Hi Rae - so sorry that you're feeling so crappy! I won't even venture to guess what is going on with you with regards to emotional/psych issues - but just want to reiterate what several people have already suggested - seek out professional help! Like - this week!
Also - its not your job to figure out whether "The Problem to Treat" is depression or your situation. That's not important at the moment. Just get some professional help and let them figure it out! Hugs.

Hugs, Rae! So... I like what Natalie had to say and think Adelfa sensible and, like lyn, wonder about the fit of Dr. Shrink.

Straight up, you sound worn thin. Psychological traumas (small or large) have physiological effects. And it's not like normal stresses can't do a freeway pile-up either. So...

...So my first thought was, meds can be just what a body needs to get back on track. Western medicine gets a bad rap for treating symptoms and not
getting at causes. And it can be that way, like with schizophrenia, which
has been in the news. But it's not like there's much more on tap for
schizophrenia -- schizophrenia is pretty special -- and there are really just a lot of things where meds are the boost up.

... My second thought... I was actually sort of thinking the opposite... that Dr. Shrink doesn't sound like he's doing CBT (which indeed is a go-to in the U.S. here).

Also, Dr. Shrink sounds like he's giving personal reactions -- or you're hearing things in the shape of personal reactions (like whether sales is embittering in the long run based on personal experiences of sales people). Do you know what your therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist (?) practices? Have you ever asked and has he ever said what he believes "normal and well-adjusted" to be?

I like to know what methodology folks use and what goal they're shooting for, so as to better participate - to more accurately interpret, implement, and evaluate.

This would be a pleasantly convenient time to see another doctor and get another opinion, while Dr. Shrink is away...

p.s. Rae, sad to say, that lot in life - being wrung out and tossed aside - is not limited to sales...

My concern is that Dr. Shrink seems to be telling you/encouraging you what to be anxious or upset about. In other words, you came to him due to PTSD and perhaps general depression, and he is giving you not-so-subtle advice that your job is a problem, and if it isn't a problem now it probably will be in the future. Even if that is true, it isn't his position to tell you how you should or will feel about your job, no matter how many others may have felt the way he describes.

I'd seek out another professional. While the job might be part of the problem, that should be YOUR decision and revelation, not your doctor's.

I also, uh, echo Echo's feelings about the doctor going over the line in putting you off this line of work. Part of me wonders if this isn't the trigger or somehow one of the bigger immediate factors in your depression, despite its less immediately traumatic nature compared to other things. Then again, then again, I'm no doctor so what do I know? I'm just so sorry you're having to deal with this insidious problem. You've been getting some great advice here; I have nothing to add. But I do fervently hope you can straighten this out with some meds, if need be, a ton of friendship/support, perhaps a new shrink, or not, and YES to heaps of self-care. Hugs.

I think other things being equal, it's best not to make major life decisions when you're in a really bad place. Obviously there are times when it's unavoidable ... but this doesn't sound like one. If meds have helped before and Dr. Shrink is happy to prescribe, why not try them again for a few months, and see if that helps you decide whether it's your job or something else that's the real problem?

Of course, this is probably colored by my own experiences. I have made some really bad decisions while depressed, mostly guided by fear and avoidance. I am both happier and more rational on low-dose anti-depressants.

You have received some amazing advice and I don't have anything additional to offer but I do think you are amazing and I am sending you good thoughts, prayers and hugs!!! xox

Rae I can't offer any further advice (so glad you've gotten so much great thought here!), but you know I just wanted to shoot even more hugs over your way *HUGS!!* My life has turned a bit recently and my much-less-severe emotional stress is worrying and tiring, so I can't imagine how much the added stress about what you're feeling is giving you! Seriously, please feel free to call or text me at any time, even if it's only when you're feeling blue. Not sure how helpful I can be, but I'm a good listener and I'd rather be able to hear from you than not <3

Rae, I'll PM you but on here I'm going to send a huge hug and reassurance that you can and will feel better - it's hard to see the end of the tunnel but it's there. Sometimes it's just getting through the next few minutes, but it will happen. Meanwhile, know you have many people here rooting for you and supporting you. Is your mate aware of how you feel, and is he able to give you objective feedback on what he thinks is going on right now?

