Handshake Capsule - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Handshake Capsule

Beth Ann

Veteran

Time to make a new capsule, and this one needs some forethought!

We're in the midst of a big move -- from Chicago to Indianapolis. After selling the home in 4 days, we managed to find a new home to land in (yay)! Now, of course, there are all kinds of bureaucratic wrangling with loan officers, inspections, blah di blah blah! Then, on top of that, there is the planning, the notifications, the boxes, boxes, boxes!

I'm gonna make it, and I'm gonna be awesome!

As I pack up the bedroom, I'm planning for:
1. 2 weeks worth of outfits that will take me through the actual physical relocation. These looks need to be more casual and comfortable, but versatile enough to handle that run to Home Depot.

2. My Handshake Capsule. These are clothes that will represent me as I begin developing neighborhood and work contacts. How I dress is an important as a friendly smile and a firm grasp. And I need your help!

What criteria do you use when dressing to meet people for the first time?

Dressing

38 replies

Latest reply was from Firecracker (Sharan)

Traci

Veteran

It's really important to me that I'm very comfortable in my dress when I am trying to make a good impression. If I'm wearing something hot or fussy I just can't relax and be my best self.

Blazers are my favorite for pulling together an outfit and adding polish and business.

You're going to be great!

columbine(erin)

Veteran

For meeting new people I'd probably pull out tried and true outfits that I know I'm comfortable in and look my best. Good luck with your move, I do hope all the details work out well for you!

DonnaF

Veteran

I would go for flattering, friendly colors. For me, that would probably be coral instead of black and charcoal. I would save my poison eye looks like my super wide leg pants for a later meeting, although I might wear something a little wacky like my very blue suede booties because they can be a conversation starter but they are a conservative style, unlike Fluevogs.

Congrats! But I'm sad you're moving because one of these years I'll probably be visiting Chicago since I envision DD settling there.

Jeweled

Veteran

Have your Chicago hair stylist give you a cut right before you move, so you'll feel confident with fab hair as you meet your new friends and neighbors!

That will also give you some time to get recommendations for your new Indianapolis hair stylist before you're desperate for another cut.

When my hair is heading toward needing a trim, I just feel bushy and unkempt - but a fresh cut makes me feel much more polished and chic!

E

Veteran

Congrats Beth Ann!!!

I make sure whatever I'm wearing isn't fussy (i.e. having to hike jeans up after I've been sitting or needing to check on my neckline or make sure a bra strap isn't peeking or having to peel a skirt off tights...you get the idea). After that, I aim for friendly and appropriate to whatever setting I'm going to be in. And then if I still need to narrow it down, I pick something in a favourite colour that makes my eyes sparkle. And add sentimental jewelry for luck.

Sal

Veteran

Exciting times Beth Ann, I would go with outfits that you feel great in, and that suit you.

Yes I think a good haircut is a great idea Jeweled.

Enjoy and good luck!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Congratulations on moving onto your next, how exciting.

I wear something that makes me feel comfortabe and confident espically moving and meeting new people. When I do this I shine when intern makes me feel at ease.

Joy

Veteran

Congratulations! How exciting. You pose an excellent question.
You can't go wrong with jeans in the Midwest. I'd wear nice fitting jeans with cute, well fitting interesting tops and maybe a topper. Wear what helps you feel confident and your big warm smile.

Mellllls

Veteran

how exciting! i recommend smart casual looks for the handshake capsule. nice name

Beth Ann

Veteran

Excellent ideas! Thanks so much!

Traci: I'm planning on wearing a simple chambray blazer for the house inspection and meeting some school officials. The chambray says "not a Diva," but the blazer say "put together."

Columbine: Since there's been little money for buying new clothing, tried and true shouldn't be difficult! At least I did some good refreshing recently!

Donna: Color is my secret weapon! And you've reminded me that some of my favorite outfits aren't "edgy," but incorporate one notable item --- metallic shoes, a pair of dramatic earrings, one bold print.

Jeweled: My most recent Chicago cut was tragic. I haven't had time or money to fix it, so it's been constant curling irons and low ponytails! You are wise, and I should try to fix this!

E: Fuss free dressing is key --- and good underpinnings, as you've reminded me! Color makes me feel friendly and confident, so I see plenty of that in my capsule!

Thanks, Kiwigal!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Ladywone: Confidence that includes others, instead of outshining them == that's what I'm going for!

Joy: So true about jeans! Although I'm not a jeans first kind of girl, I do find they put people at ease!

Mellllls: Smart casual is perfect for summer, and for the environments I'll be entering. I do these look far better than I do extremely sporty or uber-causal looks. Of course, I really like fancy-dress! If my lifestyle only allowed for it!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Beth Ann, my suggestion would be to dress as if you were giving a voice lesson. What do you think?
Congratulations on the move, and good luck with all the work that's ahead of you to make this major step happen!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

@ Beth Ann "Confidence that includes others, instead of outshining them == that's what I'm going for!" Oh I have to go and sit on the couch and think about this statement. That might be a good thread for off topic. I wonder if people think I try to outshine them because I tend to be a bit flamboyant in what I choose to wear. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Do you sometimes unintentionally outshine someone with what you wear? I hope that isn't an offensive question.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Fabulous news! And you're going to make a great impression. All you need to do is smile.

