Possible relationship problems with my BF

Transcona Shannon

I'm having doubts about the boyfriend jeans look on me. Although I've had reassurances from Angie and others on a couple of the looks I've tried with them and they are undoubtedly comfortable, I just don't feel like ME in the look.

Just saying...

11 years ago

Dressing

36 replies

Latest reply was from Diana

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

It is a fad that will pass in time. Have some fun with them now. Enjoy stretching your style. When the trend passes, put them away and don't look back

Midi's are fun for me right now, but I know they are not a permanent part of my wardrobe.

11 years ago

Anonymous

I'm guessing I would completely agree with you.

11 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

well, you know how it is with BFs. It's okay for us to play the field and then ditch them...

If you don't feel like YOU, that's not good. But I would say try them out a few times to see if it's just a question of stretching the comfort zone. OR check your rubric. What elements are missing from your outfits when you wear them? Colour? Retro? Maybe you need to add a feminine element?

11 years ago

Anonymous

That's too bad. When you wear them, I think you have a nice boyish, retro edge.

11 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I understand. I dip my toe in some trends to find they don't resonate deeply with me. Usually that's when I'm glad I generally don't spend a lot on really trendy pieces.

11 years ago

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Perhaps you feel you are cheating on your more ladylike look.

I agree that it is a trend that is to be enjoyed for today and then forgotten (much like many other BFs). If they are fun to wear you can still enjoy them knowing they are a short term look.

11 years ago

Isis

Veteran

Could it be that figure flattery is a priority for you?

Personally, I love the slouchy bad vibe of BF jeans, but it's the attitude I love!

11 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*chuckle*

The title of this thread had me in stitches.

But onto your feelings. This happens from time to time, Shannon. Something can look fab but not feel like "you". Do you prefer the smaller size to the larger ones?

My hunch is that you need to keep your BF jeans outfits feminine. You have a lovely ladylike edge to your look, and when it's missing - you miss it! Try that for starters.

I learned just this week that although I LOVE flats and all Tomboy vibes, I prefer my baggy husband jeans with a little heel (LOW heel of course). So that's how I am going to wear them. I much prefer my clams, Bermudas, skinnies, dresses and skirts with flats.

Hope this helps.

11 years ago

Sona

Veteran

no BF for me too. my hips and thighs, knees are much slimmer ( relatively) than my waist and belly . i've tried kut from the kloth and gap sexy bf's and they just don't work!! I'm a skinny jean kind of gal!

11 years ago

(website)

Veteran

I'm with you! I am just vain enough to want my rear view to look good, not slouchy, so I have given them a pass unless and until I can find a pair that compliments the hiney

11 years ago

Jonesy

Veteran

Both sizes, or just the larger ones? Is there something else going on in your life that is making you re-think things? Not to get all psychological on you, but sometimes I have more doubts when I am feeling unease about other aspects in my life, and it's just reflected in my clothing feelings....OTOH, maybe you were just swept up in the excitement over them, but now, upon reflection, they are just not "you"? That's fine too. It happened to me with a PB blouse. Bought it, wore it a few times, and now it's gone, because PB blouses are just not me, no matter how trendy or inexpensive or how small the bow was!

Speaking of BF jeans and trendiness: I was looking through an old Lucky magazine from 2004 and found a Gap ad that included BF style jeans! I think they've been around for a while now, but were pushed to the margins because of the skinnies phenomenon. Now it seems like there is room for lots of different denim silhouettes, which is so refreshing. But, again, if you are not feeling it, then wash your hands of them!

11 years ago

Beth Ann

Veteran

I hear you, Shannon. I chose "loose" over baggy, if you know what I mean, for that reason. I'm sure my version is far from edgy. I love the feel of the "ease" in the fit. Such a nice switch from skinnies, which aren't, well, skinny on me. What about softer, slouchier trousers? I think you already have a pair, don't you?

11 years ago

Anonymous

I hear you Shannon. I've had a few outfits or items get a K-rating from Angie, but after the glow of her praise wore off, I just didn't feel like the item was *me*. I now have BFs in two sizes, but seriously the smaller size feels more (emotionally) comfortable for me, and I need to wear them full-length-- unrolled-- with pointy-toe flats to feel like I can pull them off.

11 years ago

celia

Veteran

Yeah, sometimes that happens with BF.
I thinking that making it more you is a great advice.As in any other thing in life it also depends on when and how you use it.I like to wear mine in the slighty nerdish way as in my last wiw. Wouldn't try to wear it in a hip way or if body flatering was an issue that day.

11 years ago

K. Period.

Veteran

*Whew!* So I'm not alone. I like the look, but I like it better on others than on me. I have a slightly slouchy pair of jeans that I wear in the bf style, but they are definitely on the more fitted end of the spectrum. As in, I'm not entirely sure that they aren't just slightly oversized jeans rolled up. Actually, I'm sure that that's what they are. That's my interpretation of the trend in a way that feels okay to me. Definitely not cutting edge. However, I've got my huge mommy arms, post-baby belly and trim legs, so losing the part of me that feels the trimmest (my rear and legs) in a sea of denim feels wrong to me. Not my figure flattering priority. Even though I have loved your bf looks--and I really have--I can also appreciate that they just don't feel good to you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, though, right?

