Thanks for being so fab, Jean :). I appreciate your gracious comment too. Love you in your muted warm colours!!

My heart goes out to each of the sad stories shared on this thread

I'm VERY sensitive to bright artificial light. I *cannot* handle it. I am a lady of the darkness.

I am VERY stimulated by bright colours and high contrasts. They make me happy and I feel energized by them - which sounds like the opposite to quite a few of you, bar MaryK - who I am high fiving! So am I *not* a highly sensitive person?

Angie,
It has no meaning other than you may not have a nervous system that responds adversely to too much noise, activity, socializing. Or it may respond less than others . Or not- I do not know. Sounds like you are sensitive to light.
I know you are an exceptionally sensitive, compassionate and caring person but that has nothing to do with being "highly sensitive" in this context. I suspect that from the life you lead, you can handle and juggle a lot of stimulation without too much difficulty, in fact you seem to thrive on it, whereas I might need more reflective, quiet time to handle your schedule. Mine is too busy right now and I am less creative and too stressed much too often.

Being energized by bright colors is what makes your style work so well- you exude confidence and vitality- it shows from head to toe. Hope that makes sense.

Oh but you are Angie, you are a very sensitive person. You are very sensitive to others feelings. You are very intuitive. You have a gift of that which you give to others.

Thanks for chiming back in, Jean! And for saying awfully gracious things (*blushing*).

This makes perfect sense. I LOVE noise, activity and socializing. It calms me down. Blaring heavy rock music relaxes my heart (with a strong cuppa tea). Yoga and soft music make me tense. I find the street noise in Manhattan calming (which is why I leave the hotel window open so that I can fall asleep with the noise). I am much more relaxed in an urban city, than in a quiet home in the countryside. I guess I *am* less sensitive in that way

Thanks, Scarlet

/highfive to the blaring heavy rock music Angie! I always tell people I could sleep happily to metal or punk (or Bach, but you know)

Interesting to read the varied responses!

Dislikes: bright lights, crowds, strong chemicals/perfumes, rooms without lots of white space, rooms with lots of pattern, loud noise (have fallen asleep on my feet hearing live music that felt overwhelming...the ultimate shut down!)

Environmental likes: bold/contrasting color (appreciate neutrals, but don't enjoy being in them day-in-day out). Got some warnings when I chose to DIY deep blue-green tile in my small kitchen [1] but 6 years later still love it.

Clothing likes: Have moved from solely black-on-black to cool-based colors that often match kitchen tile referenced above/pictured below.

Generally prefer tonal or monochromatic combos with a bit of contrast [2-3], but strongly contrasting fits a dominant part of my personality so I will "go there." [4!]

Not sure where that leaves me, ha!

Vix- love the visuals- beautiful!!!

Wow Vix, awesome pictures!!!! What a great picture of you high kicking! Amazing. I'd give that a killer rating for sure. I love the tile backsplash too!

This is such an amazing, heartfelt thread, Jean. I have so enjoyed reading everyone's stories. But there is one line in your post that no one has mentioned:

"I also think that we look a certain way because it somehow matches who we are. There is a harmony that exists when we wear what we are meant to."

This struck me as something I have never heard before, and it also struck me as completely true. I am going to think about that for a long, long time and maybe use it in my writing. It's a thought that comes from a very deep and creative place so thank you for sharing it!

My oldest son has sensory processing issues so I immediately thought of him while reading this thread. On the one hand, he seems to seek out bright colors (you should see the shirt he picked out last week!), loud noises, and activity, but on the other hand, he struggles sometimes with the same things.

The more I learn about it, the more I realize I have similar tendencies (some people believe we all do to some extent, just some a lot more than others). I currently have horrible lighting over my kitchen table and it's driving me insane. I've complained about it a lot and my husband seems to think I'm crazy. I love neutrals, but color just makes me sing, and it seems to run in my family. My sister and I have had several conversations about the importance of color over the years, but we always assumed it was because we were raised in such a neutral, colorless home.

Vix, my son used to fall fast asleep when my husband would take him to professional sporting events and this was the child who never napped EVER. We finally figured out it was him shutting down from being completely overstimulated, like you've experienced.

Oh, and I ADORE your tile! Wowza!

Angie, I too am a lover of noise and flash - I associate it with family (in a good way) and holidays and India. And color is a huge part of that too, culturally. When you think of Indian clothing, you do not think of subdued and soothing! My son has gotten the idea - when I modeled the orange dresses for him, he said "Nice Indian dress, Mama!".

