. You probably have more gray hairs now than before you arrived! If you want to get some coffee or lunch downtown, though, and can deal with the snow, let me know...

I'm trying to figure out my gray situation myself. My hair is dark but not as black as yours, so I'm trying to rationalize my increasing number of hairs by telling myself they're softly and discreetly brightening my entire look. Who knows, maybe they are. I am just less likely to want to dye my hair nowadays--it's tough on my already damaged, dry hair. Recently I did put in a light violet rinse to cover some of the gray in a fun way. Actually only two people even noticed it (not including DH).

Nebraskim

Veteran

At 59, with hair similar to yours, I'm at the same stage of graying. I am growing it out after years of coloring it. And I hate it. I feel it will age me 20 years. I am routinely placed as being in my mid40s. I do not want to look 70. But when I mentioned on Facebook about coloring my hair it was literally a 50 comment firestorm about the importance of "aging gracefully" and "letting go" and how "once you're in your 50s and 60s, you don't need to succumb to fashion pressure." The hell. Then there was the backlash string of "it's your hair, do what makes you happy." So I'm going to wait a couple more months but if it's not lovely optic white or salt and pepper, but is as I suspect, the look of mouse carcasses glued to my head, I'm going back to the stylist for new color.

So I'm no help, just a commiserator.

Peri

Veteran

One of my favorite looks is when very dark hair is mixed about 50/50 with white or silver so it turns kind of pewter looking...and then is worn with a very edgy chic cut. I love that! For that, it almost seems like you don't yet have enough white. So that may be one vote for saving that look for the future!

But, that's the great thing about hair color, you can do it any time. No harm in letting this go on and seeing how you feel in a month.

About looking older, there is a blog, Highland Fashionista, and she grew out her grey. It is mixed like that and she looks fantastic. She wrote about it a year or so ago.

Thistle

Veteran

I think silver streaks would be totally UWP. But only you can decide if you want to go for it. You can always color it again if it's not you.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh, this is so personal and so loaded for many of us, isn't it?

I think you'd probably look fab with they greys coming in, but you have the kind of hair that I think wears it particularly well. I like grey hair that is sleek and straight and cut in a dramatic cut, and I can see you rocking that look. I also like the curly look that Shevia sports so well, I just don't think my own wavy, frizzy hair will look great with greys poking through, so I'm resisting.

I also think you have the coloring and young skin that make it look cool and intentional. I'm envious! I think I would immediately age 10 years in people's eyes if I stopped coloring my hair. But I didn't exactly win the genetic lottery when it comes to smooth, wrinkle-free, spot-free, young looking skin.

So if you're up for it, I think you'd be the perfect candidate for a great grey look. It's really a question of whether you feel it's time!

Marlene

Veteran

I would say wait. I just had this very conversation today with my stylist. I am also about the same amount of gray and at the stage where I am wondering if/when it is time to go gray.

Right now, I think there is not enough gray to look like its a deliberate style choice....would just look meh. I fully plan to go totally gray at some point but I am waiting until I am closer to 80 or 90% gray. And I will add in silver streaks to help with the transition. It's just this middle ground stage that is so puzzling!

Gaylene

Veteran

To grey, or not to grey, is only a very small component of our personal style, yet seems to be more controversial than even skirted leggings.

I think coloring one's hair ought to be done for fun, not because of pressure or fear of looking "older". I'll admit, too, that I really don't like it when women complain that their natural shade is "ugly" and must be hidden by an artificial shade. Healthy, shiny hair is attractive hair; dry, overly processed hair is not--and using phrases like "dirty dishwater" to describe a shade is like calling the color citron "pukey green". If you don't like the shade, that's fine, but you do a disservice to all those who love citron in their wardrobe by using a disparaging label.

And, just another thought. The youngsters at the super trendy hair place that I inadvertently walked into in our new location universally pronounced my greying hair very "modern". Seems like their mothers all insist on coloring, while the daughters, like all daughters throughout time, insist that they will never be like their mothers. Grey hair, apparently, is cool--at least for now.

catgirl

Veteran

Thanks for all the feedback! My 76 year old mother was recently told her all white hair was modern, which made us laugh a bit... She said she never thought of her ancestors as modern!

I am not sure this picture accurately depicts the amount of white I have. It's more like silver highlights but its mostly roots right now.

It's good to hear the experiences of others. I am still debating what to do but I am leaning toward letting it grow out and seeing the true effect. It will save money and may look cool, and if not, I'll go back to ash blue from top to
bottom, since it will be all grown out.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I've got some pins on this board, most ladies on it have gray hair. I think salt & pepper and gray can look amazing but my impression is that you don't have enough of it, yet. I'd give it another few years, you pick the time when you want to "check" again. Is it another 2 years, another 3 or 5?

My hair is not graying at all. So you can take that advice with a grain of salt. (and pepper haha). Honestly if I could trade a younger looking face for my un-gray hair, I would in a heartbeat. No one thinks I look younger. And if everyone thinks you look younger, you should work that for as long as you can.

ETA -- oops I see you've decided to let it grow out. And I do see how the picture might not tell the whole story.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Hmm. Will it age you? Well yes, in a way. People that aren't paying all that much attention will naturally assume you are older. People that know you well with get used to it and you will just seem like you. I was just recognized on the street yesterday by someone I haven't seen in 15 years. She said I look exactly the same but with grey hair. (So untrue, but she did recognize me in an instant.) In the end it is just hair and can be changed in a flash (well a few hours anyway). I say go for it and you can always go back to blue!

eta Thanks Janet!

Anonymous

Una, I'm on Team not enough silver yet. Just wait until your son starts driving. Those greys will take over in no time

Lulu

(website)

Can't see your pic but an edgy cut can work, also doing highlights, that is what I did. Grey is not what it used to be. Katy Perry and Kelly Osburne sport it, granted they have wigs! Seriously, I got so tired of dying my hair and highlights did it.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

It's so funny to me to read the experiences of those who are waiting till they get a critical mass of gray to go natural. I've resisted coloring my hair, but as it gets more gray, I'm questioning my decision, thinking it's looking more drab! Which is to say: I have no idea! But I have the feeling you'll look fab whatever you decide to do. You have such great style.

12