Absolutely nothing! But of course it depends on what your goals and intentions are. I agree that IF it would be beneficial to you (sad, I know) to look younger at work, or older (through hairstyle & clothing rather than making yourself look 'haggard'...lol!), then it can't hurt. Personally, though, I'm comfortable with my age and sharing that (40)- and I definitely am more drawn to modern classic styles than I was in my early 20s. I also hate the overtly bombshell look that many young single women seem to think they must adhere to - or perhaps that is their taste at the time of their life subconsciously. Long-winded way of saying be proud of your age (you earned it, ladies!), but I wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to appear more 'youthful'. Not a fan of plastic surgery, though.

I like to appear youthful and have a young attitude, but I have no intention of going through plastic surgery. It's hard enough to go through necessary surgery! I know because I've undergone 2 surgical procedures this year. I'm also trying to decide if I'm going to color my hair or not. I'm on the verge of having highlights put in this weekend before going to FL for a family reunion, but have not committed to it. I may just get my hair trimmed.

"Age X" doesn't have a standard look, so I guess my theory is that no one can ever look any age!

Since it's been brought up, I had a nip/tuck about a year ago and am super happy with the results. I also color my hair and spend an unreasonable amount of time in the gym. I'm not trying to look young, though. I'm just trying to look good, which I think is slightly different. I assume I look my age (53) and I'm always surprised when somebody says something like "Oh, you look too young to have a son in the Marines" or something similar.

In other words, Team Jonesy and Rae.

I don't mind looking my age (50ish) the way I'm doing it, but I sure as heck don't care to look my mom's, and I see a lot of people whose version of my age that just looks like total surrender or total age denial. I find both rather sad. But it does get tricky over 40 to hit that happy place.

just a question for you ladies: I almost never look at the age in my patient's chart and am sometimes taken aback with how 'young' they are. I usually compliment them by saying they ' look good for their age'. or that I might not have been able to guess thier age without looking at the chart. I've never had anyone get upset at me by these statements. But if someone really 'looks good for their age' is it wrong to say so?

Sona, speaking just for myself, that wouldn't bother me at all and I'd only take it as a compliment.

Oh, this question hits such a nerve with me. I'll be 63 in a couple of weeks but I grimace whenever I get "complimented" on how I don't "look my age"-- whatever that is supposed to mean. Being an older woman suits me just fine. I don't have to pay to put highlights in my hair (the "sparkles" are free!) and I love having "laugh lines" (not wrinkles) around my eyes and mouth. And I finally have the confidence and funds to pull off that look of sophisticated elegance that I so desired when I was in my twenties and thirties.

But, as I am writing this, one of my dearest friends is busy having surgery to "refresh" her face by having liposuction from her midsection which will be then used to provide fat injections in her lovely face. She has already had Botox and collagen injections but still is not happy with what she sees in the mirror. She desperately wants people to think she is "younger" than her 60 years. Will that surgery give her what she wants? I have my doubts.

I want a world where the definition of beauty gets expanded to something beyond the bland look of a teenager. I'm stunned at the beauty of women like Helen Mirren, Susan Sarandon, Judi Dench, Jane Fonda, Kate Hepburn, and Diane Keaton. With those women as an inspiration, why would I want to look younger? So tell me I'm an attractive 60+, and you'll get a big smile. Tell me that I don't look 60, and you're more than likely to just get an exasperated sigh.

Sona;
FWIW, my mom, age 87, gets totally p.o.'d when current doctor tells her she looks or is doing well "for her age" because she interprets it to be a backhanded compliment. (This topic came up this week.) And actually, I don't think my mom is doing all that well using objective criteria not related to age as I am seeing a lot of evidence of decline. It also makes me wonder whether her doctor is not taking some of her ailments seriously or discounting many things due to her age that maybe a gerontologist would not. My mom's face looks pretty good and skin is soft, however!

Reading this, I remember when I had my first real job right out of college, just turned 22, and my male boss was 32 and had a few gray hairs around his temples and the start of crows feet around his eyes when he laughed. I remember thinking he was so much older than me at the time, not just older -- but old. I laugh to myself thinking about it now. It is all so relative!

I think we can be too sensitive about aging and about how younger people look at those who are older, when it's in a way that has no intention of being hurtful or expressing ageism.

ETA: I remember the first time I was called "ma'am," in my early 20's, by a teenage gas station attendant, and feeling taken aback and feeling insulted. I laugh at myself over that now, too.

