I do think hairdressers can typecast you, consciously or subconsciously. I've always found it helpful to
1) Explicitly tell them I do not want a "mom helmet"!
2) Dress for my appointment. If I show up in gear, I'll get a mom helmet or sporty cut. If I show up in a date outfit, I'll get a more romantic cut. If I show up in a suit, I'll get something more professional but not necessarily edgy. If I show up in an edgy modern outfit, I'll get an edgy modern cut. Remember that people make snap judgements in the first few seconds they meet you. And that on makeover shows like What Not to Wear they start with the clothes, not the hair.... so put on an outfit that best represents your fashion style or aspirations, and ask the hairdresser to style your hair to fit the outfit.
3) Tell the new hairdresser what I do for a living and how I want to present myself to the world: I'm in tech marketing management. I need to look the part, in touch with trends, but not too far out there that an employer wouldn't entrust me with large budgets and lots of management responsibilities.
4) Let them know how much styling & maintenance I'm willing to do. I don't let them assume I'm a "wash and go" low maintenance type. I do my hair the morning of the appointment so I don't show up like I just rolled out of bed, inadvertently giving the wrong impression that's my normal state. Since I've been with the same hairdresser for a long time, I can relax a bit but if it was a new hairdresser, I'd also pay attention to my nails, makeup, and eyebrows.
5) Go through the style books with them, and talk with them about what I like and don't like about each photo, as well as what I've tried in the past that worked, and what didn't, and why. I talk not just about the details like bangs or shape, but about the image the model presents with the style.
6) The shorter I go, the more dramatic color I need. By that I mean chunky low lights or I find I can go lighter. I find it helps with a new colorist to wear white, and my usual shade of lipstick, so they can get a sense of what colors will work best. I also bring photos of what my natural hair color looked like as a child and as teenager, as I figure that is the lightest I can go, and photos of my two daughters as my natural hair is somewhere between their two shades.
7) My hair tends to be soft no matter what I do -- so instead of asking for edge I ask for drama. This could be dramatic color, dramatic side part, or dramatic angle (short in the back and long in the front).
8) As for ears, I ask for a cut that looks good with hair tucked behind the ears, since I tend to do that often. I.e., I like the flexibility to style either way. I also ask for height at the crown since I'm only 5' tall.
I'd been growing my hair out for the past few months, and laying low on my flat iron to give it a break. I just had it cut again and I'm back to short. In fact, I don't think it's been this short in a long while!