I think "highly sensitive" has a whole different meaning in the context that Jean presented it - it's not the opposite of "insensitive" at all.

You've got Laura thinking

Una, *someone* (include your insightful son too) who gets what it takes to soothe my senses! I do very well in Indian communities.

High five back, Aida!

Jean, thank you for your very timely post. So much to think about. And thank you everyone for sharing.

I like color contrasts and bright colors in clothes. If I had my own house, it would definitely be brightly decorated. I think it expresses my personality well. I don't feel myself in neutrals or reserved combinations. I appreciate them a lot, and I may turn to them here and there.

In terms of personality and the senses, I waver between maximalism and being mellow and introverted (and it shows in my style, I think). I have very sensitive hearing; I'm very sensitive to light and smell, and yet I seek out a variety of music, perfume, food flavors, bright colors. I like busy streets and I like the countryside. I like and need to socialize and talk and share, but in very controlled amounts. I like being active, but a highly packed schedule drives me nuts. I definitely need my mellow and quiet moments and I like to zone out. I'm highly empathic, too (except when I'm being very dense).

So basically I think I tend towards a balance of some sort. I don't know what it is, though.

And that's why YLF is a treasure to me. It may start with encouraging us to find and embrace our own style, and in fact it makes us dig a lot deeper.

Oooh, interesting.

For myself, I love bright, muted and neutral colours - I love colour and texture and shape - I was always quite good at art at school, and I just get a feeling when something is 'right' (for me - it's subjective, I know!). I do have colourful, bright clothes, although I know that for my colouring, muted, low-contrast colour pairings look best. But sometimes I just ignore that, as my bright green raincoat, paired with a purple umbrella, is cheery on a rainy day!

However, I don't like noise and noisy environments. I only listen to talk radio stations, music radio rubs all my nerve endings the wrong way and makes me jittery and cross - I can't explain it rationally. I think part of it is that I can't control what music I hear on the radio, so I may like some of it, but if something I don't care for is played, I just want to switch off! I love silence, I love being on my own ... and my home is decorated in soft, neutral colours - it feels peaceful, calm and uncluttered.

I haven't taken the test yet.

Vix, I LOVE those images! Adore your tile, and every one of those photos!

So illustrative and so beautiful.

Like Laura, I am interested in the idea that each of us has a way she was "meant" to dress and look...that must be our personal "effortless" look, whatever that is, whether vivid and strong, or muted and subdued.

wow, lena. Your description of yourself is what I would have written about myself, except you did it more eloquently

I have been thinking about this thread a lot, and haven't commented yet because I can't figure out what I am! On the one hand, I LOVE bright colors and patterns in my clothing and surroundings. On the other hand, I HATE loud noises and crowds, am very sensitive to smells, and am a complete and total introvert. I like small intimate gatherings and detest large loud parties, for example. My clothes are a lot louder than I am! Perhaps that is just my introverted way of expressing myself?

I've noticed that most people instinctively decorate their homes in colors that are flattering to them. The neutrals that Jean prefers are gorgeous with her hair, she doesn't need anything else!

In spite of being shy and not liking to stand out, I love color and am energized by it -- love to look at in fabrics, flowers, dishes, etc. Looking at neutral rooms just drains the life out of me. Some years ago I was laid off from my job and although still financially ok it was a very difficult period for me; when I started working again I was so happy and felt that I had gone from a black and white world to one with color -- even bought an art poster with bright happy colors to put on my office wall!

Also, when I see gorgeous colored fabrics or flowers I just have to reach out and touch them. Maybe I'm getting an energy transfer!

This is getting really interesting.
I think for the most part it is "How one reacts to stimuli" with regards to sensitivity to certain stimuli. Loud noise, bright lights excessive crowds can overwhelm me, but energize others.
And while I love colors . to look , feel, and appreciate them on others...too much color on me makes me tense and uncomfortable...too bad really because I love color, just not on me in large doses:) It must be somehow achored in black or another neutral.

Oh, Jean, what a fascinating thread!

Angie, you may be one of the people who react adversely to fluorescent light? There are a small group of people who react very adversely to fluorescent flicker, even though its strictly not discernable to the human eye. These people can discriminate special fluorescent sources and incandescent sources from standard flourescent lights from the symptoms they experience.

San and Una, I am sorry.....sending extra hugs your way.

I feel very 'at home' with my favourite colours - neutrals, aqua, pinks, most greens, and translucent colours; I have a visceral reaction to my favourites. I am often described as friendly, outgoing, and calm. I can see how my colours could reflect that.....

