real life you vs. internet you

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Do you think you come across the same way in email and over the internet (like on this forum) as you do in real life?

15 years ago

General

112 replies

Latest reply was from Scarlet

Tanya

Veteran

Hmm, that is really difficult to judge; usually people who know you in both circumstances could tell better. I would guess fairly close, but not sure. You certainly do Angie!

15 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

That's very interesting......I think the answer is no. I cannot inflect on a post and people can't see my expressions. I also sometimes read something and then just post as if I am having a conversation, so it doesn't make sense to more than one reader.

Ironically, I just heard a radio program about this. One of the guests, who was a professor, requires that her students not use any tech for 2 days. One young woman, during that time, found that she and her boyfriend had nothing in common when required to talk live for minutes with texting and so on.

15 years ago

RoseandJoan

Veteran

That's a good question and I'm not sure, only because I don't know if how I write come across in the same way as I speak. Maybe without facial expression and tone of voice cues a comment may come across in a different way to how it was intended.

I don't try to be any different online to how I am in real life. I'm going to ponder this some more.

15 years ago

Active Member

I would like to think so but how would you really know?

15 years ago

Scarlet

Veteran

As much as I can judge how I come across to people, I think real-life and internet me are in line. The difference is that I don't have any outlet in "real life" to talk about the kind of things discussed here. When my friend and I moved away from each other and started e-mailing, she said I write exactly the way I talk. So there you go, here is my "voice".

15 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Who the heck knows- I think there is more than one real life me, anyway.

15 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I think its an interesting question.

I have met people who sound EXACTLY the same online and in real life. It really feels like they are speaking to me in person through their words even though I can't see their facial expressions or hear their voice inflections. I have also met people who sound totally different.

Tanya you also sound the same online - and in real life. Just as fab :0)

15 years ago

rute

Veteran

I think so.. I do not talk much, I'm a very practical, extrovert and direct person but I guess that's shown with the way I writte: small and direct answers and comments.. but who knows!

15 years ago

Louise

Veteran

I'm definately shyer in real life. it takes me a while to settle with new people x

15 years ago

Sara

Active Member

Maybe? I think I am more serious online, even though that doesn't make much sense, because the internet shouldn't be taken too seriously. I definitely have more female friends online than in real life. In real life, I have a few girls I'm close with but none that share my interests, including fashion.

Also I am pretty animated in real life, lots of acting out what I am saying and gestures when talking and making faces. None of that comes across and I think a lot of my sense of humor is missing too, because I can be sarcastic and I don't like to do that online where you can't determine tone and intent!

15 years ago

Beth

Veteran

Oh, I don't know. I'm an introvert and tend to be shy initially but once I get comfortable, I'm wiiide open. I love to laugh. I also tend to write much more formally than I speak; I think it's the result of spending so much of my work time writing technical reports.

One thing I do know is that the photos I post here are a real contrast to what I look like in my down time:
http://s44.photobucket.com/alb.....G_1200.jpg

And yes, those are Crocs, a baseball cap and a t-shirt. It's gear, I promise!

15 years ago

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

I like to think so, too. At least on here. Ana, Patience, Sandy, Tanya, Angie?
In my past I know I came across more harsh and almost mean so I tried to work on that. It's certainly not the impression I want to give.

15 years ago

Frances

Active Member

My guess would be no. I'm shy and reserved in real life and have difficulty with social interaction. I know I'm extremely introverted, and I have difficulty staying "on" and keeping up my end of conversations and social interactions. It is literally like having to flip an "on" switch to interact with strangers. As a result of this, I seem to inadvertently offend or repel people a lot, but it's honestly not intentional!

However, I'm very comfortable writing, and without getting too much more into the psychology of my neuroses, writing posts in an online community like the YLF Forum feels like more of an introverted activity to me. It's like you're all in my head instead of outside in the hallway or the cafe or the shopping mall.

Okay, that's the last of my freaky weirdness for today--I promise!

15 years ago

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I'm terser online than in real life.

15 years ago

kellygirl

Veteran

OT- BethW, that is some lap dog. Is that a goat?

