It's hard to practice restraint--whether you are talking food, clothes, or whatever it is you are desiring at the time. I think others have said it well--12x12 is not the goal; the goal is to change a behavioral response when you see something that you like. In my case, I could always justify WHY I ought to buy something that excited my senses or fit me perfectly. The problem was that too many items just sat in my closet after I was over the first flush of excitement because they lost their luster as soon as something new came along. Purging was part of the problem; it made me feel good and gave me a justification for buying newer and "better" items. Purging wiped the slate clean so I could start over knowing this time I'd get it right.
I kept asking myself these question when I was faced with wanting something:
(1) Do I need to buy everything that fits me perfectly or looks good on me? Why not let someone else enjoy the item if I already have what I need? Hoarding and being greedy are not attractive qualities.
(2) What makes this the "perfect" item? Perfection is rarely found in man or nature, so why is it so common in clothes--or shoes--or handbags--or whatever it is that I'm trying to justify?
(3) How many of ___ does one woman really NEED? See "hoarding and greed" above and add a dose of "glut".
(4) If I wasn't willing to pay full price, why is the item so desirable now that it is 50% off? And those metaphors--"pouncing", "grabbing", "stalking"... Really, is that a logical way to create a functional wardrobe, or do those terms describe an aggressive, visceral, "look-at-what-I-won" approach to accumulating stuff?
(5) Does boredom reside in an item or is it in me? This question really hit home; if I'm bored, or restless, or unhappy, I'm a prime candidate for retail therapy. Will acquiring more stuff fix whatever is bothering me? Or do I want to buy thoughtfully and carefully so that I get maximum pleasure from the item for a long time, or, conversely, feel calm and in control when I decide to forgo that particular purchase.
We live in a society that encourages consumption and, for most of us, it seems natural to have what we want. But discipline has its rewards as well--a healthier body and a better attitude towards accumulating material goods. At least that's how I chose to look at it when I was tempted to grab my credit card to haul home the newest shiny bauble.
