My mother finds it completely incomprehensible that there are people who go through life without owning a watch. Given that this is a woman who doesn't understand that mobile phones only work if you do, in fact, turn them on, it is hardly surprising that she also doesn't understand how a phone can replace a timepiece.

She has it in her head that she wants to buy me a watch. I don't wear a watch. I have had this conversation with her about 17 times but she is irretrievably convinced that if I HAD a watch, I would wear a watch. So.

Watches - anyone? Do you go for timeless classic on the assumption that you are probably never going to fork out cash for a watch ever again - or do you go for something fashionable you might actually wear?

She is bound and determined to buy it from here (because my brother's watch came from there - some sort of sibling equality issue - who knows) so that limits choices a little bit - though they certainly have a mind boggling range of watches.

I am particularly loving white straps - This Marc Jacobs number is gorgeous and I also like this Michael Kors - but... white. I am basically a dirt magnet. Unfailingly, if there is mud/dirt/grime I WILL attract it. And pen. Within 10 minutes (literally) of buying a gorgeous new bag from Accessorise I had marked it with blue biro. All the more baffling is the fact that I had not touched a blue biro. So white. Not the best idea.

So probably something with a metal strap is better. But they all remind me of my Nan. And while I am all about the vintage (as mentioned on here previously) my Nan is not exactly my fashion icon.

Help? No really... help. Whatever I choose I WILL have to wear it - at least whenever mum might pop round. Which is usually unannounced.

Heeeelllppp!