WIW 6/2-3, 5/28: More "Overdressed for MOTG" outfits - YouLookFab Forum

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WIW 6/2-3, 5/28: More "Overdressed for MOTG" outfits

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Still struggling with figuring out MOTG (mom on the go) looks. I still feel like I don't really have much between super casual loungewear type T-shirts and fleece, and dressed-down workwear. Here are my three latest MOTG outfits. All of these were comfortable and I was able to do everything with the kids, but they still felt a little overdressed compared to everyone else. I feel like maybe I'm starting to turn into my mother, who always was overdressed (much to my & my sisters' embarrassment) and wore high heels all the time, as if every day was a gala. We always tended to underdress because of her, and now look at me. LOL!

1-2. I knew this dress was overkill, but I put on some matching navy shorts underneath and it was fine for rolling around on the floor with DS at Music Together, watching DD's first ballet performance, and playing at the park--it was a social for parents and kids from the new school DD will be attending next fall when she starts kindergarten, and I was definitely the dressiest parent. The last time I wore this dress was to a kid's birthday party, so it seems like MOTG is the only opportunity I have to pull this dress out! It's actually a comfy summer cotton dress and works for MOTG with the shorts on underneath, it just looks really fancy.
Jason Wu for Target navy poplin dress and navy shorts
Red bow belt (sorry it's crooked in the pics)
Easy Spirit nude pumps
WHBM red snakeskin handbag

3-4. To take the kids to swim lessons and to the playground. It's basically jeans and a tank and ballet flats, but it still seems dressy to me.
Classiques Entier teal and black ruched tank
AG garnet snakeskin skinny jeans
Stuart Weitzman garnet ballet flats
Marc by Marc Jacobs Dotty Snake bag
Tahari black leather jacket

5. To a neighbor's backyard BBQ dinner. This one I was trying a waist surrender top like Rita suggested in my MOTG angst thread, but I wonder if it makes me look fat. Still felt overdressed compared to all the neighbors.
Tahari black leather jacket
Ella Moss grey and black peacock print top
Gap Always Skinny jeans
Stuart Weitzman black ballet flats
WHBM black pendant
Le Sak black purse (gift from sister)

What do you think? Still too dressy for MOTG, or to hell with the environmental norm as long as the clothes are comfortable?

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18 replies

Latest reply was from

Kiwichik

Veteran

Great MOTG outfits. I think the dress would have a slightly more casual vibe with ballet flats Or flat sandals.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I'm kind of laughing at your "turning into your mother" comment - my mother's style is quite boho and I find myself lately turning to some of that. Maybe it's just in our genes Natalie!

Anyway...IMO all three of looks are very appropriate MOTG outfits. Yes #1 to some people would be too dressy because it is a DRESS, but I think this is perfect. Rita asked me in one of my threads if I wear dress as part of my MOTG capsule because they tend to look good on me. I don't but I have now begun to wonder why not? I'm comfortable in dresses, for the most part they work for me, so why can't we wear them in a more casual setting? The dress in 1/2 is not a super dressy dress and is just fine. Outfits 3 and 4 are totally MOTG appropriate and I don't think that the tank and jeans outfit is to dressy at all. And Natalie you definitely do NOT look fat in the waist surrendering top!

Your MOTG concerns are like me with my casual Fridays at work - the environmental norm in some of these instances is just too casual for me and my liking and I'm going to dress for what suits ME. Wear what makes you happy and stop stressing out about what other people are wearing - you're beautiful. Show it off!

Jewell

Veteran

DH likes to tease me about my casual looks being somewhat on the glam side, so I can relate to your struggles to not look overdressed.

I agree with Kiwichik, the dress would look much more casual worn with ballet flats or flat sandals. The less flashy, the better. I also think the belt and handbag add to the dressiness factor, so those are some other simple swaps that could dress down this look. I think the second and third outfits are casual while staying true to your fab style- not overdressed at all!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

So funny, Natalie. I am turning into my mother, too. In her old age (before she broke her ankle) she started lusting after heeled booties!! She always rocked a button down like nobody's business and lo and behold I am stocking up on them this season like crazy!

I think all of these are good MOTG outfits. The dress maybe reads as a bit "ladylike" rather than dressy, which might be part of the problem, although I know that ladylike is very much part of your style. So maybe it needs something a little less in that line to make it feel comfortable in some MOTG settings. However, for a kids' birthday party or ballet performance, I think it is perfect!

The other two are perfect MOTG formulas and could take you anywhere with the kids!

Echoing Shannon about trying to ignore the environmental norm. People will make comments - until they stop making comments. You can only control how nicely you respond, LOL!

Having said that, sometimes it just feels rude to stick out too much, and if you're worried about that (i.e. you might be stealing somebody else's show) then I'd go with the closest approximation to the norm that you can go while still being true to yourself. If that makes any sense at all!

I am typically (though not always) dressier than many MOTG that I see on the streets; dressier AND more stylish than SOME of my friends; less hip and more conservative looking than other friends; dressier and more stylish than my workmates (though I work from home I see them via videoconferencing every day); younger looking than most of the people my age; older looking (because I AM older) than my daughter's friends' parents; and so on. But honestly, at this point it's all I can do to try to figure out my own style (feeling very perplexed about it at the moment) and so I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing - and hope for the best.

catgirl

Veteran

The second and third looks are not what I imagine as overdressed at all, and we all know I live in the most casual, worst dressed city! LOL. The first outfit does seem dressy to me, because the dress itself is not that casual and the shoes take it up a notch. Maybe with leggings and flats, as others have said?

