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Need YLF wisdom about a gift!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I am not sure if this is off topic or not because it may be fashion related after all but it is urgent!
My DS who is 26 now has been in a long distance relationship with a girl who he met on his student exchange in Hong Kong over 2 years ago. He is in Toronto, she was in Los Angeles and now moved to New York this summer.
She is visiting him in Toronto now for Thankgivings and today they are coming to visit us. Thsi is the first time she will come to our house in those 2 years. They are not engaged or anything yet (as far as I know) but bringing her to visit us specifically with 2 hour bus ride back and forth when she is visiting him for just 4 days is a significant fact to me.

I talked to him on the phone yesterday and he said that she has a birthday next week and asked me to buy a cake (I bought two )
I would really like to give her a birthday gift as well but I have no idea what is appropriate in this case. I don't know her style preferences and size which makes it even harder. I know she is fun to be with (for my son) , likes to travel and works as a business consultant in New York - that's it.

What combined YLF wisdom says?

P.S Sorry I am still MIA on the forum and on the blog, the craziness of life is continuing nad my energy levels are very low now...although this visit surely perks me up

Thanks in advance!

Urgent

29 replies

Latest reply was from Sveta

Tanya

Veteran

Hi Sveta, nice to "see" you here.

When faced with somewhat similar dilemmas in the past, I have gone with Sephora perfume gift sets. They have collections of mini-fragrances, which come with a voucher for a full-size fragrance. Basically the recipient can test/play with all the sample sizes in the gift box, figure out which one s/he likes best and get a full-size bottle.

http://www.sephora.com/bottled.....Id=1691583

http://www.sephora.com/liquid-.....Id=1746841

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Thank you Tanya, it is a great idea! I may just do that (would not mind it for myself either :-0 )

JAileen

Veteran

I had a similar situation with my son and his girlfriend. I had never met her, only skyped with them and had noticed her wearing earrings. We finally met her last winter, soon after her birthday. I bought her beautiful dangly earrings from our museum giftshop. There was a risk that she didn't have pierced ears, but luckily she did.

marianna

Veteran

Is the girl also 26? If so, I am a few years older... Given that you don't know her tastes, if it was me I'd probably most enjoy a gift card to Starbucks or something of that sort. I know it's a pretty generic gift, but it's something that she'd probably use even if she doesn't drink coffee. Otherwise you're taking a risk that she won't like the fragrance/jewelry/ etc that you select. Just my thoughts!

elpgal

Veteran

A small piece of jewelry would be nice. If they end up together in the long run, it will become a sentimental piece.

Peri

Veteran

How long is she going to be there? If it is several days, how about a gift cert to a favorite local restaurant? They can go out for a date without feeling like they are slighting you because it was your idea! She will love you for it because that will give her a break from being on "make a good first impression" behavior.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Since you want this gift to be personal (without actually knowing her), I advice against gift certificates. I often pick gifts for people I don't know well, and here are my fail-proof choices.

1. A gift set with perfume, body mist and body lotions (stick to natural scents)
2. A perfume set like Tanya recommends
3. A pretty clutch or wallet ( most ppl want to carry a handbag they picked out themselves but a pretty, dressy clutch for occasional use is a good gift)
4. Scarf (pick a neutral color just to be sure)
5. A piece (or two) of jewelry. I'd recommend a necklace or bracelet since you don't know if her ears are pierced

I often combine a scarf with a piece of jewelry.

Hope this helps!

Nebraskim

Veteran

How about some smallish memento of Toronto? If this is her first visit, she might appreciate something to commemorate that, plus remind her of him and his family. So maybe a graphic T-shirt with images of the city, or a scarf or something like that. And since she's living in NYC where it does get cold, perhaps a nice pashmina?

Joy

Veteran

My thought is something related to your city or area or to your family heritage or interests. Since she is visiting your son and your family in Canada, maybe something like a Maple leaf pendant? In the long run, she will remember that you were welcoming.

Gaylene

Veteran

My gift in the same situation was a pair of cashmere knit gloves in a pretty colour. Luxurious, but practical--and no worries about size. She loves them so much, that was her present to me at Christmas the following year when she and my son announced their engagement.

gryffin

Veteran

I like gaylene's idea a lot. My default gift is a harmony ball pendant. I have one in order for a friend's 60th. You can find them online, often in sterling on a nice chain. Who does not need harmony and peace, funky, conversation starter, and lucky. I love my chiming spheres and have several now.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

There you are! Miss you, Sveta.

I'm with Marianna, and vote a gift card since you're unsure of her style or scent preferences. Personally, I think gift cards are very thoughtful, and not a cop out at all.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Love Gaylene's idea... esp if she's just moved from LA, chances are she doesn't have a closet full. I'd stay away from perfume... I don't find anyone wears it anymore, it's almost taboo... so many scent free places. But maybe that's just here.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I don't know about perfume or scented things -- that is such a personal choice. Many people don't even wear it. I'd go with a gift card. Even though it might seem not as personal, it will more likely be appreciated and used. Yeah, I know I'm very practical about this stuff.

harmonica

Veteran

I'm sure a gift card à la Marianna or Peri, or gloves would be appreciated. Nice to «see» you.

