Ornella, I am sadly late to this conversation but wanted to thank you for your post. Sveta said what I would have said, I think -- and Joy, also. My first year and a half here was a time of real experimentation. Now, for me also, is a time of refinement (as Claire and Una said, too.) For me, the experimentation was necessary so I could find my comfort levels and what works. Now I have a better sense of that. I am enjoying the process of shopping much more now as my style persona becomes clearer.

As for you, your strong simple style suits you perfectly. So no wonder you gravitate towards it!

I cannot believe how much this post resonates with me. You wrote:

"But, all the time I felt that the most 'me' outfits are just - simple. Perhaps bold to some extent, but primarily simple". This describes me to a tee.

Pre YLF I always felt frumpy when I was around certain people who I thought had style. Looking back now I realize those people had money to buy a lot of clothes and "bling", they weren't necessarily stylish.

I too have come full circle, but I do like the spiral idea better. I love Astrid's comment about how she is wearing the same formula, but wearing better fitting pieces.

I realized this week that I don't want a minimum amount of clothes, I want to have simple outfits. Primarily I want to have 2 shirts for every bottom that I have. It is hard for me to find bottoms that I love so that automatically limits how many items I have.

I am now going back to what I love, but understand proportions better so I love the look. Instead of feeling frumpy in a tank top and shorts I feel fabulous because the proportions work as well as the colors I have chosen and shoes.

Beautifully written Ornella! And everyone (especially Sveta, Joy and Astrid) has made great comments.

I love how you titled part of the post "Daring to be Simple." I love the look of simple outfits. One reason I joined YLF is because I too thought that my simple outfits were boring and I couldn't figure out how to be a bit more trendy no matter how I tried. I kept trying trends, but always felt weird in them. I took this site to show me that my boring outfits weren't boring. They were simple and that's part of my style.

Ornella, this completely resonated with me. I've been feeling the same way lately.

Kristin, I completely understand what you mean about feeling weird in trends. Thanks to YLF, I have a better idea of how to make the ones I'm drawn to work for me. At the end of the day, though, I still gravitate toward simple. I've realized that I'm uncomfortable wearing any look that requires a ton of layering or accessorizing or scrunching or what-have-you. For me, wearing fewer pieces at one time simply works. Now my goal is to find those pieces that make me feel great and nearly style themselves.

This is a timely post for me. It is exactly how I feel. I stopped coming to YFL for a few months because I felt overwhelmed. I still feel overwhelmed and have been purging my closet like crazy but I still have no clue what I really want to wear. I would like to be where some of the other ladies (Sveta, Joy, Suz, Una, Shannon, Claire) are in their style journey, but I still feel like the kid in the candy shop....."Oh, I like that...gotta have it!". Most of the "gotta haves" don't fit with my very, very casual life.

I'm grateful you expressed this. I'm in the middle of a wardrobe/style revamp. Partly motivated by one of the ideas you expressed. I don't get bored with wearing the same outfit and in fact I quite like it. Then what about all the other potential outfits that I could wear over and over? I'd need to live in another universe.

Another consideration for me: I tend to think of clothes as ideas. In order to indulge this, I rarely buy retail and look for how to execute those ideas from thrift store clothes, often "remanufactured," as my husband likes to call it.
So I'm a person who's interested in all this eye candy and yet.... I'd really rather not be known for my style, which often I am. Maybe the only solution is to own that "problem."

Claire :: thank you first and foremost for showing us how it's done. Your wardrobe is a source of serious envy for me and now I know there are no excuses not to do something similar with mine… I can at least strive. So many insights in your comment - yes, I totally get the sauce-essence analogy, and on that note I have recently been crazy about 'deconstructed' meals. Same as I feel about the outfits.

I'm putting the book you mention on my To Read list.

And, this is exactly my sore spot: it did help to get rid of some perfectly good clothes… I honestly feel it could get me further down the path I want to walk IF I could bring myself to part with such pieces. This thread is partly my quest for inspiration to do so.

