Lauren Hutton last month is an inspiration for my future, since fifty begins this year and she's turning 70.

http://afemmeduncertainage.blo.....t-iii.html

leather moto, skinny jeans, snazzy sneaks.

I want to be her when I grow up

I pretty much agree with Rae. I don't think you need to box yourself in too much related to your age, or fret too much about if what you are wearing is "age-appropriate." You have fabulous style and great instincts!

Love those pics of Lauren Hutton, Rambling Ann!

This is a great post, Denise. This is an issue we all wonder about...and need to discuss. At 51, I'm right there with you, weighing and deciding what is still ok and what isn't.

I do believe that your gut instincts and feeling of personal comfort should be your guiding lights, rather than some arbitrary list someone else draws up about the perfect "over 40" wardrobe. Plus, your lifestyle has a big influence on what you wear. Since your look skews more casual, I think you can continue wearing many of the "maybe/questionable" items on your list....maybe with some modifications, as others suggested.

Ooops! I turn 60 next month, and I probably don't think about age appropriateness enough, just as I never thought about whether something was on trend before YLF. Truth be told, I don't think I ever wore the looks you left behind or even your Maybes.

Are *Women of a Certain Age* expected to be somewhat INVISIBLE? Last year, I bought loud blue suede booties, and last week I bought silver mirror oxfords. Both items are classic styles but admittedly attention-getters. Same with my penchant for zebra stripes and dalmation dots. Too young?

And then, there's the admonition to look more sophisticated and elegant. Maybe it's my Japanese heritage and very round face, but it's all I can do to veer away from looking cute; elegance and sophistication are pretty much beyond my reach. How do other people do it?

Good post, Denise. It's interesting, now that I'm over 40+, *I* am bothered by the idea of wearing childish things. Actively. Bows, ruffles, shorter skirts, and pink simply turn my stomach. I don't know what they'd do to other people, should I wear them, but I'd be nauseating myself. I don't want children to tell me my clothes are cool; I want my clothes to make them call me "m'am"!

Ok. I'm trying to see if I can come up with a test for styles. I'm thinking right now... any given style needs to:

• Communicate my age group accurately
• Communicate my level of command / level of responsibility accurately
  
• Not interfere with my dignity

to pass the test.

Rachylou, I like your short, concise style test. For me, I am looking to present myself to the world at large in a way that says here is a sophisticated active 52 year old Mom who is proud of who she is, where she is in life and satisfied/happy with her circumstance.

There are tons of cute clothes that look great on my 12 year old daughter or on my 19 year old baby sitter or the college students down the street. Not for me.

I see great stylish women when I shop at Nordstrom downtown or Bellevue Square but not necessarily at the school playground. Seattle is not a fashion mecca, fleece and dansko rule. However, I am from NYC and have always loved looking stylish.

What I have found is that I need to shop a bit higher end to achieve more of a sophisticated look. I have posted a few WIWs that are outfits that I really love and feel great in. And they can be worn by someone younger or older than me. Better cuts, a more mature take on a trend, better fabrication looks better on a more mature individual. When I wear clothes from lower end retailers, they do not fit as well, look as good and I worry that I will see someone much younger wearing the same thing.

Denise, I love your pinterest board because you put things on there that you like knowing that some won't be in your closet, like the bare mid-riff. We can wear most of them with some minor tweaks (i.e. no holes in our denim, no low cut tops) But we should continue to wear our colored skinny jeans, our denim jackets, our booties, our camo and everything that makes us happy.

I am glad so many of us are chiming in with our opinions. This is an invaluable thread and one that gives us food for thought.

This is a great thread Denise, and as someone who joined the 55+ group recently of great interest. I have been finding myself in a bit of a reevaluation phase lately myself.

I have always had a fairly classic style so many of the things I wore as a young woman like blazers always work. I do find myself increasingly feeling challenged in finding the sweet spot between "youthful vibe" and "trying too hard" which is where I don't want to be. My "fashion spirit animals" like Ines de la Fressange help me judge what might work at this stage of life and the YLF site is a great help too.

Two trends I notice for myself. Quality of items seems to be more important although a high/low look is often the way to get a more stylish "I know what's going on" outfit. Secondly, I find myself adding a little more "edge" than ever to keep it fresh. I ask my harshest critic (teenage son) for a disaster check sometimes but I dress more for myself now and care less what others think.

Denise, you have wonderful style and can pull off all of the maybe looks if you want to...you have the figure, sophistication and coolness to do anything!