XOXO - you are a sensitive, thoughtful soul who has been through a lot, and I am so glad you shared with the group here.

Oh Rae, sending you more hugs and good thoughts. I cannot offer any advice to what you already received (which is excellent!), just wanted to be there for you. Please take care of yourself!

I don't have practical advice... Just sending big hugs! <3

Rae, so sorry you are feeling down. I still get flashbacks from my PSTD event, so it happens. I'm concerned that the things that used to give you joy are not now. I think that Dr .Shrink shouldn't have generalized that retail males people bitter. I worked 13 years, both full and part time in retail. It wasn't my dream job, but there are many people who love retail.

I don't really have anything medical to add, you've gotten a ton of great advice. I hope you are able to work this out soon.

Sending you lots of hugs. Be kind to yourself. Remember you are loved.

Gosh, Rae, you've been through so much over the last year or so, including your move. That alone would put me over the edge.

While you're waiting to see someone professionally, can you up your exercise? Those endorphins are friendly creatures. Also spending time in nature can be life affirming and calming.

All the best to you...

Rae, I'm late to this thread because I've been away.

I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult time. I'm glad you reached out here. I know it may be very difficult to believe now, but things will get better. (I say this as one who has suffered a number of clinical depressions. And lived to tell the tale.)

Medication doesn't just mask symptoms. That's not to say you must go on medication. It's only to say -- it's not a "crutch" And even if it were -- so what, if a crutch is precisely what you need?

Rae, I agree completely with Suz about medication not being a crutch. If you have a hormonal imbalance affecting your mood, you should do what you can to correct it just as you would as a diabetic reliant on insulin. I am not a doctor, and cannot diagnose you from here, but have suffered from depression and wish I had been treated earlier in my life. I do believe traumatic events can set off a depression that nonetheless may need medical treatment, and you should find a doctor that you click with, as wisely suggested above. Best wishes and warm thoughts.

You have done the right thing by reaching out. I am newish here and don't feel I can offer advice but I am so heartened to see the wonderful sensible advice offered. It is a tough time but you are not alone. Take care and lots of support from Down Under!!

Dear Rae, I will pray for you.

From my own experience with depression and anxiety, I would say that when you reach the point that you cry for no apparent reason and can't get joy out of anything, you have a brain chemical issue to deal with that is best treated with either medication or else herbs (if you can't tolerate medication). I think these things start out as everyday emotional stressors that keep piling up and then start taxing the body in such a way that it can no longer regain its balance even after the stressors are gone. So the body needs help to regain its balance, and then at that point, you can start really doing some psychological work on the deeper issues. It's really hard to do talk therapy when you're exhausted all the time and can't "feel" anything because you're numb.

I agree with the other commenters who said that if you aren't feeling comfortable with Dr. Shrink, it would be best to go elsewhere. Perhaps you could call around and find someone who has dealt a lot with PTSD. I don't know a lot about PTSD, but I would imagine that the recent stressors in your life have probably caused it to resurface. I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD, but my psychologist is considering doing so, due to childhood abuse. I find that some episodes are triggered by feeling out of control and overwhelmed by present circumstances. And I would definitely wait until you feel back on track to make any long-term decisions about retail.

I do have a friend with PTSD, and I remember that she used to take some kind of medication at night that would help her not have nightmares. I don't remember what it was, though. Maybe that would be a help to you? Sleep is such a big help in healing our taxed systems.

I am sorry to read that you are going through this Rae, and do hope that you are feeling much better soon!

Rae, I can completely relate to that idea of feeling alone -- partly by your own choice, and partly because you feel you can't reach out to people only during times of crisis if you haven't been keeping up with them all along. That's me in a nutshell. If you tend to isolate as I do, it can feel impossible to reach outside when you really need to.

But if there is even one person you've had a relationship with in the past, I would say just do it. See if they can meet you for coffee, even if you haven't spoken to them in a year. There are many friendships that withstand a long drought, and many people who would be happy to help even by just listening. You might even be doing that person a big favor by giving them the chance to help you. If I were the person you called after a year of nothing, I would want to help.