Bonnie

Veteran

I'd probably go to a nice store and ask a stylish SA about your son's friend's age what she would recommend.

Jules

Veteran

If you get a gift card of course make sure it can be used cross-border... But I imagine you're aware of all that!
I like the cashmere gloves idea. Gloves get misplaced so an extra pair is always welcome in my books. They are small (NY apartment and travel issues). And not overly personal in a neutral. Scarves are a bit more difficult even in a neutral because they are worn around the face, I think. I dislike perfume so I vote against that. Another idea might be nice hand cream (L'Occitane gift set?) in a purse size.
Once you have met her, you will be able to choose more personal gifts going forward!

Runcarla

Veteran

I quite like Maneera's suggestion of a pretty clutch, and knit gloves is thoughtful and practical at this chilly time of year. Scented items can be tricky.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I like the idea of a Starbuck's gift card. After all their stores are everywhere and they have many drinks for non-coffee drinkers. I would find a nice card from a maker like Papyrus and put it in there. (I just got some beautiful ones for my in-laws, they were hand-made and ran around $6 a piece, and were much more elegant than the usual Hallmark.)

rachylou

Veteran

I like the idea of gift card or maple leaf pendant or cashmere. Jewelry jewelry seems a bit scary, and I think perfume is dangerous territory...

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

My first choice would be the knit gloves - useful and not too impersonal and everyone needs them.

Enjoy the meeting. I hope you like her almost as much as your son does.

Elle

Veteran

I vote for gloves or scarf (indoor or outdoor). It's personal and yet everyone can use them. One other idea - Sephora has gift sets of lipbalms that are cute. I'd avoid perfume or scent - not everyone wears them and people's tastes vary so widely.

It is significant and very heartwarming that she is coming to visit you on such a short visit.

BlondeAmbition

So what did you end up getting her? Was she lovely?

Personally I think it's unnecessary to buy something expensive for someone you don't know, as I would feel uncomfortable receiving a lavish gift from a boy's mother who I am meeting for the first time. That's just me.

Moving from LA to NY is quite a big climate shift, I would buy her something like gloves or a scarf or a pretty hat. I like the idea of buying her something from your city as well, perhaps a pretty mug with a gourmet cocoa mix?

Scarlet

Veteran

I would guess that anyone in their twenties would appreciate something with a hint of luxury about it, be it a really nice candle, cashmere gloves, or what have you. If she doesn't like it she can move it along to someone who does. I am of the camp that it's the thought that counts and she will appreciate the effort you put into trying to find a nice gift for her. My sister recently gave me a selection of L'occitane hand creams, and I enjoy picking out a different one to put on my hands at night before bed.

LaPed

Veteran

Okay, I'm just a few years older and only married for a little over a year. So I have some recent experience dealing with MIL / potential MIL. My personal feeling is that any gift that is meant to be worn on the body applies a little too much pressure -- she'll feel like she has to try it on, wear it in front of you to show she is grateful, etc (and pretend it is to her taste even if it is not).

Since she is newly moved to NY, I would find something that serves almost as a "housewarming" gift -- a decorative candle (maybe not scented is best), a handmade mug with teas (or better yet, a pair of mugs!), lavender sachets for closets, high-end tea towels, a pretty address book, etc. These are things that most 20-somethings aren't going to buy for themselves but will enjoy having for a long time -- and they won't go out of fashion the way jewelry or accessories might.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gosh, I am late on this one -- so sorry!!

My vote goes with Gaylene -- and failing that, I was going to say head to DANIER and get some small leather goods or gloves..."Only in Canada" and special.

I hope you and Mr. S. liked her!! And hope your son is happy.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I liked the perfume and gloves ideas. My husband was asking about gift ideas for his (all female) staff for this year and I floated those. But he's also leery of the "on the body" gifts as being awkward in the professional setting. He's decided to go with very nice champagne. I can't say I'd offer that to a son's girlfriend, though.

isabelrose

What about a nice, leather-cover agenda for 2016?

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Thank you all for your ideas and suggestions, it was very helpful.
Sorry I did not reply before - as you can imagine my weekend was so full I had no computer time at all!
I ended up not getting any gift for her as I simply did not have time: I went to pick them up straight from work. What I want to do is to send the gift with my son who is going to New York for Christmas. This will give me time to think more and not do something in a hurry. I am going to read and re-read you advice several times now before I decide. And now when I met her and got to know her a little it should be easier
I like the idea of L'occitane hand creams - they are Canadian and useful to everybody. I have never used their products so it will be fun to try. I think I want to send her a little late birthday gift and a little Christmas gift too so hand creams can be for Christmas.
I am happy to report that I liked her very much and hopefully we all made her feel welcome. It was very informal - the way I would like it to be if I was in her place. I was so excited all weekend that I felt very tired by Sunday night after they left It is completely new experience for me and it was very exciting and interesting to watch my boy in this new capacity
Thank you again for your help, I appreciate it very much!
Now back to work...:-(