Thanks everyone for your insightful comments! I do have a lot of help--full time nanny, housekeeper every other week, but life is still pretty busy. I guess I learned it from my mom...she loves to tell me that when I was five I said to her, "Life is a rush." She always had a million things she was doing but seemed to juggle it all so well.
I should cut back on social and extracurricular activities, but it's hard to know which ones. DD has been going to ballet for the past 3 years and it's one of the only times she sees some of her friends she's known since she was a baby. I think she'd probably only do this for another year or two, so it's kind of nice to let her be a "ballerina" while she's still into the princess/ballerina phase--she loves twirling around. And she's an introvert like me, so it's useful for her to learn how to perform in front of others. The chess thing--she was the one who got into it at school...she likes playing, and likes winning trophies at tournaments. We don't normally do chess on Saturdays, but agreed to do it just this fall. Sundays they both have swimming lessons and also have been doing that since they were about 1. DH and I both feel that swimming is an important life skill to have, and we love scuba diving & kayaking...the kids really enjoy swimming & snorkeling when we're on vacation. This summer DD and DS1 went to Mandarin camp for four weeks and really learned a lot, so we're having them go there once a week for an hour so they don't forget what they learned. And they both have gymnastics once a week (although DD hasn't started yet because she broke her arm). I think either of those might be on the chopping block next semester if it feels too busy. Birthday parties and playdates/dinner dates--well we do have a lot of those, but try to be selective. DH and I feel that we should make an effort though, so that DD and DS1 can have friends. We do tend to hang out with the same couple of families most of the time and our kids are similar ages which is nice.
I agree, I didn't intend for yesterday to be so busy...I need fewer of those MRALAC (Mom Running Around Like a Chicken) days. Normally I can handle it but I think forgetting about chess and then having to go in to work really threw the whole schedule off. Today was much better--much more relaxed. I woke up with DS2 at 6:45, but DH took the kids from 8-10 and let me sleep in (aahh...bliss), then he cooked pancakes and bacon and we had brunch. He wasn't feeling well and was pretty tired, so I let him take a nap and drove the kids to swimming lessons (DD's lesson is on hold because of her cast, so only DS1 had a lesson today). Then I picked up some McD's happy meals (hey, 3 by myself = drive thru w/o guilt) and we ate in the car while DS2 napped. Then I took them to the library and then the park next door where they played in the creek and redwood trees. Back to our house at 4:30 and they played in the backyard doing somersaults across the lawn. DH made dinner, then afterward he played a game of chess with DD. No bath tonight (switching to every other day baths has made bedtime easier), and even with bedtime stories managed to get them in bed just after 8 (normally I'm struggling to get them in bed by 8:30).
As for the camo, well what can I say. My DH poison eye list now consists of
1) faux fur
2) leopard print
3) camouflage
4) bright floral pants
I will have to be very selective about my man-repeller wear--this list is getting longer! He is mostly complimentary of what I wear, but those looks really seem to bring out his opinionated side. I don't feel that camo is that integral to my style, so I don't think I'll try to wear it around him (though if he hated polka dots there would be no question I'd still wear them!). I do have one or two looks I want to try first to see if I can make them work with my style (more like ladylike huntress); if not then I'll post them on the style exchange.
Thanks again for your input, it really means a lot to me!