Just a comment to modern-day lighting, energy-saving lights are my nemesis. They give me a headache. Some of the newer broad-specttrum ones are okay, but the rest are like the illusion of light without actually helping me to see anything. Oh, I get a headache thinking about it, but my DH thinks I am nuts.

Vix--I would love to have that turquoise backsplash.

Vix, we have a bathroom in bright blue tiles. We were told not to as well, but we love it! And I could see myself in your rose hued outfit in #3 in a flat second. thanks for the reminder that I need not have all vibrant jewel tones in my closet. There is plenty of room for the softer expression of colors.

Do you feel these things have changed as your life has changed?

The colours in your first apartment to the colours in your home now with husband/partner (totally different taste) and perhaps animals/children?

This is positively uncanny. I read this post yesterday and wanted to reply but just didn't have time. Then this morning I was talking to a friend and she mentioned this exact thing.

She is absolutely on Team Neutral, Team Light Color, and Team Low Contrast. She mixes a lot of off-white, cream, beige, and light gray. Interestingly, though, she has a very outgoing, attention-loving personality. Then there's me. I'm very quiet, shy, and unassuming...but I love wearing loud, strong, bright colors. My favorite color is as loud and bright as it gets (true red).

We are both similar in coloring, so our color preferences can't be explained by that alone.

We are both designers and so we have some artistic background, but I don't know that I'd describe myself as an artist. I am definitely hyper-sensitive to noise and sound, but I actually feel energized by visual stimuli.

Great topic!!! I started reading a day ago but didn't get a chance to comment. Interesting book Gg, I want to check it out.
Blessings to those who shared the sad stories and the people affected by them.
I just did the online test and it looks like I might be hypersensitive too. I'm less so now than I used to be, I think, since as I've gotten older I've learned to tune things out a bit. Very sensitive to perfumes and smells, bright lights and loud noises. I am very sensitive to food flavors as well, though now I enjoy very strong flavors. Also to movie images -- can cry for "no reason" very suddenly, though I usually tend to cry very little.
My Meyers-Briggs is fairly balanced, but I think that's a learned characteristic as much as natural. I'm pretty balanced between Extroverted and Introverted, and Thinking and Feeling, and Judging and Perceiving, though I am very Intuitive rather than Sensory.
My preferred colors for clothing and decor are muted brights or neutrals, though I favor cooler undertones to warmer ones. I do wear brighter brights sometimes but I feel more on display at those times. I rarely if ever wear paler colors. It could just be me, but I think I favor cooler toned colors b/c they are more "distancing" than warmer colors which tend to be more "welcoming". I am a pretty social and outgoing person but I do like to be a bit reserved and I definitely value my quiet time apart from others.

@ Freckles: love your icon, but Luongo needs to play better. Sorry ladies, very OT.

Fascinating, fabulous thread -- thanks Jean!
I would love to know what you would all make of me in this context...because I fit the book's theory almost to the letter. I have a lively personality, a big laugh, and generally a fairly strong presence. I am extraverted and love the stimulation of conversation. Like Angie, I thrive on urban bustle and can't possibly see myself living outside of a city long-term. I am a pianist and singer, and I adore the complex harmonies of a Rachmaninoff or a Debussy compared to the technical, sterile precision of a Mozart. Based on these criteria, it will surprise noone to see me sporting saturated jewel tones (deep reds, bright blues, cheerful, bolder purples, even rich greens). When I wear neutrals, they're usually in high-contrast combinations like black and white. To this day,I can't wrap my head around pairing dark denim with black alone.

The ccatch is, of course, that my sense of colour was entirely taught, not naturally acquired like the rest of you (I may have retained some impressions from the nine months of my life when I could see, but that's all). I started seeking out red and blue pieces because those were the shades that I was told looked good with my skin and hair. At this point, I feel most comfortable in those hews and in fact often feel incomplete without them, but I've never known whether it's due to conditioning or a natural response somewhere in my subconcious.

I think perhaps my unusual situation demonstrates Jean's point that we're all meant to dress and look a certain way...that our aesthetic preferences are imbedded somewhere in our DNA and can only be fully recognized when we stop and seek some fundamental, primal connection to our own personalities.

Thank you, also, for distinguishing between sensory and emotional sensitivity. I'm atuned to my senses (I have to be in order to survive), and I've learned to process a great deal with the senses that remain to me. Overstimulation is not a problem, but emotionalism is my defining characteristic, for good or ill.