Good luck sorting things out with Dr. Shrink.

And don't forget we are all here.

Dear Rae, my heart goes out to you and my prayers are going up for you. I don't have any further advice to the great deal you have already received, except that it seems to me from this thread that you do have some friends, right here on this board, who have your number, and can be there for you!

Hugs and warm thoughts to you Rae.

I'm sorry that I haven't had the chance to read all the responses before throwing mine out there.

1. If you feel like you're a danger to yourself in any way, get yourself immediately to the hospital.
2. Short of imminent danger, as hard as it sounds, settle in for this to be a long process.

Is Dr Shrink a prescriber? If not, get a med eval. I think people often have the notion that going to a prescriber means they will go on meds. That doesn't have to be the case. Have a consultation, consider the treatment proposal offered to you and make a decision from there.

Mental Health is complicated. I highly recommend finding one doc or group that is in line with your priorities and philosophies and try to stay with them. Medications especially can take a bit of fine tuning. Every time you jump to someone new they need to start over to some degree.

Ask your provider about EMDR. I've seen amazing results for people with trauma who have had this treatment.

Best of luck. You are not alone. You are loved. You're important to a whole giant pile of people. Keep your eye on the prize. You don't have to feel this way forever, and you won't.

Rae - I'm afraid I have no wisdom or personal experience to draw upon and give you useful advice. You have received much advice from those here much more knowledgeable.

But I do want to send you a GIGANTIC HUG and let you know that your Fabber sisters are all holding you close and sending you positive vibes. You are much loved

No additional wisdom from me Rae, but just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and more virtual hugs being sent your way.

ETA: Maybe some wisdom, seconding Suz on exercise, book Spark by John Ratey does some interesting discussion on the relationships between exercise and mental health.

Hi Rae, so sorry to hear about your current struggles; it sounds like you have more going on than anyone could bear without feeling depressed ...

No great advice except to echo the sentiment that medication does not just mask symptoms, it's not a "happy pill" ... but in my experience it can give you enough clarity to be able to work with other tools, such as CBT, exercise, etc., nor does it need to be a permanent state of affairs (although if it is because it works, then that's not a bad thing). I am happy to share more about my personal experience by PM if you want.
In the meantime, take good care of yourself and so glad you reached out for support; clearly you are not alone. x

Rae:

I don't know you well enough to know what your situation is, or to even presume to offer advice. But, I do want to say that it takes tremendous courage to talk about these things "publicly" , and the fact that you are reaching out and talking about it is a testament to strength you might not realize you have.

I understand the feelings you describe all too well. Been there, more than once, and know how frightening it is.

I know you will find the tools that will work for you - you seem like a very smart woman. You have many friends here too, which is so wonderful. I am thinking of you, and hope you fight through this.

Regards,
Lisa

*hugs* Rae. you are not alone

Rae, for me (trained as but not a practicing psychologist) the factor that especially signals depression rather than just a brief period of unhappiness is the random crying spells.

Yes to what TG said about meds -- they can help you feel strong enough to put the rest of the pieces together.

Wishing you strength and success as you confront this issue. You are so loved and admired on YLF! We're all rooting for you.

Hi all, I have an update and wanted you to know that I read and very much appreciate every single response here.

I got a list of docs in my insurance network - and was just about to lose my mind (again) with seemingly endless wait times to get in etc. - but finally got to a place that could see me the same day.

This doc kind of raised an eyebrow at the fact that I wasn't still doing therapy for my PTSD and childhood issues. Kind of like, "And they let you stop...why...??" I'm shocked by how different her perspective is, really. And she's given me a prescription for a low-dose med, which I'll go pick up today.

I also was able to go do a wardrobe consultation in my client's home, away from all the micro-managing, and I have to say I really had a blast despite my low baseline and the fact that I was working for free through The Company. My client seemed really happy with what we'd done, and we have a plan for future sessions. Now if I can only figure out how to make money doing that instead of sales... o_0