I'm thinking about my mom's style...I feel like she dresses too "young" for her age, but I think it's more that she wears things just a little too tight and she loves trendy items and a lot of bling. I don't think those things apply in your case. Keep rocking on!

While you have a casual west coast trendiness, you are never owned by what you wear, and, from what I'm been able to glean, your clothes are accurately representing "you" to the world. Editing for many factors, including age, is always helpful, but I'd encourage you to follow the Pirate Code --- make them more like guidelines than rules!

I'm so glad you started this conversation, Denise!
Let me start by saying that you have excellent instincts and look unerringly fabulous, so whatever you're doing, keep it up!

I understand completely the concern about age-appropriateness. I also find it really tricky, especially with a casual lifestyle. I'll be 60 this year, and sometimes I fear I'm walking a fine line between young-at-heart and ridiculous.

I'm completely in agreement on your list of things you've left behind. Most of those can be summarized in my mind by "overly revealing", with the exception of the Uggs with skinnies, and that is more of a style issue than an age issue, IMO.

The "big question mark" items are trickier, and I think the answer is to use moderation and consider your context. This is where your excellent judgment comes into play, and I haven't seen you go wrong. It helps a lot that you have a slim, youthful figure. I'm not so slim, so I have to be a little more careful.
But I think you can wear the items you're questioning, but less extreme versions of those styles will probably look the best.

Camo? Graphic tees?- Sure! Why not? I have a subdued camo tee that I wear with a jacket, and I don't think it's too crazy. Joy looks fabulous in her graphic tee with a blazer.

Boho? I wouldn't recommend a full-on aging hippie look ;-), but something like a peasant top with white jeans and sandals could look terrific!

Open back tops? Maybe worn over a camisole, or a more slightly dipped back neckline.

Statement necklaces and bracelets? Go for it!
I hear you about the neck issues, but I'm mostly ignoring mine. I'm finding that I'm feeling more comfortable not baring too much of my upper arms these days, which is sad, and a pain in hot weather, but with a little creativity it's manageable, and some fun bracelets might just call attention down to my forearms, which still look fine.

I think your introspection about what works is healthy and is part of what makes your style great and not over-the-top. Know that you're not alone in trying to figure it out. We're bound to make some questionable calls from time to time, but personally I'd rather do that than to play it totally boring and safe.

There's no age limit to having fun with fashion!

Denise, first of all, thank you for this post! I enjoyed reading it. You are a style inspiration, and I think you will "get it right" regardless of our input. Having said that, I think your questions are real and relevant, and while there may not be a cut-and-dried answer to every one, I'll offer what input I can (which basically means my personal opinions, which are of course subjective).

I'll start by saying that I agree with all the stuff you've already "left behind a while ago". That's all stuff I've left behind too, and I'm 40. (That is, if I wore it at all in the first place).

As for the question marks, I think you can wear the following at any age, if you get the details right: camo, graphic tees, white moto vests, rock n' roll, statement necklaces (nothing wrong with a neck that has creases), and all-black outfits (if they are classy). I'm not sure about boho -- at a certain age, the risk of looking too "bag lady" increases. If by "beanies" you mean toques/ski hats, I think the answer is maybe. Skinny jeans? Well, you have the bod for it. But IKWYM, it might look too juvenile if they are ridiculously tight. Not sure what neckstrap tees and arm parties are, so can't offer my opinion there.

As for the looks you're leaving behind because you don't like the way they look on you -- well, I think a lot of women of any age might agree. Flats with midi skirts is a tough look to pull off for most of us. I think a woman of any age can wear Cons, though, if they were part of her style all along.

Yes, at age 59, I know what you mean. It's not the number or the decade or half-decade, it's suddenly seeing more aging in my face over just a couple of months. That happened to me a couple of years ago and made me feel that I had crossed another line (ignore the pun). Even though I'm just a few years older than Suz and MaryK and some others, I feel that I crossed some invisible line in age from them. I can't even define right now any item of clothing they wear that I wouldn't, but somehow I feel that there's a barrier behind me. It's not the number, it's my reflection in the mirror.

You know best for yourself what you want to wear, but I also think you can still wear a lot of the items you mentioned, because your looks really are rocker chick, you're authentic in your style. In contrast, I'm cursed with conservative looks and could not pull it off in my 20s. Especially as items like camo and graphic tees become more mainstream, they're easier to wear. I love Joy in her graphic tee with a blazer and have been looking around for one myself. As long as not too revealing or tight or holes, you'll be fine.

