While I hesitate to say too much about this in public on the web, but I've alluded to a great deal of unhappiness with my current position in the past and I'm looking for a bit of advice. This is probably going to be quite wordy as I'm thinking through a lot; I'm sorry for the length.

Without going too much into specifics, there are so many aspects of my job, department, and company that I'm very concerned or very dissatisfied with, and I'm well beyond burnt out. I've addressed my frustrations with my manager a couple months ago (I shared my concerns with her, acknowledged that I knew many of the issues I mentioned were not in her control, but let her know that I really didn't see myself staying at the company if everything continued down the frustrating direction that it's been going.) I felt that she acknowledged my concerns and posed some small suggestions to alleviate the frustrations I have with my job duties; however, there is so much that's out of both of our hands, and much of the changes ahead are too far down the line to keep me here long term. I don't see that the job or the company I'm at have any promise for me to grow or learn - I stretched myself way beyond my bounds this year with nothing to show for it, and I'm just exhausted and no longer engaged.

While ideally I'd like to stick it out at my current job until I can find another job (and hopefully one that is a better fit), I'm increasingly unsure if that's the best move. I really have a difficult time getting into the mentality where I can write a stellar resume/application/cover letter that highlight my strengths; I'm spending so much of my day feeling frustrated and come home drained, and I have a difficult time getting into "job search mode" where I really need to talk up my strengths and skills when I am feeling so negative about my professional situation. There's a lot about my company and my environment that is very tense and toxic, and I don't see that changing any time soon - my mental health more or less bottomed out into an intense depression this summer, and it's been a slow recovery when I'm working in a very frenetic, angst-ridden atmosphere. I've given some thought to simply applying to jobs for the next few months and quitting by a certain date even if I don't have a job in sight.

There are a lot of downsides to doing that - no unemployment, no insurance (though I'd actually be okay as long as things stay as they are - most of my medical expenses are very, very inexpensive generic prescriptions) and there's a lot less pressure to finding a new job when you are currently employed. Right now, I have the luxury to be picky. Also, I worry that I might bottom out into a depression again if I'm not out and leaving the house on a daily basis - I'd have to force myself to get out and to do things in order to remain mentally healthy.

On the other hand, I'm weighing whether it would possibly be good from a mental health perspective to have a breather for a month or two after such a stressful year so that I can really devote myself full-time to applying, interviewing, even volunteering. Financially, it might be tighter but I'd actually be okay for quite a while. (I have a good emergency savings built up.)

So... have any of you ever been in similar situations, and what did you decide? I've talked through both alternatives with B., my parents, and my best friend, and all of them actually were thinking that leaving my job now, even without another lined up, may not be a bad idea given how nasty things are right now. I'm really interested to hear if any of you have words of wisdom or experience to share, since there are so many of us from very different professional backgrounds here.

Thank you.