MsMary, you must be quite a talented woman! If I had to be great at everything right from the get-go in order to keep doing it, I don't think there's a single thing I could do! I'm usually mediocre at best when I first try something.

This is a really good discussion. It is true that some of us are naturally better than others at certain things. Some people have a pretty singing voice, for sure. I think a lot of that is genetic, just like having red hair or big feet. But it's also true that when people really excel at things, and barring any physical limitations (for example, no amount of practice could ever have made me a top basketball player, as I am simply not tall enough), it's because of a sh*tload of practice -- and usually, they are not forcing themselves to practice. The practice happens organically. They start with perhaps a small natural advantage -- an aptitude -- and they keep doing it because the rewards of their efforts spur them on. What is it, 20 000 hours to make you a master? Something like that. And for those who attain mastery aren't beating themselves up to practice every day. Some days, maybe. But mostly, they're just highly motivated.

Take drawing. Most people think they suck at it. A few are really good, and there's not a whole lot in between. People think that those who can draw are "gifted". We are not. Drawing is on of the few things I do very well. I was already way ahead of my peers by the age of ten. But guess how many hours I spent drawing between the ages of two and ten? Probably fifty times more than the average child. For whatever reason, I liked drawing a lot more than most other activities as a child. Maybe I started with a small advantage, who knows? But the thing is, by the time I was ten, most kids had decided that either they could draw, or they couldn't. Those who thought they couldn't simply gave up.

Anyone who wants to get really good at drawing (or violin, or soccer, or math) can. (Well, mostly anyone. I'm sure there are exceptions, just like my mom was almost mentally handicapped when it came to numbers!). The problem is, who, once they reach adulthood, has time to put in the 20 000 hours of practice? Approximately nobody.

Aziraphale, don't remember saying I had to be great RIGHT from the get-go. But I will cop to needing to be pretty great PDQ in order to continue.

But I think we're actually making the same point, which is that to be truly excellent at something you have to put in the time. So the lawyer-mothers like me generally concentrate on being excellent mothers and lawyers and let the rest of it fall by the wayside. (When my son got a little older I got heavily into martial arts and did that almost every day and got excellent at it.) These days, I make an exception for tap class because I love it, even though I choose not to put in the 20,000 hours.

If you've got to be awesome at two things, you couldn't have chosen better things than your parental responsibilities and your job! (Marital arts is a bonus!).

I think the 10,000 hours thing has been somewhat debunked. The Beatles had something special that made those 10000 hours worthwhile. Being a really tight cover band is not the same thing.
Some things demand practice makes perfect - driving. Some do not - yoga, gardening, cooking. And that is part of the beauty of those things, IMHO. Of course I'm drawn to areas where I succeed, but I don't regret at all that I haven't perfected everything I enjoy, nor is that a goal for me.

It's interesting how my feelings about being crummy at something I really like to do have changed in the past few years. In my 30-50s, I'd keep at something until I could get proficient, if not expert, at all kinds of things--dressmaking, skiing, computers--whatever I started, I'd keep doggedly going until I could be proficient. Competition fired me up and I'd do whatever it took to keep up with those around me.

Somehow retirement gave me permission to stop this constant striving. I started golfing and, although I love it, I realized fairly early I'd never be more than mediocre, social golfer. Strangely, that made golf a lot more fun. Being a crummy golfer means I can spend more time enjoying the surroundings and the people I'm with than concentrating on improving myself. If I do well, I'm pleased; if I bungle a shot, I'm OK because I know I'll get a chance to do better in a few minutes. Anyway I cut it, I'm having fun.

Really interesting discussion, I agree with Aziraphale about the drawing, it can be taught, because it's basically a little motor control and a lot of learning how to see IMO. Like her I did a lot of sketching as a child and it had ripple effects as I grew up.

There have been various things I've sucked at (soccer, playing musical instruments, cardinal directions) but none of them have been a real passion, just something I tried for awhile. I guess the closest would be cross-country skiing, because I really saw the potential and enjoyed it in the right conditions, but I wipe out continuously.

There are other things that I love, but also have strong fears associated with, like loving travel, but fearing flying, or loving hiking/backpacking but fearing exposed heights/drop-offs on trails. That's where I have the most internal struggle, because I want to keep doing it, and work around the mental roadblocks.

Although I make the best apple pie EVER! I just can not master lemon meringue! It is DH's favourite, but after several unsuccessful attempts, I have given up and it is just not in my repertoire of baking.

Janet, I consider myself 'a runner' and have been at it for over 40 years, but I have never been fast. My best marathon ever was 4 hrs 41 minutes and I haven't run under 30 min for a 5k (3 miles) since my 30's. Being slow doesn't make you a 'bad' runner, just a slow one! :-). We would probably be very compatible training partners!

Another "love running but not good at it" girl here. I think I must have a whole lot of technique wrong and having such short legs wouldn't help. Part of me want to knuckle down and get good and it and I don't think that would stop my enjoying it - but I can't give exercise that much priority in my life.

BTW double H I love your icon on your name.

Again, love reading this discussion! I think my original motivation to post was thinking along the terms of the "Martha" effect, as someone mentioned, or what I consider the Pinterest effect. Almost like to have an interest you have to excel at it, photo it, and post it and it has to look effortless and perfect. And while I wish I could woofy-poofy be excellent at everything I'm interested in, there are those things I have no interest in getting a degree in; I just like to do. I also like to draw and I have acquired the skill over the years. However, I would never consider myself an artist as I don't have the inner vision to match my technical skills. I still consider it worth the effort when I do.
More "journey" than "destination".
(oh, and thank you Anne!)

Just read the super power thread and love that conversation too! Will go back to comment on it in a minute. Just wanted to pop back in to say that my original intention was more meant as "doing something you love/enjoy for the sake of doing it, rather than achieving perfection in everything". I hope no one took it negatively and focused only on the "suck" part!

Doubleh, no, not at all! I got what you meant. I have just found that anything I spend time doing I tend to get better at over time -- that is, if I invest any effort at all. My track record with gardening is pretty weak, too, but I've always assumed it's because I take a slap-dash approach. My efforts are pretty much limited to occasionally hosing the plants when I remember to do it. I have no doubt that if I decided I was going to actually learn something about gardening (you know, like do some research and then -- crucially -- spend some time out there with a trowel and fertilizer!) I'd get better quickly.

Baking. I love baking but my attempts, while edible, are never quite bakery quality (in taste, not just looks). Fortunately, I'm quite gifted at sauces, custards and frostings, which can cover up myriad sins in a base layer.

Golf. I just love hitting those little balls with the stick. Unfortunately, I can't. They don't let me out on the green.

Telling jokes. I can never remember them. But when I remember one, I like to tell it a lot, because I love to get a laugh out of people.

I have been pondering this question for a week and I could not think of anything until this moment. I love to draw, but I suck at it. I can look at a picture and draw that well, but I can't draw looking at scenery, or still life, or even from imagination.

There! Now I can sleep at night....

Coming out of lurkdom to say that I suck at sewing but I think it's good for me. I love fabric and the act of sewing. It forces me to be precise, think critically/objectively about my body (not in a negative way, just on how to drape/sew fabric) and is just good practice using my less-used parts of my brain!

That said, it can get really, really frustrating.