Do you suck at something you love? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do you suck at something you love?

doubleh

Veteran

This just occurred to me after seeing Dianthus's post about gardening. I realize that I LOVE flowers and making arrangements. I try to grow flowers, but nature seems to quickly get the best of me. I also love fresh vegetables and picking the fruits of labor. I'm just terrible at gardening- I get so fired up at beginning of season, but when things start to go sour, I don't know how or if there's a way to fix. Still, I love it and will keep at it. Though it can be frustrating at times. (Admittedly, I can sometimes feel the same way about fashion.)
What about you- is there something you realize you don't excel at and keep doing? What is it and do you study and try to get better, or does that suck the fun out of it to get too technical/bogged down?

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46 replies

Latest reply was from mintytulip

bj1111

Veteran

Singing out loud. I suck and i don't care.

doubleh

Veteran

Oh yes, agreed. Add that to my list. The hubs and kiddo are much more tolerable of my sucking at gardening though.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

LOL

I also love to sing, but I dare not ever subject anyone else to that horror. A nice speaking voice, but alas, I suck at singing.

I'm not a good runner at all -- I'm slow as can be -- but I still do it. Not sure I love it. I do love swimming and biking though -- and I think I'm much stronger as a swimmer or biker.

If I'm not very good at something and don't pick it up quickly, I find it very hard to continue doing it. Curse of the perfectionist.

MsMary

Veteran

Tap dancing! I call my weekly tap class The Weekly Humility Hour! LOL

Kari

Veteran

Yes. Singing, skiing, swimming, running, riding bikes. So I do those things only on my own and when I feel like it, because I don't feel like I'm being criticized or letting someone else down. Actually, with anything athletic, I'm innately bad.
I suck at playing the flute and dancing only because I'm out of practice. I don't feel especially motivated to do the work to get decent at those hobbies again.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I'm with Kari. I am not well coordinated and most sports are a challenge. I play golf VERY badly but keep on anyway. I enjoy walking and golf is a long walk with breaks to hit a little ball.

Laurie

For me, it's languages. Fascinated by them, love listening to then, but just completely have some mental block there whenever I try to learn them.

Echo

Veteran

Coordination has never been my strong suit. Normally that doesn't bother me much, as I have never wanted to play sports, but I wish I could dance. Belly dancing is my preference, though I've taken classes and I am embarrassingly bad. Now that I'm getting older, however, I am starting to care less. I am not coordinated; I am a bad dancer; but I LIKE dancing, so why not?

Deborah

Veteran

Hmm there is a list! Love singing but can't actually sing. How is it that you can have a good speaking voice and not be able to sing...I guess the two are not connected lol.

Sports... I am rubbish. Awkward and unco-ordianated, and an embarrassment to Master 11.

To be honest I tend to stay away from things I am not good at and focus on those that I am:)

Gigi

Veteran

Languages, like Laurie said, because I can't seem to think in the foreign language but am always translating in my head.

I am a terrible gardener too. I used to try to grow stuff on my balcony three stories up (in an apartment building), and the aphids and pests STILL found me there. How, I don't know. But I manage to kill just about everything. I've even killed cacti because I didn't water them enough.

I'm also not a very good dancer. I don't take classes, MsMary, but if I did, mine too would be more suited to building humility than to improving my dance ability.

I'm like you, Janet. If I don't pick up on something quickly, I am very apt to toss it aside rashly. It makes me think of how when I was a kid you didn't usually have that option, and how many things that I do well now are due to my not being able to give up as a kid.

deb

Veteran

Languages here, also. I can read and hear foreign languages but am unable to speak them. I am unable to think in any other language but English. I have even immersed myself in a foreign country and still could not think in the language.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

Playing guitar.

I love to play and have taken about a years worth of lessons. It really does take years to play well. Most players that I know started as kids.

Lyn D.