I agree with: 'If you look stylish - your age is always the perfect number". And, also Rae's comment that: "Age X" doesn't hae a standard look". That being said, I can't say that I mind when people tell me that I look younger than I am. I just turned 49 and had people say that I looked to young to have a daughter getting married? I don't really get that because you could be in your mid thirties and have a daughter getting married. I just take it as a compliment, though. I guess I am lucky because when I was a teenager, everyone thought I was older, which came in handy... lol I've never minded telling someone my actual age, though, either.

Hope this doesn't sound too harsh, Sona, but here goes (just my two cents): I think it's great to say "You are looking well" or something general like that, rather than tying it to age. To me, it sounds sort of like "You're pretty smart, for a woman." In other words, society associates the condition (being older or being a woman) with a deficit so someone who has that deficit but is still somehow "passing muster" in the eyes of the commenter is to be commended or is the exception to the rule.

Of course this is just my perception. Many others would be flattered or happy!

This is a great topic, and I look forward to going back and reading all the responses. There is nothing wrong with looking your age. It's probably hardest when one looks too young to be in a position of authority in order to gain respect and be taken seriously. I taught 6th graders just out of college and looked as young and was smaller than many of them. It was bad enough teaching grade school. I was glad that I didn't have highschool students.
I love what Gaylene wrote. Society puts a lot of pressure on women especially to look young. As millions of us Baby Boomers age into the 60's and beyond, I hope that will change.

Sona, if you told me I looked good for 53, I might well smile and (paraphrasing Gloria Steinem) tell you, "This is what 53 looks like!' I tend to agree with Jonesy that it's best to just say "you look good," and leave it at that.

Because honestly, I think we (general "we") do have in our head that a woman in her 50s is going to be "old-looking," and in general I don't think that's really true any more! So perhaps it's not that we good-looking 50-somethings are particularly young-looking, it's just that people expect us to look older than we really do.

Does that make any sense?

I have no trouble "looking my age" in some respects. As you all know, I wear very little makeup and my face is lined with crows' feet from years spent leading canoe trips in the summer times and squinting into the sun. But I do work very hard to stay in shape (well, as hard as I have time to). Is that because I want to look "young"? I think not, but it has a lot to do with trying to stay healthy as I age and because I do think a fit body is beautiful. Similarly, I try to have an active lifestyle (by biking to work year-round, for example) - some would say that my lifestyle is "younger" than my years (nearing 48), but my motivation relates to health and ethical reasons related to the environment. So, I guess in some senses I am trying to fight the aging process, but I think I'm doing it for health reasons, rather than because I want to "look young". That said, I was quite amused when I was carded two years ago ; )

It's no big deal if someone thinks I look my age but it is painful when they think I am older and now that so many women take advantage of botox, fillers, lasers...etc. With all that and the photo fixing people start associating a younger look to older ages and with that you can easily look older than your age now days in comparison.

I prefer to tell people outright what my age is because I am sensitive and prefer no guessing games.

My hubs is nearing 40 now and has always been told he looks younger than he is because he has a youthful face and is slimmer than the average males of similar age. He has a t-shirt that reads "This is what 40 looks like," and it's always a conversation starter.

He's finally getting grays in his hair (or as I say, becoming The Silver Fox!) and various people suggest he dye his hair to look younger. He doesn't want the hassle and we both sort of look forward to him having some crazy/wild Einstein hair. Still, I never look at him and think, "Wow, he looks 40."

It is okay to look your age.

Age, weight, dress size, years of education and/or income are all simply "numbers" & have no bearing on whether an individual is kind, giving, considerate & an all around good soul

Yes, being told one looks good "for one's age" is offensive, based on the idea that said age is supposed to look bad.

And I think we all have different ideas of what 40 (or 50 or 60 and so on) is "supposed" to look like. Most women (on boards less accepting and honest than here) will insist they look younger than their age, which leads me to believe that most women then have no idea what their age is supposed to look like! For some reason, many people assume that as soon as a woman hits 40 (or 35 or 60 or whatever age), they are supposed to have a certain haircut, a certain manner, a certain style and even a certain body type. That is simply ridiculous.

I hope to always look alive and vital and interesting and happy to be here. I always want to look my best, whatever my age, but that means being me and not striving to "pass" for an age I'm not. What does 41 look like (ha, I had to stop and do the math for a minute, as I've been forgetting my age since I was in my early 20's)? Whatever I happen to see in the mirror today.