I have been considering the question mark list. These are my thoughts:

Camo chic - Would be good on a clutch, like I saw in Lucky, bad on ankle strap flats (which are toddler shoes).
Graphic tees - Eh. Well I wear them to the bakery, but there's not much other opportunity for expression thru clothing there. I don't wear them otherwise. Searching for your identity is for children.
Skinny, skinny jeans especially in light colors (pastel, white, cream) - It's the stick leg thing, so I agree. I don't think it looks good on young people either, but they have some baby fat to counteract a bit. Over 25, everybody just looks like a scrawny old man.
White moto vest -- unless I can find one I can afford in real leather - I think you could, but I see the point. You're beyond the experimental stage when it comes to a white moto vest.
Backpacks (breaks my heart) - Ok, but when you are 70 you can start carrying them again. My mom has taken them up and looks so cute!
Graphic sweaters and sweatshirts that are “cute” - Ya. Enuf said.
Very Boho looks - I agree. Things get too droopy with extreme boho.
Very rock & roll looks - The rock n' roll needs to be infused with elegance. I think that's what David Bowie did and it's worked extremely well. He has aged gracefully whereas Mick Jagger has not, IMO.
All-black outfits - I think this would be OK actually, unless it washes you out.
Distressed tees and “neckstrap” tees - Only kiddies mess up their clothes. Yep.
Open back tops - For evening wear, I think it would be ok. Otherwise, yes, only kiddies mess up their clothes.
Beanies - Well, I think they're necessary for warmth.
Statement necklaces that put too much focus on my (ehem) neck - I don't know that this is an age thing. I think you are personally modern and sleek and short necklaces around the neck are shrimpifying for your look. But you could go baroque once in a while for fun.
Arm party - Don't know what this is...?


haha. Me, myself and I in the peanut gallery...

Arm party is bunch of stacked bracelets right? I use this to distract from the neck. I totally hear you on the neck issue. Seemed to happen overnight....
I once heard someone say "show what you have left" which is interesting approach.

More scarves Mr. Sulu (spelling?) is my counter on the neck thingy.

Denise, I'm with Angie on the questionable items. You have amazing style instincts! It's not like you're going to pair all of them together at once, and all of these would look especially fab when paired with sophisticated items. I'm also thinking that this list includes some things that you've moved on from, style wise.

However there's plenty on that list that I'm positive you would totally rock in the most appropriate way:

• camo (a little goes a long way, especially in an unexpected item)
• white moto vest (I don't see how this is a question, it seems totally you)
• backpacks (a luxe backpack sounds right up your alley)
• very boho looks (though this could be tempered to include just one or two boho items if it feels uncomfortable)
• very rock & roll looks (your R&R looks are always incredibly sophisticated, I don't see this as an issue at all; could also be tempered by mixing in more classics if necessary)
• distressed tees (pair with elegant pants/shoes!)
• open-back tops (situational but I have a hunch you'd rock these, maybe with small back openings so it's an elegant peek?)
• beanies (cute for all ages IMO, but you could switch to a slouchy half-beret-half-beanie)
• arm party (luxe materials would give you a very posh eclectic vibe)

Also, happy early birthday :}

First on my mind -- I want to thank those of you who said you trust my judgement and style instincts to figure out this age + fashion equation! I'm going to call you out: RoseandJoan, Diane G, Vix, Suz, Angie, Isis, Alicat, Alaskagirl, Rae, Mo, Firecracker (cool backpack!) and that's just the first page, I haven't fully digested the second page of comments yet. I will comment on those next.

So, for page 1:

I like the way Peri put it -- that it used to just be, do I like it, and does it look good on me. Now it's also: am I allowed to wear this? How will I be seen, how will I be judged? Will I be seen as too keen to follow a trend, not strong enough for someone my age (as Vildy so eloquently put it)? At heart, this is a fairly loaded topic that gets into all sorts of questions about age. I couldn't agree with Bette Davis more: aging is not for sissies.

I also wanted to thank those of you who pointed out that some of my areas of doubt may be a style evolution. (Diane G, LynD, Janet, Rae). Something to think about.

Suze an Deborah, thanks for the solutions to my question marks -- I guess I don't have to give up on graphic or logo or attitude tees just yet. Or camo.

Jenanded -- thanks for the nice comment, so appreciated. I will now be on the hunt for a camo scarf!

