Isabel, if my daughter wanted to shave her legs, I'd hand her a razor, blond hair or no. Eleven's not that young. Many girls are menstruating already, so turning into women. I have a daughter too, who will be eleven at the end of this year. It hasn't occurred to her to shave yet, but there have been a few other things, like ear piercing. I've always tried to strike a balance with these kinds of things. I don't want to encourage her to grow up too fast, but I also don't want her to feel like the only girl who's not allowed to do stuff. I was that girl -- the very last to be allowed those rites of passage, like get my ears pierced, wear lipstick, etc -- and I can remember how dorky and left-out I felt. (Plus, it made me conceal things from my mom. If you're not allowed to do things that everyone else is doing, sometimes you find a way to do it in secret). Try being the ONLY girl in class who doesn't shave her legs. I actually remember that one -- I was sitting on a grassy hill at lunch with a bunch of girls, and one of them noticed my hairy blond shins and gleefully ridiculed me. You're going to need a lawnmower for those, girl. It wasn't gentle ribbing -- it was the kind of mocking meant to exclude.
Fitting in is important at that age. If the other girls are doing it, I let my daughter to it, too, as long as it's not physically dangerous or ridiculously sexual. If there's something I'm not so sure about, I check in with the other moms and see what their take is. Like, when three or four other girls -- daughters of women whose judgment I respect -- got their ears pierced, I let my daughter do it, too. But did I let her wear makeup to her grade five school leaving ceremony? No. (Even though a few other girls were wearing quite a lot. But the girls wearing makeup were daughters of the moms who have iffy judgment. The "sensible" moms were on my side for this one!).
Anyway, the way I see it, shaving your legs is a step toward adulthood, but it's harmless.
As for your son, all I can say is, I've heard that lots of teenaged boys are perpetually famished. I guess all you can do is feed him! He body must need the red meat. It's putting on muscle at a rapid rate, as his testosterone levels rise. He needs the protein.
