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Feeling femininity?

Runcarla

Veteran

I'm a C- student in the school of fashion and style, and one of the subjects that I struggle the most with is style descriptors. Mostly I think there was some Kibbe Natural, otherwise there was some Classic and some Tom Boy or Gentlewomen in my style. Also, a bIt of Academichic (thank you Racheylou.)

In the past 6 weeks I'm feeling a huge wave of desire to dress in a womanly/feminine way. It started with BR pussy bow blouses, and now I'm wearing pearls, vintage pins, and some shine/bling! Also, letting hair get longer, with a less 'sharp' cut.

Angie was articulating this and using terms like 'allure' and revisiting some aspects of maximalism, retro and femininity more than half a year ago.

Is anyone else 'feeling' this? (I'm having trouble articulating where I want to go - style wise, and would welcome some help.)

General

31 replies

Latest reply was from unfrumped

Anonymous

I am, and am glad you started the conversation. Where it goes with me remains to be seen , but I can see it being a season- long progress with a lot of trying on and experimenting . And just a fun aside , Academichic is the best name ever .

Traci

Veteran

Yes! I think this was part of my "crisis" a few weeks ago. In my move towards more minimal I washed away all the femininity from my wardrobe. I started bringing it back with color first. Blush and magenta and scarlet are all singing loudly to me. I'm also feeling lace and velvet, big time, but I'm off of ruffles. I've also bought a few bold lippies lately.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

I see the Gentlewoman part. I recently realized that "Gentlewoman" is/should be the core of my style identity. And I see the Gentlewoman style-elements that I connect with in the recent outfits you've shared. For myself, I accepted "Gentlewoman" as it seemed to have fewer disconnects than did other style identities that I considered. For example, I was considering "Gamine" but I know I don't have the waif-like, pixie-like element that I consider crucial for "Gamine" and I briefly considered the merits of "Tomboy" but I feel more polished and elegant than that. So my decision was made more through the process of elimination. I pushed the idea of each style until it broke and Gentlewoman hung in there longer than did its rivals.

Are you also wondering whether Gentlewomanly style is trending, in general? I don't see that, but I'd be glad if it did.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Carla, I wish I were the type to dress in a more feminine way! I understand you sudden impulse -- I have had similar ones myself -- but it never works out for me. I would love to be womanly and sexy, but I'm just not! Lol. Hope it works out better for you. As far as suggestions, here's mine: if you have a waist to reveal, do so. Higher waisted skirts and/or trousers paired with a soft drapey blouse always seem alluringly feminine to me.

carter

Veteran

Very interesting. I've been seeing a bit of Katharine Hepburn in your dressy style of late. I think it suits you!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Katherine Hepburn's a great icon for you. She managed always to be feminine in her gentlewomanly way.

I think your sporty side is getting a bit softer. That's part of it.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Absolutely. Just yesterday I added a beads and softer lipstick on the same impulse.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Yes, yes, YES.

Carla, I started moving away from simple, strict, and less structured tomboy outfits at the beginning of 2015, and I’m still on that leg of my style journey. At the end of 2015, I changed my aspirational style persona to something I call “Urban Pretty”, which emphasizes the soft, ladylike, structural, polished and pretty components of an outfit. In 2016 I continued to embrace this direction. I’m back to loving romantic flounces, ruffles, retro, pearls, frocks, structure, scarves, necklaces, maximal combinations and all things pretty. Cut my hair back into a polished pixie too.

Feminine dressing for me does NOT mean long hair, high heels, painted finger nails, skirts and dresses only, body con fits and lots of allure. I will continue to wear flats, Converse, oxfords, jeans, trousers, fluid fits and military inspired items but with lots of dainty refinement.

shedev

Veteran

Ive done this with makeup, and have come back around to more fitted items.

Joy

Veteran

Yes. Many older women start to look like little old men or gnomes. I am fighting this with softer fabrics and colors, but ruffles and frills just don't work on an angular body. Angie, I will put your Urban Pretty component words on y phone notes to refer to before making any purchases.

Anonymous

Yes, I'm very interested in femininity.
I want to do this through longer curly hair and maybe some more drape like palazzo pants and a maxi skirt.

Ginkgo

Veteran

This probably explains why I've recently bought shocking pink Kate Spade earrings, a deep pink and gray scarf, and a magenta cashmere sweater. Oh, and a multi-strand faux pearl necklace. Perhaps it's related to the dark days of winter?

deb

Veteran

I started by first letting my hair get long and then I bought 3 dresses last year. Not sure I can get back into the bow blouse but really, who knows what might happen this year.