Sarah -- the cute fashion sweatshirt question is this. I love those Wildfox Couture big sloppy sweaters and sweatshirts with big bows or stars on them. That's what I think I'm too old for. (So Rae there are some cute things I like, if they are RATE enough.)

Vix -- couldn't agree more about fast fashion, it is dangerous ground for me.

Tex -- Your story was hilarious. I used to see women like that when I lived in LA, I figured they were looking for attention.

Gaylene and Vildy -- your comments make me think I am on the right track in being more trend restrictive. Thanks for the honesty.

Jamie -- I think your outfit sounds fabulous! And you are young, you need to remind your friend that she is too.

Laura -- you bring up an interesting question. Some things I feel ready to let go of. Other things I feel I must. A skinny jean, yes it's part of my signature style. But when it's white or light, I feel like every curve of my backside or thigh is visible, and I fear it is immodest for someone my age. (So those cream skinnies are probably going back.)

Shevia and Firecracker -- I wore really short skirts up until age 50. I am short, short skirts look good on me. I just gave them up prior to YLF. I would still wear them at a beach resort though. As Angie said, context matters.

Now off to digest page 2...

Aida and Rachylou -- thank you for the solutions -- and humor.

Aida -- a luxe backpack and white moto vest are on my wishlist now! I wish I wouldn't look so silly pulling out my old nylon Prada backpack from the 90s.

Gingko -- it's when I catch a glance of myself sideways that I think (sagging face, anyone), the face and body/clothing need to match now! That is where so much of my introspection comes from.

Aziraphale -- to tell the truth I might continue to wear the beanies when it's cold, as you said. But as a fashion statement, maybe not. Again context matters.A beanie in the mountains, yes. At a nightclub in LA (as if I would even be there), no. Here is the neck strap tee I am so oddly attracted to: http://www.revolveclothing.com.....um=affilia

Jonesy -- I like your "don't worry" attitude! And thanks for having faith in my style.

Parsley -- I'm so glad I heard from you. You are one of my icons here on YLF. You have fabulous style and great taste in what you acquire.

Beth Ann -- I deeply appreciate your comment perhaps more than you would know.

(Never heard of the pirate code! Lol.)

GP Natalie -- thank you for your kind words. It is interesting how you react to your Mother's style. My own Mother has been non-fashion for decades due to her weight, which always made me sad. At least your Mom sounds like she's enjoying fashion.

Hi again Coco--

Your "face and clothes need to match feeling" is definitely one you need to either embrace or love subverting.

Personally I understand the discomfort that can occur but the Gilded Lily goes for the former. In fact a few weeks ago we were meeting up in a specific spot and I saw a woman with long wavy blond hair, great posture, skinny jeans, tunic, jewelry, and flats and thought -- there she is! I went over and it was a woman in her 30s that I knew, ha/whoops!

A few minutes later here comes TGL, with straightened grey-blonde hair and heels but much the same silhouette. Man, did she enjoy hearing my little mix-up story....

Expressing who we are (in any area of life) comes with external judgement that may carry a price, but also an internal freedom that's priceless.

Denise, I love that you are ready to let some things go. That is such a positive and healthy instinct - We need to move forward at every age! Out with the old, in with the new. Happy birthday to you

Denise, you have great taste. Keep on doing what you are doing. You can wear all of your questionables, I think the trick is to make the look come off as "expensive". I have abandoned lots of things and I'm 38. It is not about age, I don't think. Maybe you are growing past trendy to something else, which I see happening a lot here.

Wanted to put my two cents in about "age-appropriate" fashion, since I just turned sixty-two.
I've also discovered there's a BIG difference between sixty and sixty-two! I love bracelets and --all of a sudden-- after trying one on last week, there is some prominent wrinkling on my bony forearm! Whaaaa?
This aging stuff is definitely not for sissies... Every month, it seems there's a new area that I need to shift my focus away from. So what's left? The whole process tends to make me skittish, b/c I will buy something that looks okay, and then have doubts later. Like, what were you thinking? You're not forty years old anymore, you're not even sixty!
Example: Just got a pair of RLauren straight jeans in cream to wear this spring; then read your comment about how light colored jeans show too many flaws. So now I'm wondering if these new jeans are inappropriate? I just don't know anymore. When younger, I never even thought about such minutia.
You have such good fashion judgement Denise. (They are not skinny jeans, but pretty tight! But I always wear a longer tee or blouse to cover hip/groin area.)
I've made peace with my aging body shape except for the facial lines that get more pronounced every month. I may be SYC for awhile and shop plastic surgery instead! ha!