Veteran

Yes- playing the Piano.
I started too late and will never be great at it.
My DD plays so much better and has been playing for half the time I have.

Joy

Veteran

I can identify with many of you...singing and anything to do with playing music, languages, and sports. I tried for years to play an instrument but have no sense of rhythm. I can't even clap along. But I love to listen to music.

Jules

Veteran

Lots of things! One thing I am trying to teach my kids is that sometimes it's the process that counts. If you love doing something, keep at it - being "the best" soccer player or artist or whatever is not the point.
I too love working in the garden. It is relaxing, enjoyable, lightly physical and hardly feels like a chore! But the results are just ok. I've accepted that I just enjoy the activity for it's own sake. After 10 years in our house, I'm actually thinking that as part of a larger backyard renovation I might hire a landscaper for a little garden design help. Then I can happily maintain the design. Because I totally enjoy that part! I suppose it will mean giving up my small, tangled raspberry/bamboo/forsythia patch though I love all the plants! And have no room or ability to cull!
It's interesting, I was lightly making fun of my mom's gardening efforts to a friend. My friend, who has a great eye and is "project-oriented" suggested I should just gently tell my mother that maybe it's not her thing and she should give up. Well why would I do that??? She also loves working in her garden... It's the process, not the goal that matters for us.

JAileen

Veteran

Ballroom dancing! My husband and I have been taking lessons for about 18 months and we're still crummy, but it's so fun, plus it's date night for us. I couldn't believe he even agreed to do it. During one lesson I actually fell on the floor. The teacher said it was the most graceful fall he'd seen. I think it might have been more graceful to not fall at all!

Unfortunately, my friend who organized these lessons, died last week. It was so shocking to all of us. She was not sick and she was younger than me. However, she did have Type 1 Diabetes which may have had something to do with it. So I'm afraid our ballroom dancing has come to an end. We are all grieving our friend who was smart, fun, friendly, and vibrant.

Aziraphale

Veteran

This is an odd question. My experience has been that persistent practice leads to becoming good at things. I suck at a lot of things at the beginning. If I enjoy an activity, I keep doing it, and then I get better. There are things I still suck at (including gardening; apparently you have to remember to water the plants), but to paraphrase the marvellous Elizabeth Bennett, I have always supposed that to be my own fault -- because I would not take the trouble of practising!

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, I tend to agree with Elisabeth that sucking at something usually is because (1) I might like X in theory but, in reality, I don't care to expend the effort and time CONSISTENTLY to get really good at it and (2) I have unrealistic expectations about what the final product ought to look like or what is realistic goal for me.

Part of the problem, I think, is when the Martha syndrome--glorious flower beds never touched by an insect or weed, speaking French like a native, dancing and singing like a professional, playing a sport with innate grace and agility--gets battered by our realization that those achievements are not the norm. Straight A students are a rarity, although we too often act as though that standard ought to be within everyone's reach.

Being crummy at something you enjoy isn't a bad thing if you focus on the pleasure you get from the process. That's what kids do--and that's probably why they end up getting so good at things.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Drawing, sketching ... I've taken classes (and was actually removed from one), so I'm mainly an admirerer at this point. My sister is very talented in this area.

ETA: I agree with the "Martha" syndrome - I get a little antsy when things aren't perfect, but I'm getting better at letting it go.

Anonymous

I cannot throw a baseball to save my life. And it has bothered me since I was a kid. Have I done anything to rectify this? No. Which is an interesting concept. I also suck at drawing, but don't really care much about that. Throwing though - hmmm - off to practice throwing crabapples over into my neighbour's yard.

Nebraskim

Veteran

I suck at running but I still do it because I love it. I suck at dancing and NEVER DO IT EVER even in the privacy of my own walk-in closet. I refused to have music at my own wedding reception because I was afraid someone would pull me onto the dance floor and humiliate me. Luckily, my spouse equally dislikes dancing so this is something we never have to do together.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Skiing. Spent scads of money on private lessons. Forever doomed to the blues and greens. I could probably get better if I made a concerted effort to get to the mountain every weekend all winter. But that's impossible for me.