Finally, I too find a lot of inspiration from our Angie (surprise, surprise) and do pay attention to the fact she does not wear any bells and whistles, but just her clothes, which let her shine. I'm not ready to give up on my own bells and whistles, for now at least, but I do find myself preferring those which don't primarily serve to bring the excitement to the outfit. It's something you pointed out in one of your posts a while back, and it was quite an eye opener.

Rachy :: so spot on, again. I had sharp outfits before, but never a good wardrobe. *clapping*

Una :: your ability to distill my ramblings into a single statement that says it all thrills me to bits. I had to sample it all first in order to come back to my true … self only better. Sometimetimes I think you're my shortcut to my true self

Joy :: on top of valuing the ability to update good wardrobe pieces with seasonal delights, what a brilliant point to think of good wardrobe from the point of varying income too. I have been on a budget since my move and because I still don't work. It was not necessary to cut the corners, but it's self-imposed approach for now as I don't feel good spending too much when we're still on one income. While on one hand it makes it more difficult to part with what's not truly me, the reality of having less to spend had led me to truly value what works, because the things I want to wear and do wear all the time have CPW down to nothing in no time. And because those pieces are of good quality too, I know they will last and last.

* * *

(To be continued...)

Carole :: this is probably my favourite part of your comment - I found myself experimenting and coming to the realization that I knew myself better than I thought. Exactly. And your style has become so purified and ladylike, I enjoy every post and look forward to it as a source of inspiration. I want to be where you are.

TraceyLiz :: thanks for the comment and planting the image of weeble-wobble in my head. Great visual for this whole thinking process. And you are so right about too much of anything.

bj1111 :: style fidelity - I love this

caro :: I love your food analogy.

shevia, Elizabeth, Shannon, Raisin :: I am delighted, and honored, the post gives you food for thought. Thank you.

Angie :: spot on I always feel my best in a simple outfit… My best, my best - that's what I want to focus on.

MNsara :: I agree, a lot of us have - or still are - going through this stage. It's probably a sort of Style rite of passage. And I agree that spiral is closer to truth than the full circle.

Eliza :: beautifully said - options mistaken for answers. Wow! And this speaks to me personally: my time would be better spent refining my understanding and use of what I already have. Thank you.

Sveta :: another gem - I need to find a balance between having too little choice and being bored with a very small wardrobe and having too much choice and being frustrated that I cannot wear everything I have on a regular basis. That's the whole point.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was shocked I didn't have crazy shopping session a month ago when I went to England. I said "But I want to wear what I have." It felt good hearing myself saying that aloud.

You are very right in describing previous period of your style-life as starving - same thing here. The challenges of finding long clothes to dress in really sucked any joy out of the whole process, which is why I still find it hard to let some things go (but what if don't find such long sleeved top again?). I'm working on it though.

Diane :: "I doesn't mean we have to try and imitate all that we see. To realise this is to start to be more confident with ones own style." Yes!

Denise :: thanks for chiming in. I hope you had a good sleep

Suz :: you're not late (I'm the one who's late with responses, but time zone difference plus kid with the cold and regular errands took their share of my time for the thread).

Nicely distilled: experimentation, then refinement. I agree. I just couldn't express it so simply, but that's what I wanted to say

mtgirl :: I'm happy this post resonates with you. You've analysed beautifully your own stage of style journey and that, in return, resonates with me. I also love your formula of two tops for each bottom. I too find it difficult to find the right bottoms, but also think that variety in bottoms offer a huge platform for variety in outfits, so I'll definitely work on coming up with my comfortable ratio. Thank you for this valuable insight.

Kristin :: I had a huge grin reading your comment. And I nodded at every word. You are right, I did deliberately chose the word "Daring" as that is how I feel - I have to challenge myself sometimes to leave off bells and whistles.

Stacey :: another quote to highlight it: Now my goal is to find those pieces that make me feel great and nearly style themselves. I agree 100%

tracina :: I hope you come back to be regular again and discover that one candy that is worth leaving all other sweet, juicy, , colorful ones in their jars. But, also, keep experimenting - as others have pointed out, being all over place style-wise is in most cases is even necessary and leaves us with firm ideas what - and why - we like our final choices.