11 years ago

Parsley

Veteran

I hear you, Shannon, although I think you look great in your BF jeans. I've wanted so much to take part in the trend, but decided that I just can't. They just don't fit into my current style and image I want to project.

Even if yours turns out to be just a brief fling, you can always wear them around the house or for the occasional grocery run.

But before you give up on them, why not try them with a heel as Angie has suggested, or something along the line of the picture Anna posted, from Atlantic- Pacific.

http://atlantic-pacific.blogsp.....imple.html

11 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Aw, darn. I love you in your BFs. Have you looked at Kensie Everyday? I just realized yesterday that she has a slew of outfits with these exact jeans. Yes she is 5'9" and young enough to be our daughter, but the basic inspiration is very feminine cool casual.

11 years ago

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I think adding feminine touches is what makes BF jeans okay for me. But mine are not all that baggy. And my DH likes them so that makes me feel better. Mine are mostly a faded, comfy pair of jeans that say "summer jeans" to me. I do find I prefer them with sandals, jewelry and feminine tops. Like a white button down, pretty belt and gold pendant necklace. I would never go the sweatshirt or flannel shirt route with them for myself. I do still love my skinny jeans - just not in the heat of Texas summer.

11 years ago

Gaylene

Veteran

Well, from the pictures I've seen of bloggers and celebs, and here on the forum, I think that BFs are not the easiest trend to get right, especially on curvier or more mature figures. While the slouch may look fine from the front, I think the back view is another matter. To me, it's a question of degree-- how much am I willing to give up just to look trendy or "have fun"..

The sexy/cute look of rolled and baggy jeans, to my eye, also seems to look more natural on a young-looking, slim-hipped woman who (theoretically) may have just dashed out from her boyfriend's apartment. When I tried a pair of BF jeans (hey, why not experiment because you never know), instead of sexy/cute, I looked like I had grabbed a pair of husband's old jeans and was ready to do some yard work. All that was lacking was an old straw hat. Functionable, maybe, but definitely not my most fashionable look.

I keep coming back to Angie's statement about grown-up looks. To me, BF jeans on many older women just don't do us any favors. That doesn't mean that I can't wear slouchy looks, but, maybe, boyfriends, in real life and in jeans, may not work out as well as we had hoped.

11 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Another thought is to go the 50s vintage/retro look, which would fit with your style. I agree with Parsley that the Atlantic-Pacific look with a blazer may also dress them up for you (with heels or your three-tone oxfords)...

11 years ago

Diana

Veteran

So a couple of days ago Angie said that my style is both tomboy and girly at the same time. I'm wondering if you could apply that thinking to your BF dilemma as well, Shannon. So pair the more masculine BF jeans with more feminine blouse or something.

I like to pair my BFs with something sheer, something in a bright, "girly" color, or something with embellishments or ruffles or something. I'm not sure though that because of my long hair I always have the feminine element anyway.

For example, here I paired them with a embellished tee with beading and stuff. Similarly, here I wore them with a bright pink silk top.

11 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

You gals are FULL of such fabulous wisdom and ideas! So much so that I will not kick my BF to the curb just yet. I'm going to play with him a bit (which I'm sure he'll love - lol!) and see what I can do to make this relationship work. I think you're right that I'm missing the feminine and retro side to the look.

11 years ago

shiny

Veteran

I tried it too -- also wasn't me.

11 years ago

Beth Ann

Veteran

Ooh! Una's onto something -- Think Marilyn in the "Misfits" --- all the starlets who wore this look in the 50's.

11 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yeah...I think Marilyn would have to be THE definition of the "sexy boyfriend." !!

But seriously, that BF will reward a bit of play. And if not, you can pass him onto someone less discriminating.

11 years ago

KathyL

Veteran

You ladies are cracking me up with the double entendres. Shannon, I am not a fan of the BFs on myself either. I do appreciate the look on you and others here. I think you have looked great in them, and I hope you're able to find a way to feel comfortable in them too.

11 years ago

jen

Active Member

I spend big to buy the perfect jeans that give my bottom shape and lift. I would NEVER wear baggy jeans!!!

11 years ago

catgirl

Veteran

Yes, I just saw a pic of Marilyn in rolled up BF jeans.

http://images.search.yahoo.com.....o&.crumb=DbWV4XRTMIV

11 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

OMG Una - LOVE that picture of Marilyn in her BF's! Ok...the wheels are turning now...I need to find a way to make the BF's feminine and retro to counteract the non-figure flattering aspect of them.

Gonna have to go play in my closet...

11 years ago

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