MsMary

Veteran

Interesting discussion about "if you still suck at it you're not practicing enough." I think that's partly true, but it is also undeniably true that we each have certain areas of endeavor that come easy for us, and some that don't. The reason I say I "suck" at tap dancing is several-fold: 1. I'm not all that naturally gifted at it; 2. I can only fit in three lessons a month, which isn't enough to get really proficient even after several years (and no, I don't practice at home); 3. Our teacher is quite demanding and keeps upping the ante. So no sooner do we master the shuffle-ball-change than we're off to time steps and back-to-Hollywoods and perididdles and all manner of fiendishly difficult new steps and combinations. So we're always working on something that we haven't yet mastered, and that makes it easy to feel like we suck at it.

The reality, though, is that it's all relative. Last summer our class took a hiatus and I went to a "tappercise" class at the local rec center. These ladies tap for exercise, and they've been doing the same routines to the same songs for years. And guess what? Even though I was new I was still one of the best tappers in the class because the routines were so simple! I try to remember that when I get frustrated with Miss Amanda's unreasonable tapping demands! LOL

Coming back to say that one of my mottoes is "anything worth doing, is worth doing badly." If my choices are to tap every day and get great at it, which isn't really an option for a variety of reasons, or do what I'm doing and kind of suck at something I nevertheless love, I'm taking the second one!

Classically Casual

Veteran

As of this morning, DH & I are making another attempt to learn Tai Chi.
It looks SO EASY when someone proficient does it.

For the frustrated gardeners, some locales have garden coaches. There's a lot to learn about gardening besides the ongoing maintenance. Might be worth investigating...

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm not sure I would say I suck, but I don't run very fast. At my 'prime' when I was just 40 I could do about a 9 min mile. That's what I get for waiting until my late 30's to start lol. After a severe ankle sprain and a few more turns of the calendar I seem perpetually stuck around 10 min mile unless racing in a 5K.
And it's not for lack of practice!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Uh, Mo, I'm thrilled if I get back to a sustained 11-min mile. I've never done 9. I truly suck at running.

Oh yeah, I suck at skiing too but I've only done it twice in the last 15 years. I'm great on the easy slopes but can't get comfortable on the intermediate ones.

Fact is, I suck at pretty much anything athletic. It's downright amazing that anyone considers me an athlete. I have no speed what.so.ever.

doubleh

Veteran

It has been so interesting to read everyone's responses- thanks for chiming in! There are certainly things I enjoy doing and I seek to constantly learn and improve- sewing, for instance. But there are a few things that I enjoy- like gardening, singing that to strive for perfection would suck all the fun out of it. Like Janet I tend to be a perfectionist, but there are certain things I just write off from the start.
I just remembered that in high school I did track one year and was sooo slow. I went to every practice, got really in shape and loved the social aspect. BUT, I hated competing and skipped all but two meets. Nobody cared or even noticed.

MsMary

Veteran

Okay, one more funny story: Shortly after I started taking tap class, I remarked that generally when I am this bad at something, I just don't do it. In fact, I try not to do anything I'm not great at. All the ladies in the class were horrified and exclaimed that they did stuff they aren't good at all the time, and I should, too. To which perfectionist me inwardly rolled her eyes and thought "whatevs..."

A couple of weeks later I was at a Bar Association dinner and told that story to a group of women lawyers. They all exclaimed "Of course! Why on earth would you do anything if you weren't great at it!?" Heh... THOSE are my people!!

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, how does that "not doing anything if you weren't great at it" hold up when those female lawyers have kids?

Because much as I loved being a mom, I always felt like I was picking myself up after yet another fumbling, stumbling experience. Luckily both kids turned out great but I give more credit to their resilience than my awesome parenting skills.

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