Sad & Scary Quest for a Dress - Should I Even Try? - YouLookFab Forum

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Sad & Scary Quest for a Dress - Should I Even Try?

Kappy

Veteran

I have two events in May, an evening wedding and a combined 40th bday/doctorate celebration (dinner and dancing at a golf club). I currently own zero dresses. I gave up a while back on fitting into any of my old dresses and passed them on to charity (they were probably a little dated to boot). We really never do anything that requires dressing up. I am 44, a size 16/18 and 5'10". Should I even try to find a dress (or two) for these events? I have looked a bit online and everything seems to be SHORT, LOWCUT and SLEEVELESS, probably not the best looks for me.

I did buy this sale dress online (just added it to an order) to see what it would look like. The verdict is: an overstuffed sausage (so embarrassing to post this pic!). Granted, I don't have any slip on but even a corset wouldn't fix this dress! This is a Calvin Klein size 16 dress from Nordstrom. Funny comments from my preschool son: Mommy, what is that? A raincoat? (I guess because it was making swishing noises; that tells you how often he has seen me in a dress - zero times.). Then his eyes got really big and he said: "You can't wear that". I said, "Yes, you're right, it doesn't look very good." He said "No, it's because your I'm not allowed to say it is showing." Hee hee.

So, any suggestions on what type of dress you think I should look for? Or should I just shop for a suit or separates instead? I don't mind spending a bit if it's something I could wear to both events.

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Shopping

17 replies

Latest reply was from thimblelina

afterism

Hi Kappy,

Dresses are awesome. They are super easy to put on and very comfortable.

I think something that skims out from your waist and over your hips would suit you more. Something a bit A-Line.

I'll hunt some ideas out & post them shortly.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Maybe a wrap dress?

afterism

I think these are nice options

http://www.igigi.com/plus-size.....source=GAN

http://www.kiyonna.com/plus-si.....s/14080901

I also suggest you check out Allie's blog at http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/

She always looks fantastic.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I second Mo; I think a red wrap dress would look beautiful on you! I am jealous of your curves; I love wrap dresses but they always never work on me

Janet

(website)

Veteran

A current trend that you may find works well is the fit-and-flare style dress. They tend to be knee length, for one thing, and they are also quite flattering on hourglass shapes. I have a couple and I love them. They define the waist nicely and then gently flare at the skirt. Nordstrom seems to have a nice selection.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You must try and you *will* look fab!

Have you tried the Jones label? I'd take you straight to Macys to try those frocks first.

Steph

Veteran

Kappy, you can definitely wear dresses! Don't let one bad experience stop you!

From looking at the dress you tried on, I agree with the idea that something with more of an a-line skirt might make more sense. I personally find straight skirts can be difficult to wear--they have the potential to look great, but the sizing and cut really has to be just right. I'm a size four hourglass and I find that straight skirts often highlight my stomach bulge.

However, I wouldn't even necessarily give up on the dress you bought--I think it could possibly work if it were a size or two bigger. It looks too tight near the armpits as well as the skirt, so it could just be that Calvin Klein cuts his size 16s a little small. I recently went cocktail dress shopping at Macy's and had this problem with several brands, including Calvin Klein.

I went online and found some things I thought might look good on you:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/su.....tback=5776

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/js.....ltback=939

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ad.....ltback=954

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ad.....tback=5776

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ad.....tback=6373

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ka.....tback=2904 (Not sure if the sizing would work, but it has sleeves, and that's so uncommon!)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/el.....tback=4408

Sorry if I went overboard with the links!

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

I agree, you must try dresses! Good for you for posting something you're not happy with, but keep trying and you will get there. Too funny your DS!

RoseandJoan

Veteran

You have had some great suggestions, good luck with your dress search.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Steph is right -- those CK dresses are wonky. I can't close the bodice in my normal size-up solution. You are so much more fab than that dress! You need a dress as fab as you..

I am 2 different sizes, top & bottom, so dresses are a challenge for me. Recently I found a dress I love. No one here has seen it because I want it to debut on my birthday. One of my strategies was the "lot of fish in the sea" approach -- just try on A LOT of dresses! Even dresses you wouldn't normally try on. At all price points, both higher and lower than you thought you wanted to pay. One of Angie's suggestions is "leave no retail stone unturned" so poke your nose in somewhere new to you. When I was searching for some semi-formal wear postpartum (and post running hospice for my mum... I was a total mess) a Nordstrom personal shopper met me and helped put together look at no extra charge. She even helped match it to some shoes I had. I brought my baby and some gals on the floor traded the stroller around. It was beyond kind! So don't be too proud to look for some help.

My new dress is not so formal. It is a wrap. It has a little stretch.

Your perfect dress is out there! And you are going to be so beautiful in it! Let us see what you find. L

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

I'm plus sized and hover between an 18 and 20w...And I wear dresses at least three times a week. With Ylf approval. Please don't give up -- truly, dresses can be one of the best options for curvy girls like us! I'm an hourglass, so dresses with a bit of ease through the skirt usually work best for me (though I have found a couple of sheath cuts that work). Be sure to focus on substantial fabrics that drape well and skim your curves rather than clinging too tightly. The ladies have given you some terriffic suggestions, but I can personally vouch for some of the cocktail dresses from Kiyonna. Give it a shot!
And if it's any consolation, I have never found a Calvin Klein dress that fits me properly either. I'm convinced his frocks aren't cut right for our size bracket. Try some Adrianna Papell options at Nordstrom, and of course Angie's suggestion of Jones New York is right on too.

biscuitsmom

Veteran

You've gotten great advice already, but wanted to add two cheaper places to look- NY&Co has some pretty dresses at great prices (I just got 2 and I wear a XL size-they are *usually* cut a bit large as the xl fits me fine and Im a 18-20) and Ive had good luck at Kohls as well...I love the idea of a wrap dress or a V neck for you, opening the neckline looks wonderful... Good luck!

Kappy

Veteran

Thank you all so much for the suggestions and the "boosts". Pre YLF I would have given up and headed straight for the suits or separates, but I'm going to give it a real try this time. I have over a month to find one or two dresses which should be plenty of time, right? All I used to wear were sheath styles so I guess that's why I picked this particular sale dress to try first. Feel free to add any other suggestions.

dakota

Oh, Kappy, I identify with your frustration. I too, haven't worn a dress or skirt for at least a decade and it's hard to take that step. You've gotten such good advice here and I encourage you to keep trying, post your photos and YLF will help you find the perfect, knock out dress. Hugs!!

Vix

Veteran

Hi Kappy --

Agree with everyone else...it's tedious to keep trying, but don't give up.

I actually think the dress you tried would be great for you in a different size and/or fabric. [Or the same size but different brand, given how all-over-the-place sizes are!]

IMO the existing shoulder/decollete framing gives you a great idea of how spectacular a similar dress would be on you if it had a better fit (which would give you more coverage and comfort). It's a pretty classic silhouette so hopefully you'll find lots of variations in color, fabric etc to try along with any others that catch your eye.

And I see no need to avoid sleeveless if that's what you end up liking best!

Good luck with the hunt.

Carole

Veteran

I agree with everyone else, don't give up on dresses. It would be less frustrating in the long run to shop the stores and try things on. Another vote for V or wrap dress, flatters most shapes! Good luck and keep those pictures coming!

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

@ Vix... Love how you analyze your own closet! It really speaks to me... L