I really like Jewell's advice to get your hair done. Maybe get a pedicure, too. For that extra bit of polish. Then, the chambray blazer sounds perfect, maybe with one of your fab pencil skirts, but one that's super comfortable and easy to move in and doesn't mean fussy.

I might try to get a sense of what people wear in your new city. Do people dress the same as in Chicago? I know that people in my small city dress quite differently than in Toronto, or even the suburbs of Toronto. This is a much more casual, outdoorsy town. If I am dressing to "fit in" I have to be aware of this. Typically, I try to straddle a line -- but I also have to keep practical matters in mind, and as I do so, I realize that this is partly what others are doing as well, and part of why the city is more casual.

Beth Ann

Veteran

Firecracker: Voice Lesson wear is definitely smart casual -- updated, but not super trendy. That would work!

Ladywone: As a creative performer type, I've got a healthy dose of "ta-da" going on. I don't dress flamboyantly, but I'm often just a bit dressier than my environment. I don't think people often think I'm trying to outshine them --- more like they perceive that I'm just different from them. I'd like them to feel like I'm dressing as I do because it's fun and comfortable, and that I just enjoy being with them and pass no judgement on what they wear or how they look. Of course, when I'm with my Diva tribe, I'm considered very "natural" and "low key!"

Suz; I'm not sure about the environmental norms yet, although in May there's a whole lot of black and white in honor of the Indy 500 race. That'll be easy! I actually think my area might be dressier than my Chicago suburb. Where I live now it's more "Da bears," than "Da Opera!" And I'll be a lot closer to Nordstrom's (about 7 miles away)!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Beth Ann thank you for the explanation.

AJ

Veteran

Congrats on the quick sale of your home!! Plus, you already found one to move into...wow!

I like Firecracker's suggestion of wearing your teaching outfits.

Do you think the move will result in a style shift?

Beth Ann

Veteran

Ladywone: I would love to hang with you --- flamboyance is joy!

Beth Ann

Veteran

AJ: I'm ready for change in general, so I'm expecting a style shift, but I can't yet see what it will be. I'm feeling a full toward more romantic looks again, and am growing interested in different silhouettes -- wide leg and high waisted pants, for example. I have some career reinvention to do, so I imagine that will have an influence, too!

AJ

Veteran

Oh how fun! Can't wait to see the new romantic chapter in your style journey!

I seem to be having a boho-light style shift this spring/summer.

Beth Ann

Veteran

AJ: You would do boho-lite with great panache. With me, it's more like "boho-no!"

Adelfa

Veteran

It will be useful to size up the new peeps and how they dress as quickly as possible. As Suz says, there can be big regional differences, and how a given style is perceived in one locale can be really different in another. I'm saying this based on my own fairly recent move. There simply are no absolutes regarding what clothing says. It's all relative!

Summer

Veteran

Congratulations on finding your new home. What a whirlwind you've had, renovating, selling and now relocating. I hope you'll be very happy in your new location.

What a great strategy to plan capsules for moving and greeting. For meeting new people, I just like to look relaxed and approachable - so I would opt for something that makes me feel comfortable and confident.

Good luck with the move.

lyn67

Veteran

IMHO you cannot go wrong, no matter what-I even think all your outfits seen here along times are too good for shaking hands:-), you don't have to make a new capsule for this-you don't need to pay extra effort for that! Congrats for selling the house and wish you a hassle free and quick relocating to the new one!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Adelfa: So true! There really are wardrobe micro-climates!

Summer: Thanks for congrats!

Lyn: Thanks for your kind words! YLF has been so helpful over the last few years, and to have a closet that "works" is wonderful!

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I was going to say pretty much what Lyn did. You don't need to worry... the most important thing with first impressions is to be YOU, not dress for who you think they want you to be. And I think you do a bang up job of that already.

Olivegreen

Congrats on being coherent in the middle of a big move. Being stylish on top of that is a tall order!
I am not a flamboyant type, but love looking at and hanging with the performers. So my method might not work for you.
Have moved so many times, countries and cultures. I tend to go in, in stealth and underplayed mode, scope it out, identify the people who have a little of what i want, and make some adjustments. It is just another performance, really, and dressing the part to express what is wanted, a goal. As you are clearly saying.
I find that asking people on the scene for advice on shopping and presentation is never taken amiss, a flood of useful info from the local experts and usually, some really funny insider views. Insta friend, which is lovely.
Good luck relocating, i love the challenge, even when exhausted.

Windchime

Veteran

Beth Ann, what an exciting time for you and your family! (although somewhat nervewracking, too, I'm sure.) You're getting lots of great advice here about wardrobe specifics for your "handshake capsule." With your wonderful smile and lovely personality, just be yourself, and you will attract new friends.

The chambray blazer sounds like a great idea.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Keep a swimsuit at hand. And something to wear to a BBQ, just in case the neighbors invite your kids to a Memorial Day party, or there's a community event you want to go to, or you need to get away from the boxes and go to the local swimming pool to get the kids out of your hair for a couple hours.

I found new neighbors tend to drop in at inconvenient moments of unpacking regardless...have some ice tea and red solo cups ready. Sometimes I think it's just deliberately nosy

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