Still, you should be YOU! You know how I feel about environmental norms. Plus I think there is a difference between being dressed for a gala every day vs. being on the nicer end of suitable and appropriate. A nice pair of jeans and a pretty top, like you are wearing in 3 and 4, can't get THAT much more casual.

christieanne

Veteran

I love your jeans and tanks outfits - perfectly MOTG and casual. What were the neighbors wearing? I don't think you want to get too far away from what you love just to fit in. Let them step it up a bit. I do know what you mean though and you want occasion/friend appropriate outfits.
I think the dress is very cute but the heels, bag and belt dress it up. If you did a flat shoe and cross body or even a white bag/natural straw bag (do you have one?) it might be more casual.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I think the last two looks are perfect! Comfy, interesting, and still you!

I think the reason why #1 feels too dressy is because there is structure everywhere. Lose the belt, put on some low brown sandals, a slouchy cardigan, and a hobo bag, and you're back to vintage-y casual.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Thanks Kiwichick, Shannon, Jewell, Suz, Una, Christianne, and Rae. All great suggestions. Yes it seems I need more casual footwear and accessories. I do have a matching JWT straw handbag that I can use, and a red cardigan (or denim jacket). I will get some leggings to start wearing under my dresses (which will be great because it will let me use dresses for rolling in the dirt with the kids without worrying about exposure). And I will look for a pair of flat sandals (if anyone has any suggestions, let me know). I think those will be the perfect ways to dress down the first dress! And next time I probably won't wear the necklace with the third outfit. And perhaps the black leather jacket is what is making me feel like the second two outfits are too dressy, so I could swap it out for a denim jacket. Does anyone wear black denim jackets? I have light, dark and white denim jackets but I haven't seen anyone wearing a black pair.

I will try harder to ignore the environmental norm, although when you're trying to fit into a group of other parents (like making friends with the families at the new school) I feel like I should try to dress more like them. I worry that looking too dressed up makes you look less approachable and might make them feel intimidated. Although, I think most of them are more well off than we are and I did notice some designer sunglasses and handbags and Tory Burch flip flops etc. I feel like there is a casual side of my style that needs to be developed further and these suggestions are just the right start for me--thanks!

cciele

Veteran

To me, your outfits with blue denim read the most casual -- so I would try to incorporate a piece of blue denim (not dark though) in each outfit for practice Also, acknowledging Rae's statement about structure -- try to have an element of slouchiness in each outfit helps.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Just echoing everyone that you look great and perfectly occasion-appropriate. Don't let the environmental norm let you question your own sense of style or your own goals/preferences!

You are *not* turning into your mother yet; we'll let you know when we see it happen!
(My mother is meanwhile turning into me-ish, which is a bit more worrying, IMO!)

Kirti

(website)

Veteran

I don't think you look very overdressed, but I do like the suggestion of casual ballet flats, denim jackets or vests to dress down these outfits a bit

Sylvie

Veteran

I thought the last two outfits were perfectly appropriate for MOTG. With the first outfit, I would lose the heels and go down to 1-2 inch sandals to make it a little more casual.

My opinion is that you should only worry about being overdressed if it stops you from participating in activites. I would find it hard to bend down, crouch, crawl, hike over uneven terrain if I'm wearing high heels or wovens or a skirt. Judgmental people will equate dressed up + unable to do certain things to being prissy and high maintenance. However if you're dressed up + able to participate in all group activities, you have their acceptance, not that I'm saying you need it.

Your idea of wearing leggings beneath your dresses is a good one. Also if you don't have any yet, add some knit dresses into your wardrobe. Knit dress + sandals/boots + denim jacket has helped me feel put together while still fitting in in the Bay area. I think your leather jacket is fine. For #2/#3, your CE top will read as dressier than a cotton casual top, so it's up to you as to how casual you want to push it.

In the end, if you feel comfortable and you can play with your kids, wear what you want. People will get used to it, right?

harmonica

Veteran

you've got great input already, so i'll be short - all of them are great MOTG outfits, but #1 seems a bit more dressy, but if the dress and shoes doesn't stand in the way - go for it! I also support Suz on her thoughts of environmental adjustment. Have fun - I try to incorporate a hint of stylishness as MOTG too. But it all depends on what we are doing, i.e playground, gardening, visiting friends, hiking, birthday party.. some outfits have to be very easy and put up with smudge. My next style step will also be to take a closer look at my MOTG wardrobe + biking / work out wardrobe (just have to start working out... ;-))

ETA: you don't seem to wear a lot of make-up and that adds to a casual and easy look, not high maintenance

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I think 5 is perfect, no problems here. If you add a less structured bag in 1, and a more casual shoe like a flattish sandal or ballet flat, that will make it less formal. I like #4 but the colors feel heavy for spring. Perhaps lighten it up a bit somehow?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Natalie! What are your talking about? You have an amazing MOTG style. Look at #3 and #5. You've also sported so many outfits with jeans and Converse. So fab!

sarah

Veteran

Exactly what Una said, so I won't repeat it.

Anonymous

It would be fun to see you develop your casual, MOTG style! What about a 90's skirt with a T-shirt, denim jacket and flat sandals? Do you have some slouchy handbags, like the ones in Angie's GOTG post this morning? I really like the waist surrender on you too, kudos for giving that a try!

ETA: I forgot to say how much I like 3-5! I'm not sure I would wear the Jason Wu dress to "roll around on the floor in" though, even with shorts underneath.

Anonymous

For # 1, you just need a jean jacket, flat gladiator sandals, no belt and an unstructured bag and you are in business, IMO, but it looks really nice as is. 2 and 3 look really nice and casual.