Sandy and Una, big hugs to you both.

Diana, you just nailed something I also wanted to emphasize: my clothes tend to be a little louder than my personality, and that maybe this is how our introverted selves are trying to express themselves. I also suspect I have a mild extrovert inside my introvert, so maybe this is how my (multiple?!?) personalities are bursting out

Fascinating discussion.

I have a little hypothesis developing here. An number of people here who have described themselves as introverted have also expressed a love of bright colours. I prefer dark, neutral colours, for clothing at least (if we're talking plain colour swatches, I have more colourful preferences), and I'm absolutely an extrovert. I wonder if, for some people who are by nature less outgoing, wearing bright colours could be an alternative, non-verbal way of expressing themselves? Because, of course, the action that's going on inside an introvert's mind can be every bit as vibrant as (some might say more so than) an extrovert's.

Just an idea. I have nothing to base it on, really.

I think much of the way we process various types of stimulation is hard-wired, and while it may correlate to introvert/extravert there can be a lot of "some from column A and some from column B."

But then I know a lot of mega-introverts who are real sensation-seekers -- whether the sensation is music, noise, color, pattern etc!

[While I'm someone is borderline I/E but likes a certain amount of boldness and stimulation as long as I have literally and environmentally "quiet" areas to recharge.]

Speaking of...thank you Greenglove, San, NK, Suz, Scarlet, and Mo for the compliments on my tile/photos -- and honestly though it's bold, I find it super-soothing to LOOK at the play of light over the tile!

Mo, I *love* your bathroom tile and could happily exist in that room. Were the same pattern say, wallpaper, though, I'd be overload!

Also glad you like the deep rose cardigan color...which brings me back full circle, as I have found a lot of what GG mentions in her opening post is part of the hotly-debated on YLF "color me beautiful" kind of systems.

In most of the systems I've seen, EVERY "season" or category has colors that are deep or light for *them." I've never been "typed" but was finding that all the brighter shades I would get as gifts or bought because I had dark hair and eyes + pale skin felt as if they were wearing me.

The hot pink in my Ultimate PMS Skirt above is an example of a color that I feel is too bright and not in harmony with my coloring -- though as I mentioned upthread it works pretty well with my personality.

I cheat by wearing it away from my face, but dial back the intensity of the shade quite a bit when wearing as a top. On *me* the dialed-back deep pink still looks like what I think most "non-color-clinical" people would call bright or strong or deep -- but it looks like it belongs on me compared to the skirt pink.

Likewise, the wrong pale neutral looks terrible on me, but the right one [below, with me makeup-free!] is fine and I can wear it without feeling "disharmony" even though it's a little -- ok a lot! -- quieter!

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments- I am so happy this has raised such interesting ideas.
You can be extroverted and highly sensitive.
Maya, I thought of you when thinking about your personality and love of bright color.
First of all- of course you are an artist!
Personality is not what makes someone highly sensitive. Just being quiet does not mean that you are extra sensitive to stimuli in your environment. Your friend might be highly sensitive in this extremely physiological way and have a very extroverted personality.
Another thing to note, how many of us are our true selves? I think that takes years.
Really knowing and acting as our authentic selves is not necessarily who we are out in the world. Our environment and upbringing often shapes our personalities. If it is an unhealthy one we may need an adjustment in order for our true natures to appear. For example, growing up in a loud family that does not listen well to each other may force someone to always long to be heard and seen, but when away from this environment for a length of time, that same person may not be as talkative or want much attention.

In reverse, a person who had to speak up for others or be a caretaker at an early age may be more reserved away from that environment because of being burnt out and wanting to be away from others, but later on in life might find a personality that is much more social emerging.

Michele- I think you have expressed beautifully what I am pondering. We grow in awareness of our true natures over time, much like finding our fashion personas. I guess that is why I think artists who are in the creative process much of their time become aware of their natures possibly sooner and/or with more intensity, This seems to be true for therapists, yoga teachers or those in contemplative fields. I suspect that your personality and coloring has prompted others to see that the bright color and high contrast outfits you prefer look the best on you,. which in turn is really how you were created.

I do think that we are created to be whole and that eventually that reflects in many decisions that we make.
Angie- you have helped so many women become more themselves by using your
remarkable gift to enhance what is inside of all of them. It is a process.

People that I admire, both because of how they dress and how authentic they are as people have that enviable quality of effortlessness in abundance. They look like themselves.