What a fab post and following posts by Fabbers ! I have really enjoyed this. This is something that I have been contemplating quite a bit because I will be 50 next year and I am getting less stuffy and conservative since being on YLF.

With that said, Denise, I think that defining what is appropriate encompasses so much more than age. I love Rambling Ann'e post. And like others have said, it includes how we put ourselves together overall. How our bodies look, how our hair looks ( coloring ) , how our skin looks, what we do and so on. You look amazing. I honestly thought you were in your very early 40s.

I agree with some of the things that you wrote, but maybe it won't matter or you can tweak a bit. Like the skinny jeans.

Anyway, thank you for throwing this out there and sharing it with us.

Just reading and taking in. As someone who is undoubtedly at the other end of the trend spectrum I live vicariously though your ability to unmistakably pick the trends that will reflect you and wear them without a single indication that anything is ever inapropriate in any way. If it's of any relevance, there is 14.5 years between us and you are the trendy one - so much about trend-y being reserved for 'younger' population. Be proud firstly because you know your likes and dislikes; the lucky coincidence is your likes overlap to a great extent with what's new and fresh in terms of fashion, so you come across as much in tune with modern times as as with your age. Your looks are never labored, but very pleasant on the eye.

FWIW, before finding out the number I had you placed in mid-40s. If I saw the close-up, perhaps I'd be closer to your actual age, but I don't really care. Would I really think difefrently about an outfit if I thought you were 35 or 55? No. The point I'm trying to make is that whatever you wear, it always looks and feels you. It doesn't send the wrong message of any kind and reflects you the way you come across in your posts. And that's simply it. The fact you have a list of what you've left behind is probably a mix of both - things just not being right for what you feel is your age appropriate and your style and tastes evolving.

After all, check Advanced Style and every concern about too much of this or that at any age really is out of place IF the wearer can carry it.

p.s.
Btw, I don't want to hijack the thread, but what happened with Picture Perfect Challenge entries from you?

I have started to reply to this several times and feel like my reply is not making sense so I delete it. At almost 59 this question is coming up more often in my own mind. Things like short skirts and shorts I left behind a long time ago. More because my legs have not aged well. A flirty skirt I would wear in a heartbeat at the right length. You have great instincts and you ALWAYS look apporpiate to me.
We all also have different feelings on aging. Society as a whole puts a lot of emphasis on aging. I too catch glimspes of myself somedays and think that can't possibly be me. My image of myself sometimes does not match up with what I actually see.
As far as the things you might give up. Maybe as suggested refinement can save the things you really love. I absolutely love a arm party some days more than others and it something I don't see changing but I have seen a change in the bracelets I buy. I am far more picky about it than I use to be. Like you calling attention to my neck is not something I want to do but I recently bought a necklace that holds some meaning to me and I am enjoying wearing it. Sometimes I think our style perferences change and we evolve.
Happy early birthday and you will look fabulous as always!

Ack! Just lost a long reply. I've been reading this thread with interest but don't know where to begin. I'll try later after dinner.

This photo always makes me smile. I'm 32 and while I'd never wear what this woman is wearing, to me she looks age-inappropriate and confident and happy and like she doesn't care what others think. I hope to get to that place someday, rollerblades optional.

Denise, you have clearly done some soul-searching and with that there is a certain confidence in you refining your style as the years progress. I have complete confidence in you, because you pay attention to the details.

Jules expressed it so well and I echo her comments. Your list is so comprehensive and will certainly help others find their way. Thanks, big time!

It is hard to compete with so many thoughtful and thought through replies so I won't even try I really can just repeat what others said and that won't be interesting to read.
For myself when I think about age inappropriate dressing for a woman 'of a certain age' the main criteria is this: is she trying to desperately cling to her youth and dress this way because she thinks it makes her look younger? If the answer is 'yes' then this is age-inappropriate for me. All things from your "leave behind" list fall into this category for me so I completely agree.
You have a great style which is very unique and feels completely you. It never crossed my mind seeing your WIW that anything you wear is too young. As Angie said it is not WHAT but HOW you wear that matters.
Like Mo I want to be you when I grow up and look as stylish and cool as you are at 55!

Denise I have only just now had time to fully ready our post & a lot of the comments but stopped after a while because they were all saying what I would say. You seem to already know what you're doing. You always look stylish & age appropriate. I agree with the items you're leaving behind. I don't need to repeat everything else that has been said but wanted to comment that you're one very stylish lady.