Touche Echo!

LOL re: women on other boards who insist they look younger - yes, I've seen that & it is a bit sad.

What or who am I supposed to look like at age 53? Madonna?

I don't think it's a faux pas for someone to correctly guess my age. I think it's a faux pas to make someone guess by trying to keep it a secret!

Your age is your age. How you portray it is you. Great comments all around, I especially relate to Jonesy, Janet and Claudia's comments ( I was M'aamed by a Marine who worked for me when I was in my early 30's and I was aghast. I was still being id'd for alcohol!!) Rae - my husband is 50 and looks MUCH younger (who mentioned Asians don't visibly age as quickly? Yep. he only has a few greys and 0 wrinkles.)
I'm not a fan in general of guessing ages as I fear offending someone by going too far in the wrong direction.

So many great thoughts here!

My eyes have been opened to the "back-handed compliment". Interesting. Thanks for sharing - Gaylene, I think you started that thought process.

Suz, LOVE your comment. Can I clone you?

If you are happy in your your own skin, confidant, have a good sense of style - you are going to look the perfect age, dress your age - whatever that means. It's open to subjective interpretation.

I just had to check back in! Loving all the comments. I remember being called ma'am when I reached age 28 and I was unhappy at the time but my attitude has changed the longer I have lived. I just want to be healthy and joyful in my life. Who cares what age we are anyway? We should not allow ourselves to be defined by our age.

Late to the party -- so many interesting replies -- so here's my two cents:

It's not a faux pas for someone to correctly guess my age, or to underguess it, but I wouldn't be too happy if they OVERguessed it by more than a few years. I bet I'm not alone.

Most women (no, most *people*) would prefer to look attractive. Little old ladies are not generally thought of as attractive. Ergo, no woman wants to look like a little old lady before her time. However, a woman who looks like she's trying to appear far younger than she is is not attractive either -- just desperate-looking. A woman who looks stylish and comfortable in her own skin, whatever her age, is far more appealing than either a middle-aged woman trying unsuccessfully to appear twenty-one, or a teenager tarting herself up to look twenty-one.

I thought I would comment first and then go and read every one's thoughts.

My question is, what does it mean "to look your age"? I ask because I think we may all have different perceptions of what a certain aged woman is meant to look like.

I have just turned 47. Frequently, random people will place me between 36 and 40 - in fact my doctor the other week hadn't opened my file and said to me 'now you're in your 30's aren't you'.. I did correct her But I have to confess to you that I am quietly pleased when people think I am younger than I am because I see it as a reflection of the care I take of myself. I look after my skin and my hair and I maintain a healthy diet - more for health and well being than weight management.

But I have no issue with my age and I certainly do not have a mindset that tells me each day I must try to look younger than my 47 years. I look as I do and I am grateful for that. I think with age comes a kind of right of passage. I feel at my age I can, particularly style wise, do whatever I want and for me that is more dressy dressing. I have always loved a more dressy look and as a 20 something I realise that I actually often look like I was dressing older than I was lol.

I have noticed that I have some of the spoils of being over 40... wrinkles/lines at the corner of eyes for example, but you know this demonstrates that I laugh and smile alot and I am happy for everyone to see that

I think good style actually detracts us from thinking about a woman's age. When a woman of any age knows and wears what looks good on her, age fades in to the background and is unimportant.

So IMO there is nothing wrong with looking your age. I embrace looking my age and will always be grateful as there are many who sadly leave us before experiencing the privilege of ageing.

my new statement du jour " you look great/ you are taking great care of your health ( if said person is)". no references to age . Thank you ladies for helping me: I encounter this scenario many times each week. And I don't want to make a faux pas unintentional or not. Angie: thanks so much for starting this commentary.

In my hospital I often see doctors write in patient history that patient appears younger or older than stated age.

Interesting Anna. Does this directly relate to their health?

I just want to look like my best version of me at 51. So I do watch my weight by eating well and working out. I think I look my best within a certain weight range. I color my hair because I look and feel better when I do. And I try to dress nicely in a style that works well for me, staying current but not trendy. I have not had plastic surgery, but I do not rule it out as an option. The wrinkles I don't mind, but the sagging, not so much. Moderation is what works for me now. Not too thin...not too blonde...not too trendy...and certainly no extreme "modifications."