XXXLong

Have you ever though there is no way you could possibly ever wear all the outfits and combinations you want? The inspiration is everywhere: this place alone, other blogs, Pinterest, lookbooks, people on the street… then our own clothes and accessories that can be worn in YET so many ways, the other clothes we want which trends or just good opportunities throw our way… the outfit can be built around anything.

Have you ever felt frustrated by it all?

I have. All the time. And I've decided it's time to start drawing the line under it all.

I actually have a strong need to put an end to it.

Every time I wear the outfit created from my own clothes, I already have an idea for a few more variations. But most of times I simply don't get around to wear (m)any, as some new idea comes along.

Plus, in my head I live all sorts of aspirational wardrobe scenarios. I finally can. Discovering YLF had sent me dizzy - a whole world had opened up to me. I actually learnt to 'read' different personal styles, the trends, even adopt some (albeit very slowly, but hey). I can do my own take on boho… or UWP even… endless fun.

But, all the time I felt that the most 'me' outfits are just - simple. Perhaps bold to some extent, but primarily simple. I find myself mostly drawn to the individual pieces which are easy. Or the outfits that are easy. Unfussy, uncluttered. The pieces which are as pretty to my eye as they are functional.

I used to think simple meant boring. Oh, that dreaded attribute - boring! I also used to describe my style as - safe. I lived in a belief that dressing simply told - even to myself - I was boring, unimaginative.

Looking back, I realise I actually thought that having style meant wearing beautiful clothes! Something that makes other people stop and stare, enviously even, and wanting those same things, wanting to be Cinderella. Being 6 and thinking like that is OK. Even being 30+ and thinking like that was to some way understandable. But, being 40+ and thinking like that no longer works.

More and more, I find that wearing a button down and jeans now and before is not the same. It used to be 'grab on the go', my safe outfit. Now, it's my choice. I choose those pieces because they are the right ones at the time and they make me happy. I wear them happily. So, I am almost back to where I started, but with a different view on things.

Interestingly though, regardless of how far I've come wardrobe-wise, I feel that I sometimes truly need to challenge myself to go simple, to stop proving I can style that difficult piece (of wardrobe, accessory, anything) and acknowledge that what may appear as boring outfit in fact tells a lot more about me, and even opposite and much closer to what and who I am, than what I used to think.

I actually love repeating the outfits that work. Just like watching the favorite film over and over again - I know all the dialogues, but I still enjoy them, and with every new viewing I discover that little bit extra that deepens my enjoyment. And for me, the desire to simplify my style further is very often about distilling it down to bare basics, yet making them look stylish. Like the right tone of voice in that movie dialogue or the carefully directed sequence, I enjoy details of my clothes - the type of the neckline, the contrast of the colors, different textures playing togethter.

I've realised I can get all that enjoyment with very little clothes.

Still, my wardrobe is nowhere near as minimal as I want it to be. Part of me, the liberated or rather educated (sort of) fashionista, wants to try it all. Now I know how to wear some things, even if it is not 100% me - but this girl just wants to have fun with it all. Another part of me, sensible and frugal, knows that far too many pieces I owe are in perfectly good condition to be dismissed, could even work brilliantly in some scenarios, and I can't force myself to part with them. Yet. It's like throwing away perfectly good ingredients for the meal that may not be my favorite, but will nourish me. Yes, someone else can cook even tastier meals with my ingredients, but I still want to taste some of it myself and frankly, I'm too practical to not use up what I have.

I guess I want to say I am far from fine-tuning my style the way I know it can be done, but I just know that having less to choose from would still give me a platform to try new while enjoying familiar old ways of styling.

My question to you all? I'm not sure. These thoughts have been brewing in my head for quite some time and I've tried to capture them in some sensible way, so I can get more clarity of where I am now and where I'm headed. So, I'm releasing them… perhaps I could have keep editing the post for another 2-3 weeks, but I realise I am at the point where I can't think it all the way through on my own.

Does it all make any sense?

p.s. If you're still reading, you truly are my hero.