Style Fan

Veteran

Carla I can totally see Katherine Hepburn as a style icon for you. I am thinking of gentlewoman or academichic as great phrases to describe your style. I see a softer look to your style as of late.

I like your hair longer. In terms of Kibbe I see Flamboyant Natural. Not that I am an expert. Not at all! I am still trying to figure myself out.

I am working on my style descriptors and style goals for the future. My first goal is to start wearing make up on a more regular basis. Since I retired I stopped wearing make up except for special occasions.

Anonymous

YES -- I am. Buy my change takes the form of desiring to dress more professionally and less casually at work. That will eventually translate to more feminine items. AND I love pussy bows (hate the name, love the item).

Bijou

Veteran

Yes, but then I have always had a softer, feminine element to my style. I have shoulder length blonde hair, wear make-up, and have a slim pear body shape so even dressed in a man-style suit, I still look feminine. I would love to have an athletic, boyish figure, but I was not given that and now enjoy what I was given rather than fight nature.

Finding the right feminine elements for you is the key - whether it be through colour, style of clothing/footwear, what parts of your figure you accentuate, hair and make-up.

I love your recent outfits and longer length in hair, so I hope you enjoy this next leg of your style journey.

JAileen

Veteran

Yes, for the reason Joy mentioned.

Yesterday I missed the mark, I think. I wore jeans, a plaid flannel shirt and grey Timberland boots. I wore earrings, but should have added something else, maybe a vest. I'm not sure.

ETA: these are similar to my boots, but not the exact pair

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LaPed

Veteran

I still prefer clothes that lean towards androgynous/utilitarian, with a minimum of frills, but I'm wearing my hair longer than a pixie for the first time in years, and I'm thinking brighter lippies, rather than nude-to-me shades, this year. Maybe even some eye makeup, we'll see, I have sensitive skin.

Like others, Runcarla, my immediate thought was that Kate Hepburn is a perfect style icon for you. After seeing you in your ballgown ensemble, it's clear that you'd be able to rock some elegant, iconic gentlewoman trousers!

Runcarla

Veteran

Thanks so much for your wisdom! I've been reading and re-reading your comments and there is resonance and take-always in all your comments.

Traci - it does seem that the closets of minimalists (even stylish ones) can skew more masculine then feminine. Why is that? Hair, as smittie and Deb note takes on greater significance. However, as Angie so astutely points out - one needn't give up the short crop! I'm going longer because I'm not good about regular upkeep, and a short cut looses its style if not maintained.

Emily and Traci - seems you can't fight body type. A combination X/rectangle with athletic muscle and height and yet I keep pinning GAMINE and TOMBOY to my Pinterest board!? (And I hate ballet flats! LOL! )

Aziriphale - no waist here however, I'm more interested in feminine=pretty than feminine=sexy, while I want to own womanly=strong!

Carter, Suz, and Stylefan - I rediscovered Katherine Hepburn's style while researching for the 'Style Icon' challenge a while back. I've pinned a few images to my Style Inspiration board, and started rolling my shirts to above my elbows (like she did) rather than mid forearm (per usual.). Interesting what that does....

Shevia, Shedev, Ginko - 'pink' lippy and pearls are very simple things that can quite elevate a look!

Angie - your blog post about 'coming home' to your current style, and the acquisition of a 36 inch strand of pearls from Nordstroms were the catalysts for my current style quest!

Joy - LOL! I totally get the 'little old man'. What is with that? Mostly hair I think. How can a shaved nape and defined sideburns be super-feminine on some, and so harsh on others? 'Yes' to velvet and lace. Would you do a blouse with a ruffled cuff?

Sterling - most of my skirts and dresses were abandoned in favour of trousers for the sake of comfort during my hour long train commutes for work. That is why things like hair, face, and neck lines are going to be key for me.

Lisap - do post pics as you are able. You seem to grasp style concepts and trends and put together relatable outfits.

JAileen - who was it who wore pearls while working in the garden?

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Lyn D.

Veteran

Yes I am feeling this too!
My dresses are getting more wear, but I am yet to try pearls or other necklaces.
I like your inspiration pics, especially the hair in #4

Gigi

Veteran

Great responses!

I agree that hair is a biggie. When I switched to a more feminine style (I had been pretty minimalist before working on my wardrobe), the first thing I did was start growing out my hair, which had been in a very short cut for a very long time. There are a lot of interesting decorated bobby pins on the market, in case you want to try adding hair accessories without growing your hair out too much.