Vildy :: great thoughts, needing to live in another universe. Here is to wearing what we love and loving what we wear - in this one

What a great realization to come to. Thank you for sharing this. So true, I relate to this. Except in my case, I have had to accept that I must add a little more. I used to be extra simple, in an athletic way. I have come to realize my body type/style can benefit from a little frill, if it is placed right and not overdone. This is what I have learned on this site.

It's also all in what you chose to put on, not just how much. I really like your uncluttered, chic yet classic style. It really suits you so well too. I notice you always have that one, not-in-your-face detail that brings the whole outfit together nicely.

Ornella, here is a pic that I think exhibits what we've been talking about.

It is nothing special -- a top, a bottom, a bag, a cuff, and shoes. What could be more straightforward and even "boring." I must have worn outfits composed of these elements thousands of times, pre-YLF.

But now, there is a difference. Now, they'e higher quality, more mindfully chosen, and more me.

Suz - I would add that your hair makes a HUGE difference as well. It is an accessory on its own. Gorgeous!

Your posture and your smile add a lot to this outfit as well. You look confident and happy.

Perfect example of a simple & bold outfit. Hmmmmmm.... I am having a hard time using the word simple. It's almost seems like a negative word. Something for me to ponder.

krish :: brilliant learnings for your own style. And thank you for your comment.

Suz :: I love this 'boring' outfit. I totally get what you say. And I really want, no - need those sandals.

mtgirl :: you're right, we have to re-think 'simple'. I'm a big believer in simplicity. My own work motto is Einstein's saying: "Out of clutter find simplicity - from discord find harmony"

clearlyclaire said, "In a way, I think your desire to pare down your look is positively fearless. I think it takes a lot of confidence to wear an unadorned white shirt and jeans. You have to know that you are bringing the excitement to the outfit, and that you don't need the protective armor of a statement necklace (that proves you know what's trendy right now) or a scarf, even if it's not cold (to show you have style)."

I think she really nailed it. I've been giving a lot of thought to this recently. I keep buying new things, hoping each one will be that one item that makes me feel good about myself, or that turns me into that person I want other people to think I am. It's like trying on costumes. So know that your decision to wear the things you love solely because YOU love them is so inspirational to me, whether I share your style or not.

Thanks Florence. And welcome to YLF forum

Ornella, I am really, really late to this thread but thoroughly understand where you are coming from. I am finally understanding the process of consciously dressing. I now think about what I put on instead of throwing something on. Thank you for this thought provoking post.

Hi, I also enjoyed reading this and it resonated with me. Perhaps it has something to do with the 40 milestone, which is close on the horizon for me and which you referred to. I find myself moving away from experimentation and back to the tried-and true - but with confidence as to WHY I choose the tried and true, rather than just a feeling of "settling" or being in a rut. The good thing about the 30s experimentation is that I'm not afraid to try the new things - but they have to really earn my consideration now!

Well-written post and thanks for the food for thought!

deb :: that is so funny, I actually edited out the entire section where I mentioned 'conscious dressing' from my first post, but that is basically another way of saying what I want. I'm thrilled we're on the same wave-length.

torontogirl :: thank you. You are yet another commentator who spotted what was just one of many aspects I threw in - the difference of dressing, and how we see it, and it being (my, our) age-related. These could have bene my words: 'have to really earn my consideration now'. It gave me goosebumps to read this.

I want to let this thread get retired naturally, but can't help commenting as I really want to let you all know I've read every single word. I truly appreciate your input and everyone picking up on different aspects of what I wrote.

As I mentioned, these thoughts were brewing and churning in my head for quite some time and although at first I was unsure whether to put them out there in what seemed an unfinished state, it's great to know it was the right decision to just let it all out and let the thoughts and ideas mature and take shape with every comment.

Thank you all so much.