15 years ago

Mac

Veteran

I purposely try to keep some things vague/ private when online, because you never know who might be reading. In person, I am an open book. Besides that small difference, I think I'm pretty much exactly the same in "real life" as online.

15 years ago

Beth

Veteran

Kelly, that's my goat, Tango. He forgets he's not a 17 lb. baby any more:)

15 years ago

Tanya

Veteran

Wow Beth, how did you get to name your pet goat that way? It so very cute! I plan to get two kittens at some point and their names have already been chosen to be Tango and Rumba ( after my favorite ballroom dances).

Sarah, you are wonderful both online and in real life.

15 years ago

Maya

Veteran

I'm probably the same to the people I have met on YLF. But that is not how I am in general. I am much quieter in general. I barely speak to anyone at work.

I know I come off as mean and rude in many cases, either because I am very quiet or because I don't mince words. I don't really feel compelled to do anything about it though. Once people get to know me they usually figure it out.

15 years ago

Mac

Veteran

I'm curious, Maya... you don't mince words with others. Are you okay if others don't mince words with you? You strike me as someone who doesn't mind one bit if other people are straight shooters with you. I have known a few people who were quite direct to the point of being blunt but if anyone else was that way with them, they were always SO offended; I found it rather hilarious and also difficult to understand.

15 years ago

Frances

Active Member

Beth, I think I need a long vacation on your farm. But I would leave my diamond earrings at home.

Sarah, I can't imagine you ever being harsh! In all the time I've been on the YLF Forum, you've never seemed anything but smart, sweet, helpful and lovely.

15 years ago

Maya

Veteran

Mac, all my life I have despised it when people were insincere (see "beautiful" thread). I don't like sugar coating at all. I just don't find it productive or helpful and don't understand why other people get so offended. It is never my intention to be mean or cruel, and I try not to come off that way, but some people will still take it that way no matter what because they just don't like to hear anything negative (in which case I wonder why they even ask for opinions).

I also don't like wishy-washiness...or when people backpeddle to be more PC or whatever. I don't like to leave any room for error regarding what I think and believe. I prefer for people to know exactly what I think and how I feel.

No, I don't mind at all when people do the same to me. Again, as long as they aren't nasty or rude.

Hope that makes sense.

15 years ago

biscuitsmom

Veteran

Beth, LOVE the pic! I dont think Ive seen anything cuter!

15 years ago

Mac

Veteran

Makes total sense and I figured this was how you were: you like to be direct and to be around direct people.

I'm confused by people who are very direct themselves but them expect others to sugar coat whatever is said.

15 years ago

Beth

Veteran

Gracious, isn't there a world of options between not mincing words and sugarcoating? Or am I just being a southerner?

15 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Wow! Such great responses.

Beth, you win best photo of the year. LOVE your lap goat. Tango needs a floral pin.

Frances, you come across as the opposite online. Very kind, sensitive, compassionate and extroverted. I can't imagine that you repel people!

Sarah, you come across the same to me. Just as sweet and empathetic. I have never heard you say or write anything harsh!

I have met Maya in NYC several times. Both alone and with others. Maya has a soft and pretty voice in real life. Not quiet at all - very chatty and fun - probably because she knows YLF. She's very kind and funny and comes across in a gentle and intelligent way.

15 years ago

tarzy

Veteran

Yes. And no. I'm a writer, so I tend to go on and on and on ... and on ... and on ...

I'm a copywriter for toy companies. I write about dolls, so my audience is basically seven year old girls. I have to use words like super awesome!!!! And write about things like pink horses named Cookie Crumble Sparklepants!!!! Which is not at all my real personality at all!!!! I'm actually a bleak, dark, New Yorker who wears black and thinks about the meaning of life while drinking coffee on rainy days.

15 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Beth, how about "tactful"?

15 years ago

Mac

Veteran

BethW - you are being a Southerner : ) but yeah, there's a lot in between. I'm thinking of several people from my "real life" who are, um, EXTREMELY direct themselves but then expect EXTREME sugar coating in return. It seems that they reside in the world of polarities.

15 years ago

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