I also added pink to my wardrobe, which was difficult at first because it's not one of my best colors--I had to figure out how to make it work.

I think that tailored fits are excellent for feminine looks. I like the pics you posted, which show combination outfits involving one structured piece and one drapier piece that skims curves.

Heels are not everyone's cup of tea, but I do think they make an outfit more feminine. With lower block heels being all the rage right now, if you want to try heels, now would be a good time.

If you want a more elevated look (gentlewoman?), then I would probably stick to wovens more so than knits.

I think that a few well-chosen accessories--maybe a ring, or a pearl bracelet--would be helpful. A little makeup...it doesn't have to be a lot.

Maybe a spritz of perfume or an essential oil for fragrance? If you tolerate fragrance, that can be something that is very feminine.

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, I'm all for those who choose to embrace a softer, prettier look by wearing dresses, heels, ruffles, pearls, and pink lipstick, but I'm a bit dismayed that this particular "look" is still being labelled "feminine".

Associating certain styles and looks with gender or age just seems so regressive and outdated to me these days. Maybe Kate Hepburn IS a good role model because she didn't think her trousers made her "masculine"; she was an assertive, athletic woman who felt just as "feminine" in her trousers as in her dresses.

Here's to a "softer, prettier" look, not a "feminine" one.

LaPed

Veteran

Wow, Runcarla, those hairstyles you've posted (#2, 3, and 4) really resonate with me. It's a challenge for me to wrestle that much texture and mussiness out of my super-straight, fine hair, but maybe I just need to play around with some sea salt sprays and such...

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Gaylene, "feminine" has become such a loaded and almost outdated word, hasn't it. I get what you're saying - (see my comment above: Feminine dressing for me does NOT mean long hair, high heels, painted finger nails, skirts and dresses only, body con fits and lots of allure. I will continue to wear flats, Converse, oxfords, jeans, trousers, fluid fits and military inspired items but with lots of dainty refinement). I almost didn't use the word "feminine" here and don't in my blog posts - but it is a word that seems to resonate stereotypically (rightly or wrongly). To your point - you are as feminine as you feel. My short hair does not make me feel masculine at all. In fact, my new 'do feels more girly. Wearing a lovely pair of trousers makes me feel feminine too - or lets call it soft, ladylike, structural, polished and pretty.

Actually, dandy MEN wore the ruffles, frills and heels back in the 16th century. Hello New Romantics of the '80s.

Carla, HIGH FIVE. Our style journeys are headed in a similar direction.

Joy, high five.

Style Fan

Veteran

Love the pics you posted Carla. I can see you really rocking those outfits. And the hair is TDF.

Joy

Veteran

Runcarla, I would not wear a ruffled cuff. They draw attention to one's hands and mine are not attractive with large veins and now some crooked fingers due to arthritis. I also like to push up my sleeves and a cuff can get in the way. Your last inspiration picture reminds me that sheer shirts can work well for me. I have been looking for a black silk one but can never find my size before it is sold out.
Angie, "structural " especially resonates with me. Is an assymetrical cashmere pullover something that is both soft and structural?

cindysmith

Veteran

I'm one of those people who has such a visceral reaction to phrases like "more feminine", but I have also learned that it isn't my place to tell the world that feminine is so much more than just stereotypically "girly" stuff. Thinking about it that way has allowed me to open my mind, and see that generally people who use phrases like that aren't trying to limit others and they're not trying to limit femininity, they're just using the best descriptive words they can find in that moment to say what they're wanting.

I may be on the opposite end of the spectrum in that I want to explore more nontraditional ideas of femininity in my wardrobe. Whether our style goals align or not has no bearing on my desire to see you evolve and refine your personal style so that you can feel more comfortable and more joyous when you're getting dressed.

Good luck with your evolution, I look forward to watching it!

RobinF

Veteran

I think I tend to go the other direction, although I don't mind girly colors and like lace and velvet. But with my curly hair and short height I tend to look plenty feminine so usually keep the clothing and shoes more chunky (as opposed to delicate) and minimal. I think it's a reaction to being in the workplace all these years trying to be taken seriously, or maybe it's just the way I am! I totally loved your skirt and blouse for the New Years Eve wedding so you are definitely moving in a good direction!

lyn67

Veteran

...and, You did it so well, Carla!!! For ex. your NYE wedding guest attire is the most elegant, stylish and ladylike one (and I esp. didn't use the word "feminine":-)) seen in ages-and totally YOU!:-)

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